


Never Say Goodbye

by SharkbaitSekki



Series: Danger AU [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe, Backstory, Childhood Friends, Danger AU, Drug Withdrawal, Friends to Lovers, Gang Violence, Gen, Getting Together, Human Trafficking, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mafia AU, Mafia Claude, Medical Accuracy, Mob boss Dimitri, Modern day Fodlan, Non-Explicit, Organized Crime, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, past sexual violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-18 00:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 42,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21518605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkbaitSekki/pseuds/SharkbaitSekki
Summary: In just one day, Dimitri loses everyone he's ever loved and is forced to claim his untimely birthright as boss of the Blue Lions mafia. For five years, he leads a life of isolation, fighting for misguided revenge in the name of those he lost, until one day, just as suddenly as he supposedly died, his childhood friend Claude reappears on the grid. And it doesn't matter that Claude is different; that he's damaged, that he's changed, that something's horribly wrong with him- all that matters is that death was not goodbye, and Dimitri will never let him go again.[FE3H mafia AU: The DimiClaude reunion/recovery/get-together]
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Claude von Riegan, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Series: Danger AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1543861
Comments: 19
Kudos: 162





	1. Without you, it feels so empty

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to the Danger AU, part 2! Please read part 1 of the series, or this will make absolutely no sense whatsoever. 
> 
> AnimeNYC last weekend gave me horrible con plague, so I decided to write the medical episode of this series just to fit the mood. This episode basically takes place five years before the events of part 1, when Claude escapes from Thales, and Dimitri finds him again. Although we're going back in time, please read the episodes in order of posting, because I'm not shy about referencing/plugging easter eggs from earlier episodes in the new ones!
> 
> The title is from the song "Gloomy" by Super Junior D&E. It's from the same album as "Danger", the song that inspired the AU, so like... I'm keeping the concept going LOL. 
> 
> Warnings for sexual violence in this fic!! It was mild and implied in the first part, but this episode really deals with Claude's mentality fresh out of captivity, so it's going to be more apparent. Again, although there is implied non-con in the past, I'd like to stress that the use of sex in this fic is not about the sex itself but about having control over someone's body and free will. Hence, the sexual violence tag VS the rape/noncon tag (which I will not use, I don't think it's the best tag that applies). If you're worried about the content warnings and would like to ask before you read, you are welcome to talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/CasuallyInvidia), [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/invidiacasually/?hl=en) or [Tumblr](https://sharkbaitsekki.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Otherwise, please enjoy!

Dimitri was seven years old when he first met Claude.

He had been busy in the shooting range under his father’s company building, little hands wrapped around the grip of a Glock as he shot at the paper target hanging at the end of the range. The recoil from the firearm hurt his shoulder and he stumbled back a little each time, frustrated with himself for not being able to hold a proper stance. He wanted to shoot like Felix’s father- fast, steady, accurate- but he’d only been wielding firearms for less than a year, and the apparent lack of improvement was frustrating him.

Finishing his clip, Dimitri called the paper target forward, disheartened to note that only three of his bullets had hit a vital spot. Sighing, he set the gun down on the counter, and took the mufflers off his ears.

“You should try leaning your weight back a little,” a new voice casually called out from behind him, and Dimitri whipped around, not recognizing it. “A more vertical position can help you control recoil.”

Following the voice to its source, Dimitri locked eyes with a young boy in a yellow hoodie who was sitting on the steps leading up, cheeks cradled in his hands and looking absolutely carefree. He, too, wore safety glasses and had his mufflers around his neck, and looked much too comfortable in them for Dimitri to let his guard down. He felt less tense when he evaluated the boy as being around his age, but didn’t relax just yet, knowing how even children in this sort of business could be lethal. He’d seen Felix wield a knife, and there were no illusions there.

“Who are you?” Dimitri asked, gaze roving as the boy stood up to approach him. His skin was more tan than Dimitri’s, and his wavy hair was a smooth chocolate brown, green eyes sparkling mischievously as they caught the neon lights running along the ceiling. He skipped his way towards Dimitri, hands shoved in the pockets of his pants, and stopped in front of him.

“I’m Claude Riegan,” the boy introduced himself, thrusting a hand out at Dimitri for a handshake, and Dimitri recognized him even without another word said.

“Oh, you’re the heir to the Golden Deer,” he completed, now much more relaxed in Claude’s company, and happily shaking his hand. “I’m Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, the heir to the Blue Lions. It’s nice to meet you.”

“For sure!” Claude hummed. “I’ve heard a lot about you from my dad, so I’m glad we finally get to meet. I didn’t know you were gonna be so tall, though!”

“Oh,” Dimitri stuttered out, embarrassed. “I’m not that tall. My friend Sylvain is much taller than me, and he’s only a year older.”

“Sylvain Jose Gautier, the son of Underboss Gautier,” Claude nodded as if he understood completely. “Only Underboss Fraldarius came with your dad to Garreg Mach City this time, though, right?”

“Yes,” Dimitri confirmed. “Rodrigue is my father’s right-hand man, so he’s the only one who comes with us to the annual tripartite meeting. Everyone else is still in Fhirdiad. Your father doesn’t have a right-hand man, though, correct?”

“The heads of the Golden Deer don’t typically elect one, no,” Claude explained, shifting his weight idly between his feet. “We usually work in something we call an ‘alliance’, so my father keeps select underbosses close to him instead of just one person who is directly in charge. It helps shift the power away from one branch of the organization and gives everyone an equal responsibility, avoiding conflicts and struggles for power afterward.”

“I guess we’ve both done our homework,” Dimitri chuckled. “It’s my first time at one of these meetings, so I studied a lot on the Golden Deer and the Black Eagles before coming.”

“Me, too,” Claude said, and then turned to the range extending before them. “Now, let me show you how I shoot! My dad said that until I get bigger and stronger, I have to expect recoil with any weapon I pick, but a stable stance will always help.”

“Right…” Dimitri groaned, remembering his first experience with a firearm. “My father allowed me to shoot with his Desert Eagle once. I flew back so far that I was bruised for days.”

To that, Claude only laughed, his voice high and airy and innocent as he dropped his mufflers over his ears and switched places with Dimitri.

“It’ll come in time,” he reassured his friend, resetting the target before easily re-loading a new clip and turning to it with the Glock in his hands. Dimitri watched his entire existence shift, then, quieting, becoming stiffer and more focused, each breath controlled and eyes narrowed sharply. His aura dissipated, all prior mirth evaporating, and leaving in its place something dark, something killer.

Claude spread his weight equally between his legs and dropped his cheek to his bicep, taking a deep breath. Dimitri subconsciously took it with him. And then, Claude fired, unloading his bullets in rapid succession while visibly absorbing the recoil each time. Even before Dimitri realized it, it was over, and Claude set the gun down on the counter.

Neither of them said anything as Claude brought the target forward, as everything was already said when the shredded bullseye stopped in front of them.

And at that very moment, Dimitri finally understood why his father so fiercely protected the peace between the Blue Lions and the Golden Deer.

…-…-…-…

Although the relationship between Fódlan’s three major groups of organized crime always shifted, it almost always remained amicable- for the most part, at least. The Blue Lions, with their territory encompassing the province of Faerghus, did drug trade amongst many other things, and the Eagles, with their grip on the province of Adrestia, had a large hand in weapons trade. Considering the ever-changing nature of their activities of choice, the two frequently found themselves in conflicts, and the more stable Deer, with near-total control of the province of Leicester, acted as arbiters in the resolution of their issues before they could degenerate.

Dimitri learned of this triangle of power as he grew, every day being groomed more and more into becoming the future of the Blue Lions. As he grew taller and broader, his father had him learn to shoot and fight at close range until he could take down men twice his size without breaking a sweat. Mostly, however, Dimitri studied, learning all about laws and how to break them, trade and stocks, and business management. He spent most of his time training to one day take over his father’s legacy, day in and day out without much time for leisure.

However, despite that, he remained friends with Claude. Dimitri already didn’t have many opportunities to make friends, mostly always hanging around the kids of the families that traditionally served the Blaiddyd family- Felix, Glenn, Sylvain and Ingrid- and even they could only have so much empathy for Dimitri’s position as heir to a hugely influential criminal organization.

Claude, however, understood Dimitri, and intimately so. He understood the burden and the elation of being so powerful, the stress of expectations and the unquenchable desire to excel. He understood the struggle of building a persona, wearing a mask from a young age so that everyone around him began to respect him even as a child. He understood the importance of controlling his emotions and carefully choosing his words, and therefore the heavy mental weight of never being able to be himself around others.

He understood Dimitri and Dimitri understood him, and that’s probably why the two of them always turned to one another in the end.

Dimitri turned to Claude more frequently than the opposite, however, not that it bothered either of them. Dimitri didn’t mind being open and blunt about his feelings with Claude, trusting that his friend would never take advantage of his weak moments like that. Claude himself always seemed to have a lot on his mind, but rarely shared much, even with Dimitri. The latter suspected that it was because Claude didn’t trust him, and despite being heartbreaking, it was understandable.

Claude was, after all, the heir to the most powerful mafia on their side of the world.

It was difficult to fathom when Dimitri looked at Claude, studying the selfies he periodically sent him and trying to figure out which part of the joyful boy under the dog-ear filter was actually the mob boss in the making. Claude’s innocent appearance truly belied his competence- blessed with an IQ just below 140 and near-flawless eidetic memory, Claude had learned from very early on the power of charisma and pretty words. He was a schemer through and through, always with some ulterior motive, always with some hidden plan, which made him simultaneously awe-inspiring and fearsome. On top of his impressive intelligence, he was also a great marksman, having proudly logged his first solo assassination at the tender age of 14. Dimitri was there with him when he retold the story several times, lying on his stomach on the tattoo artist’s bench while the Golden Deer’s traditional coming-of-age tattoo was etched into the skin of his entire back.

Dimitri was also there when, that same night, Claude rolled off his sore back and cried against him instead. He said that the ink felt less like gold and more like lead, his own body now an inescapable reminder of his predestined purpose.

And it was because of moments like that one that Dimitri felt simultaneously humbled and terrified of being Claude’s friend. He didn’t see him often, and even their texts were far and few in between sometimes, but Dimitri associated such familiarity with the thought of Claude that there was no doubt about their relationship. Beyond business partners, beyond allies in the making, they were friends and loved one another as such.

And then, in a split-second on a bright spring day, Dimitri lost him, and he lost everything.

He was eighteen, and back home in Fhirdiad, nursing a nasty bout of influenza that had prevented him from accompanying his father and stepmother to Derdriu. In light of Edelgard’s father suddenly upping his imports of heavy-duty firearms into the country, Lambert had wanted to meet with the Golden Deer to renegotiate their alliance. Dimitri’s future right-hand man, Glenn Fraldarius, had gone with the party to gain experience in negotiation talks, but Dimitri had been told to stay behind as not to expose a weak front to the public and their allies.

The last text he ever sent Claude was an apology. The last text he ever got from Claude was a peace-sign emoji.

And then, Rodrigue came bursting into his room, talking rapid-fire about a bomb, all of downtown Derdriu razed, of collapsing buildings and a city on fire, of the dead- Dimitri’s father, stepmother, Glenn-

Claude-

Dimitri was eighteen, and sick with the flu that saved his life, and as he drowned in his wails of anguish and grief, he was suddenly crowned an unwilling ruler of a kingdom that waited on no dead men.

…-…-…-…

The Leicester province fell nearly overnight after an attack that was immediately presumed to have been the Black Eagles’ doing. While the initial detonations killed hundreds of important officials and members of society associated with the mafia, the reverberations of those deaths spread across the entire province like a plague. Within a week, important companies had been left with no heads, public services had stopped, governing bodies had gone mad trying to find replacements, all whilst the people built up resentment. The Golden Deer occupied a position very much like a double-edged sword; they had successfully infiltrated all of Leicester’s high-ranking positions and essentially had control over the entire territory, but that also meant that a single strike, like the fall of Derdriu, was enough to take them down.

It did not take long for the precarious government to lose control, and for the people to rise up instead. Within three months, all of Leicester was officially in civil war.

Though Dimitri had been born and raised to inherit his father’s position as leader of the mafia, he was much too young and inexperienced still. There had never been doubt that Lambert would hold his position for at least a decade longer, and so Dimitri, although diligent in his studies, had never been in a rush to take his father’s place.

Now, however, he found himself spending sleepless nights reading contracts and answering angry e-mails and ordering men around on tasks he barely understood. His legal business took a dive for it, which put the entirety of the Lions in danger when more and more police inquiries came through. Plenty of money was spent quieting people when some of the fraud schemes came to light. His father’s trade partners began to back out when they realized that his son wasn’t nearly as competent. With laxer security, drug runners began to make off into the night with their packages, netting a mounting deficit on the mafia’s profits.

For a while, it truly seemed like the end of the Blue Lions, all perched upon the shoulders of its young leader, who, whilst drowning in his father’s legacy, never even had time to mourn the ones he loved and lost.

Somehow, though, with the help of his father’s high-ranked loyalists like Rodrigue Fraldarius and Gilbert Dominic, Dimitri barely managed to stay afloat and hold the fraying edges of his father’s kingdom together. The psychological strain visibly wore him down, but despite the worry of his remaining friends and men, he managed to power through until something changed.

When he was nineteen years old, something in him broke, and that was the change that ushered in a new era of war for the Blue Lions.

It wasn’t anything dramatic. Dimitri woke up one winter morning, hunched over his desk again with paper creases on his cheek, and all at once, he felt overwhelmed by how much work he still had to catch up on. His mind swam with sleep deprivation and stress and he was suddenly afraid to turn around, feeling like his father stood behind him, judging him, watching him, disapproving.

He imagined, that next to his father, his stepmother would also be standing, disappointed that she was never able to raise a perfect son. Glenn would be there, too, regretting ever taking up his position as right-hand man to an incompetent boss.

And he imagined Claude, in all his radiant glory, arms crossed and an uncharacteristically sad expression on his face, waiting for Dimitri to turn around to look him in the eye and ask him why he had not been enough.

 _“Why weren’t you there for me?”_ Dimitri could nearly hear his quiet voice in the air in the dead silence permeating his office. Tears sprung to his eyes immediately when he realized how much he’d missed him. _“Why aren’t you doing anything?”_

And Dimitri cried, cried, cried, because he couldn’t take it anymore- he couldn’t take the isolation and the weight of the burdens thrust upon him, he couldn’t take the loss of the ones he’d loved so dearly without being given a chance to breathe, let alone grieve.

Rodrigue found him that morning, eyes rimmed red telltale of tears, but not a single trace of sorrow on his expression. In a tone more aggressive than anything the older man had ever heard before, Dimitri then declared war on the Black Eagles, and promised Rodrigue that for the sake of those he’d let down, he would not spare any effort.

He didn’t think of his family, nor of Claude anymore after that. His efforts solely focused on his blind quest for vengeance, Dimitri became ruthless and unforgiving in the way he operated his illegal business. He killed his own men when they committed treason. He brought his Desert Eagle to business meetings and left it in plain sight. He blackmailed Faerghus officials with threats on their families. He contracted hitmen to take out international targets to draw business partners in from overseas.

He personally sent Edelgard’s father, Ionius, the ring finger of the Eagles’ right-hand man, and started a country-wide conflict that lasted for years.

And although war naturally begets violence, there was something inhumane, nearly beastly about the way that Dimitri operated during those years. Merciless, he struck down anyone who stood in his way, and with a front of strength and ambition, he was able to build the Blue Lions back up, not only to their previous position of power but even past it. Taking advantage of the chaos of civil conflict raging across the three provinces of Fódlan, he was able to put his foot into so many of Faerghus’ sectors of function that he nearly had influence over the province’s governance itself.

His own men were the ones who began to call him the ‘Prince of Faerghus’ at the impressive age of 21, and the title stuck when it began to pass in fearful whispers on the lips of his enemies.

The conflict seemed to have no end in sight, Dimitri leading an indiscriminatory assault against the Black Eagles in the name of revenge, and Edelgard, having taken her father’s place as the ‘Adrestian Emperor’, retaliating with no holds barred. It was only on the fifth year of the conflict that an unlikely savior appeared, bringing with him the information that would eventually end the war.

His name was Byleth Eisner, an agent of national intelligence operating out of the Garreg Mach city-state, whose assignment was the five-year investigation of a fourth group of organized crime who were the true perpetrators of the tragedy in Derdriu. The man was unshakeable, and Dimitri knew that when he simply waltzed into Dimitri’s office one day, having disarmed and disabled all of his security personnel, including Felix, and his primary bodyguard Dedue.

It was a difficult conversation to have, one that nearly ended in a gunfight when Byleth told Dimitri that he’d been waging the wrong war for five years. Still, all of Byleth’s evidence pointed to the truth, and begrudgingly, Dimitri began to accept that the Black Eagles may not have been the ones who murdered his entire family. The mindset of anger and revenge, however, was one that was difficult to let go of, even when presented with rationality. Byleth had done his best to convince both Edelgard and Dimitri to look at the bigger picture, but words were not enough to quell the conflict almost half a decade in the making. At best, he was able to settle a frail ceasefire between the two, just until he could come up with better evidence to support his claims.

The best evidence he could have provided to Dimitri emerged during that ceasefire, and ended the five-year war within weeks.

Dimitri was in Garreg Mach City to begrudgingly celebrate the Millennium Festival at the time, and was woken up with shocking news the morning after, when Felix burst into his penthouse condo with Annette Dominic, their most skilled computer programmer, talking rapidly on his cellphone. 

“There’s an urgent ‘dead or alive’ out for Claude on the dark web,” she announced breathlessly, and Dimitri’s veins turned to ice. “Posted three hours ago, with a reward of 2 million if dead, double if alive.”

“Who ordered it?” Dimitri barked out, rolling out of bed and getting dressed under Felix’s grave gaze.

“I don’t recognize the signature, so it’s likely not an Eagle hacker,” Annette answered. “It has an ex-Leicester IP address, but I can’t track it, so I can’t tell.”

“Could it possibly be that group that Agent Eisner spoke about?” Felix asked, putting his hand over the receiver to mute his words from Annette. “Maybe he was telling the truth, and we’ve been fighting this stupid war against the Eagles for nothing.”

“Felix, not now,” Dimitri growled, throwing on his coat and tying up his hair. “Annette.” Taking the phone from Felix, he put it to his ear as he swept his favourite firearm off the kitchen counter and handed it to him instead. “Get on Claude. Track him down. Any information will help; CCTV feeds, sightings, hitmen movements, anything.”

“I’m on it, Boss,” Annette assured him, and hung up. Dimitri handed back Felix’s phone, instead getting his Desert Eagle in its holster thrust back at him.

“So, what now?” Felix grunted, walking next to Dimitri as they headed out of the condo briskly.

“We find him.” Clenching his teeth, Dimitri tried to swallow all of his emotions, some of which he hadn’t felt in all the years he’d elected not to think about his lost loved ones. “Whether this is a sick joke or not, whether this is my Claude or not, I must do all I can to find him. I will not stand idle and let him die once more.”

“Claude’s been dead for five years,” Felix said matter-of-factly, watching Dimitri’s reaction. “Who’s to say this isn’t a trap? Because it’s clearly working, if it is.”

“If that is the case, I shall walk straight into the trap and annihilate any who come at me.” Entering the elevator, he waited for the door to close behind them to continue. “Any who stand in my way will be crushed, whether they are my own or not.”

“Spoken like the monster that you are,” Felix snorted humourlessly, glaring at Dimitri. “One day, you’re going to be your own undoing. There can’t be a prince without subjects, and when you say things like that, you’re not doing yourself any favours.”

“Perhaps not,” Dimitri acknowledged solemnly, although his eyes never lost their steel. He secured his firearm on his belt, and then buttoned up his coat over it. “But who’s to say that I would want to rule in the first place?”

The doors opened, and the two of them strode out, towards the entrance to Dimitri’s lavish condominium tower. The doorman bowed low as they exited, Felix wrapping his scarf tightly around his neck as the chill of the morning hit their skin. His car had been stalled in the entrance, so they stopped next to it to wrap up the conversation.

“Let’s meet at the office in an hour. I would like to keep it subtle for now, so let’s involve the least possible amount of people,” Dimitri instructed. “We would risk leaving a trail if too many of our men began the search. For now, call Sylvain and Ingrid, and tell them to meet with us. I will get Dedue and Ashe in. Your father is in Fhirdiad, so there is no use involving him now, since the search will likely lead us into ex-Leicester territory. We can divide our assets once everyone arrives, and then decide if we should involve more people or not.”

“Fine. I’ll see you in an hour.” With nothing more to say, Felix ducked into his car, and Dimitri stepped back to allow him to drive off. He watched him turn out of the condo entrance before letting out a large sigh that sat heavy in his chest.

“Would you like the valet to bring your car around, Mr. Blaiddyd?” the doorman asked as he approached, noticing that Dimitri was just standing still.

“There is no need,” he simply answered, turning around to walk towards the indoor garage, figuring that a walk in the crisp winter air would help clear his mind.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about the news he’d so suddenly received, acting on them even before he registered the implications of it all. Of course, rationally, Claude’s body had never been retrieved, unlike Dimitri’s parents’, which made his return a non-zero possibility. Still, for him to have gone completely off the grid for five years, especially as such a high-profile individual, made little sense. What had Claude wanted to achieve by faking his own death? Which part of the last five years had been part of one of his notorious schemes? Had Dimitri also played into his hand, driven by the madness of loss all this time?

His head ached. Still, he refused to feel angry at Claude. Not yet.

Not when all he still felt for him was warmth.

…-…-…-…

The meeting did not take long, and in the early afternoon, the Blue Lions had already been dispatched on their search. With very little information to go off of, they first all headed to Derdriu, to at least settle into ex-Leicester territory as a first step. Edelgard texted Dimitri as they arrived, the first text she’d sent in years, simply wishing him luck in ‘chasing him’.

Dimitri deleted the text without replying and turned his eyes to Derdriu instead.

The aquatic city, once so beautiful and flourishing, had never been returned to its former glory. Although the northwestern parts of Leicester had been annexed to Faerghus, the government had not put a lot of resources into refurbishing the city in light of the civil unrest that was happening across the country. Now, Derdriu had become a quiet, calm place, where little businesses and families made a living out of buildings that were still intact. In the winter, the water in the canals rose, but with very little maintenance by whatever authorities were left, the streets sometimes flooded, and made it seem like the city itself would sink soon enough.

It was desolate and heartbreaking, and Dimitri tried not to think too hard about all the fond memories he had of visiting Claude in this place as kids.

They set up base in a small hotel, renting out a whole floor and buying the scarce staff’s silence when it became obvious that they were sticking out like sore thumbs. Secrecy was of the utmost importance on this task, because they could not risk detection by whoever it was that had set the bounty over Claude’s head. Back home in Fhirdiad with all of her equipment, Annette continuously updated them with the little information she came across, and it seemed like, for now, the manhunt was still ongoing, with no party having the upper hand.

“I’m running a facial feature recognition algorithm on all the available CCTV footage across the province,” she had said to Dimitri over the phone as the Lions settled into their individual rooms. “There will be two problems with that, though. One, the most recent picture I have of him is from five years ago. Therefore, if his face has changed a lot, I won’t be able to find him. Two, well… Leicester was a big place. There’s several terabytes’ worth of footage to go through, and with every passing hour, there are tons more. I’m not sure we’ll be able to catch up to him, even if I do hit a match.”

Dimitri was not looking to catch up just yet, though. All he needed right now was a lead, just one sign that this was all real, that Claude really was out there somewhere.

Annette gave them their first lead as they finished settling down, citing a possible match from hours beforehand with a gas station CCTV in northern Ordelia territory. It was a vague lead, so Dimitri elected to send Ashe, whose skill at tracking his targets was nearly unparalleled amongst the Blue Lions.

In the two hours it took for Ashe to drive there, Dimitri busied himself elsewhere, trying to keep his mind off of Claude as not to worry about the situation too much. It would be difficult to anticipate his movements, anyway, as Claude had a mind that worked completely differently than most. Although the simplest move would be for him to return to Derdriu, Dimitri wasn’t convinced that Claude would do something so predictable, especially on the off-chance that he knew he was being pursued.

They could only wait for Ashe’s report.

Midway through the afternoon, Ashe called Felix, who relayed the call to Dimitri by putting him on speaker.

“The gas station attendant said that someone matching Claude’s description had been hanging around in the parking lot very early this morning. He never came in, so she never got a good look at him, but he was there for a couple of hours before someone who stopped for gas took him into his car and left, heading east. He seemed to go willingly, apparently,” he explained. “I don’t have clear footage of the car’s license plate, however.”

“What did it look like?” Dimitri asked, motioning for Felix to note it down.

“It looks like a Corolla, relatively new model, silver. The attendant saw the driver when he came in to pay, and describes him as a middle-aged businessman, about 5 foot 9 and a bit overweight, short dark brown hair and brown eyes, pale skin and nonspecific features, but his accent was heavily of Enbarr. Should I check more security camera footage?”

“No. Follow the road east and stop everywhere to see if they may have halted there,” Dimitri ordered. “We will find the owner of this car and call him for information, in the meantime.”

“I’m on it, Boss!” Ashe assured him, and hung up. When he did, Dimitri turned to Felix, who was completing his notes.

“I’ll get Sylvain to find this guy,” he offered without even waiting for Dimitri to say it first. “There shouldn’t be too much security to go through for car ownership information, so we don’t need Annette to do this too.”

“Good,” Dimitri nodded, watching as Felix headed for the door to go drop the information off with his boyfriend next door. A strong emotion reared its head as he watched his right hand’s back move away from him, straight and squared and ready for anything.

Dimitri really wouldn’t have been able to accomplish anything without the men and women who supported him through his ascension to power.

“Felix,” he called out just as the latter opened the door. “Thank you.”

“Whatever,” Felix simply huffed, stepping out. “Thank me when we find him, instead.”

That sounded like a plan, and one that Dimitri could cling onto hopefully.

It only the plan didn’t involve waiting so much while Claude’s life was on the line- again.

…-…-…-…

It truly wasn’t as straightforward as expected, although with it being Claude, Dimitri should’ve seen it coming.

What was supposed to be a one-day operation turned into two, and then three. Forced away from his position for much longer than first accounted for, Dimitri had gotten Rodrigue involved distantly, as to cover him while he was gone. The others, with lives and work of their own, also had to pull strings as not to arouse suspicion about their absence. All in all, as time passed, the operation became more and more dangerous for everyone involved, with not much to show for it.

“This seems like a dead end as well,” Ingrid sighed, downing her fifth coffee of the night and closing the tabs on her laptop. “The man spotted had brown eyes, and looked a bit older than expected. It’s not him.”

“Maybe he put coloured contacts in,” Sylvain suggested from where he was lying down on the hotel bed, yawning loudly.

“Unlikely,” Ingrid shook her head, glancing at Dimitri by the windowpane for approval. “He’s been on the run for days now, seen wearing the same clothes. I doubt he suddenly created contact lenses out of thin air.”

“It was just a thought…” Sylvain mumbled, already dozing off. “My brain’s fried, I can’t do better.”

“Where is Felix?” Dimitri asked, cutting them off as he turned away from the window. “Is he still on the road?”

“Last time he texted me, he was stopped in western Gloucester territory to refuel,” Sylvain answered, picking up his phone to check his texts. “Which was an hour ago. Either he dozed off in the parking lot, then, or he’ll be here soon.”

“You may turn in for the night, then,” Dimitri sighed, feeling his head also weighing him down. “There’s not much else that can be done for now.”

“What about Dedue? Did his lead go anywhere?” Ingrid asked, clapping her laptop shut.

“No. The woman who was seen heading off with Claude at the roadside restaurant apparently only paid him a meal and left him there.” There was more to the story, more details that Dedue had reluctantly given Dimitri over the phone, and details that Dimitri had fervently chosen not to share with the others for the sake of Claude’s dignity. “He should spend the night in Daphnel territory and be back in the morning.”

“Annette hasn’t found anything new either, huh?” Sylvain asked in a sigh, rolling over tiredly. “Man, if Claude really doesn’t want to be found…”

“We will find him regardless,” Dimitri sharply stopped him before he could go any further with that sentence. “Whatever his plan is, he clearly knows he is being pursued, and is trying to throw people off. We simply must anticipate his moves instead of chasing after him.”

“Easier said than done with the ex-heir to the Golden Deer,” Sylvain muttered, bundling himself up in his covers. “Alright, I’m beat. I’m gonna catch a few hours before we have to re-do all of this all over again.”

“I’ll turn in as well, Boss,” Ingrid decided, grabbing her equipment and going for the door. Dimitri nodded, following her.

“Right…” He, too, felt weariness and a tiny lull of hopelessness dragging him down as he walked. “Rest well, both of you. Hopefully this chase will come to a close soon.”

When he crashed into bed that night, despite having so much on his mind, Dimitri near-instantly fell asleep. He did not dream, but when he woke, he thought he heard the chime of Claude’s laughter dissipating in the air.

It gave him the strength to push himself out of bed, and begin searching for the fourth day in a row.

Claude’s movements really seemed to have no rhyme or reason to them. If Dimitri didn’t know better, he would go as far as to say that he was lost, constantly backtracking and heading in different directions, appearing in several parts of the province during the course of the same day. He didn’t seem to be doing anything, either- simply moving around. It was definitely suspicious. Annette’s next lead pointed to Claude having hitched a ride on the road connecting southern Goneril territory and Daphnel territory, so Dimitri sent Sylvain to investigate.

Less than an hour later, Annette called Felix back urgently, saying that a picture of Claude had been posted on dark web forums, having been taken in a crowd in a traditional market at Fódlan’s Locket. She forwarded the picture to Felix for him to show to Dimitri.

“He might be trying to escape to Almyra to lose his pursuers,” she mused out loud as Dimitri inspected the picture.

It was of high quality, having been taken with a cellphone. On it, Dimitri could finally confirm that the man they’d been chasing was Claude, without a doubt. He looked exactly the same as five years prior, as if he’d been asleep instead of presumed dead. However, despite his timeless appearance, there was something off about him, something that Dimitri could tell because he’d spent such a large part of his life alongside Claude.

The look in his eyes was not right, for one. Usually sharp and focused, Claude’s green eyes looked droopy and dazed, gazing off into the distance without a hint of their usual twinkle in them. He looked exhausted, dark circles pulling his eyelids down and contrasting with his tan skin, much paler than Dimitri ever recalled him being in his entire life. His hair looked dirty and his locks matted, the little braid on the side of his face half-undone. He wore a loose long-sleeved top that might’ve been elegant, were it not stained and wrinkled, and had a large shawl wrapped around him, clutching it tightly as if he was cold. Dimitri thought it strange, because even at this time of year, Fódlan’s Locket was still temperate, and Claude was never the chilly kind.

Unless Claude was playing the part of someone completely unkempt in an attempt to camouflage his image, Dimitri could never fathom him looking so disheveled.

“I will send Ingrid to the Locket,” he decided, handing the phone back to Felix. “She is the least recognizable of us, and surely, with this post, there will be bounty hunters and hitmen flocking towards the Locket.”

Still, something about the two simultaneous leads didn’t quite sit right with Dimitri. Claude was playing at something, and Dimitri couldn’t say what.

Later on in the day, both Sylvain and Ingrid called Felix back with unfavourable news.

“I asked all of the borders guards if Claude had gone through,” Ingrid informed him first. “One of them says he did. He even told me that the man I was describing was named Claude. So I think he might be in Almyra by now.”

“As for my lead, I followed the security camera footage, and I couldn’t make sure that the passenger was Claude, but the man was definitely carrying a passenger on the first half of the trip, and then no passenger through the second half of Gloucester territory,” Sylvain reported afterwards. “There’s nothing on that road, though, not a single pit stop, not a single village- nothing. If that was Claude, then he’s lost somewhere in the Leicester wilderness now.”

“Well, he can’t be in both places at once, so one of them has to be wrong,” Felix gruffly retorted. “It makes more sense for him to have crossed to Almyra than have wandered around in the woods during winter.”

“If he is in Almyra, however, it’s no longer in my power to chase him,” Dimitri bit his lip pensively. “I would have to get my Almyran partners involved, which would cast a spotlight on the Blue Lions instantly. I would rather look into the second lead first, and only resort to my international partners if that one falls flat.”

“That’s fair,” Sylvain agreed over the conference call. “So do you want me to drive the same road and see if I can’t find anything?”

“Yes, do that, and I will get Ashe to track down the car owner for Dedue to question in the meantime. Ingrid, you may come back to Derdriu,” Dimitri said, letting Felix finish the conference call with their closest friends and instead heading to the side to call Ashe with his instructions.

On the evening of the fourth day of searching, Dedue finally called back with definite news. When Dimitri’s phone rang, he knew it was Dedue, because his bodyguard was one of the rare handful of people in the country who actually knew his phone number. He picked up apprehensively.

“I have interrogated the man who was driving the vehicle carrying Claude earlier today,” Dedue announced gravely, not sounding particularly satisfied. “He confirmed that he picked Claude up on southern Goneril territory, and was asked to drive him to Daphnel in exchange for sexual favours. However, this afternoon, around 3PM, as they were driving through an empty stretch midway into Gloucester territory, Claude seemingly had a seizure in the passenger seat. The man stopped the car to help, but the seizure did not seem to be stopping after several minutes, so he panicked and tossed Claude into the ditch before driving off.”

“Goddess…” Dimitri breathed in sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose to try and contain the anger that surged within him at the new information. “What kind of person would do that to another human being…?”

“There are much worse people out there, Sir,” Dedue simply replied, knowing. “What are my orders now?”

“I will be sending everyone out to search the area. Get the exact drop off location and text it to me before heading there.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Before you go, Dedue,” Dimitri continued, his teeth clenched indignantly. “Make sure that this man knows that he and his family are on my personal watch.”

“Of course, Sir,” Dedue answered, unfazed, and hung up.

Dimitri took a moment to collect himself and tamp down the anger threatening to overtake him. He took a few deep breaths, and then called Felix.

“Gather everyone,” he ordered sharply even before either of them greeted the other. “It seems like Claude is lost in the wilderness after all.”

…-…-…-…

Despite searching night and day for Claude- or his body, at the very least-, Dimitri did not manage to find him. His ideas were running out and so was his patience, and Dedue had to warn him several times not to do something as rash as mobilize all their men for a massive sweep of the territory, discretion be damned. Most of all, however, Dimitri was worried. The more information came to light about Claude’s condition, the least he was convinced that he was as put-together as he used to be. Something terrible had happened to Claude, and he was now running from it, and running from Dimitri at the same time.

It was midway through the sixth day of searching that Dimitri hit the last straw, exhausted and out of ideas. His people were all running on very little sleep and ridiculous amounts of caffeine, and they wouldn’t last much longer like this, either. Something had to break, but Dimitri had no idea how to make it happen.

He needed help, and only from someone who’d never turn against him. He picked up his phone and dialed a number that he’d only recently learned by heart.

The man picked up on the second ring, sounding totally unfazed.

“Hello.”

“Agent Eisner,” Dimitri began, swallowing heavily. Enlisting the help of his fellow dwellers of the underworld was one thing, and getting help from a government agent was a whole other thing. He was taking a huge gamble like this, with nothing left to lose. “This is Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. Could I ask that you spare me a moment?”

“Sure,” Byleth answered with neither hesitation nor urgency. “Just one second.” His voice became muffled, as if he’d turned away from the receiver. “I’ll be right back, dad. Official business.”

Dimitri idly wondered what Byleth Eisner’s father looked like. A man who’d raised a legend could be no less of a legend himself.

“Alright, tell me,” Byleth finally said, his voice filtering clearly through the phone.

“There is a situation that I need your opinion on,” Dimitri began, careful with his words. “Do you know who Claude Riegan was- is?”

“Heir to the Leicester province’s Golden Deer mafia, incredibly intelligent, cunning and skilled from a young age, predicted to be one of the most powerful people in the world by the age of 25,” Byleth recited, sounding bored. “Died alongside his entire family in the tragedy of Derdriu perpetrated by Those Who Slither In The Dark five years prior.”

“He hasn’t died, Agent.” Just saying it once more made Dimitri’s throat dry up with emotion. “In fact, he has been back for six days now, on the run from whoever put a price on his head on the dark web.”

“That’s interesting.” Byleth didn’t sound very interested, but for having met the man, Dimitri knew he was invested in this new information. “I suppose you are already tracking him?”

“We have been tracking his movements across the ex-provincial territories, but there does not seem to be any rhyme or reason behind them. He’s simply very elusive,” Dimitri admitted, sighing. “Claude has always been a schemer, with convoluted plans that have layers upon layers of deceit woven through them. A small elite group of mine has been on it, but we have lost his trail since two days ago, with not a single new lead coming up since. He has managed to erase his tracks as to have disappeared into the ex-Leicester wilderness.”

“I see. What else can you tell me?”

“He does not look good,” Dimitri answered without skipping a beat. “The chase looks like it wore him down when he was last seen. Something is terribly wrong, but he hasn’t given up trying to hide from everyone on his heels, including me. We have been combing the northern Gloucester countryside for two days now, with no sign of him, and at this point, I am afraid it might be too late.”

He paused, letting Byleth integrate the information, although it felt like he still hadn’t said enough.

“He might be ill,” he finally added, hating how his voice felt a little weaker. “Very, very ill. And I am afraid that if I do not find him now, I will never get a third chance.”

“Dimitri,” Byleth began finally, sounding pensive. “I only know Claude Riegan in theory, but enlighten me as to the kind of person that he really is. If you had to choose one word to describe the most basic, straightforward aspect of Claude’s person, what would it be? What word would express what he is at the very base of his existence?”

“Schemer,” Dimitri answered without skipping a beat, remembering how Claude never seemed to have anything straightforward about him. “There exists no more accurate word to describe him.”

“I believe, then, that this is exactly what he wants everyone to think,” Byleth continued, unfazed. “He must be aware of his reputation, and must be aware that everyone chasing him has some knowledge of his psychological profile. However, there is something that everyone is overlooking, even yourself.”

“And what would that be?” Dimitri tried not to feel offended by Byleth’s bold claim that he didn’t know his own childhood friend better than a stranger.

“The word that describes his existence in its most basic state is ‘human’, Dimitri,” Byleth answered, saying Dimitri’s name heavily as if it were a punchline. Indeed, something clicked inside of Dimitri, something heavy and tasting of realization sitting on his tongue.

Byleth was right.

“He’s been throwing off his trail by making his pursuers think that he is manipulating them,” Byleth continued in Dimitri’s silence, his words weighed and ringing true. “But he’s unwell, lost, likely scared and alone. There is no scheme at play here, Dimitri. Claude is probably in the most straightforward place you can think of.”

“Thank you, Agent,” Dimitri breathed out heavily, his heart beginning to beat faster when he realized that Byleth was completely right. Dimitri had been overlooking something major, the only advantage that he had over Claude’s pursuers- his intimate knowledge of his personality. “I do not have a single second left to waste anymore.”

“Go find him.” Byleth sounded like he was smiling, even though Dimitri could not fathom the emotionless man ever smiling. “And when you do, no matter what he’s become, don’t let him go.”

“I won’t,” Dimitri promised breathlessly. “Thank you.”

Byleth hung up without another word, and Dimitri snapped himself out of his daze to call Felix instead.

“Get everyone back to Derdriu,” he ordered without hesitation. “Sweep every place that Claude frequently used to spend time in; his apartment, his family’s mansion, his father’s law firm, his business fronts, everywhere.”

And while Felix arranged it all, Dimitri sat back in his chair with his head in his hands, and wondered how he could have been so blind from the start.

Claude was just within his grasp now, far away from the people who wanted harm done to him. The only race he led now was that one against time- hoping that Claude’s life didn’t depend precariously on mere hours.

…-…-…-…

Ingrid found him in the end, just as the sky began to darken.

It was a very frantic phone call that she had with Dimitri, asking him to hurry and get to the old Verdant Wind Law Firm building where she had found Claude, huddled in between two parts of a broken wall. The smartest course of action would have been to extract him and take him to Dimitri in the hotel, as to avoid Dimitri showing his face in public and tipping off anyone that might be watching. However, no one expected Dimitri to wait for a second longer, which is why nobody stopped him when he hung up with Ingrid and stormed right out of his hotel room.

With Dedue and Felix also on the way, Dimitri sped down the empty streets of Derdriu, down a road that seemed familiar from another lifetime. The law firm, once standing so tall and proud, had been reduced to a pile of rubble after the bombs had torn the building apart, and the city had simply put a fence around it to limit access to it, without any intention of tearing it down. Dimitri felt something painful choke him up at the sight of the crumbled tower, knowing that this was his parents’ final resting place, and that it would be the place where he would finally reclaim a piece of his past.

A piece that he undoubtedly held dear, although he never quite realized how dear it had been to him until he lost it.

He parked his car haphazardly on the sidewalk, noting that Ingrid had parked hers just out of plain sight around the corner, and went for the fence. The swinging door had been left open, the flimsy lock on the ground, and Dimitri’s rapid footsteps left tracks in the thin layer of snow dusting the ground. Derdriu had mild winters, so the chill didn’t bother Dimitri, but there was a cold beyond that of the weather that settled in his bones as he ducked under a broken beam to enter the remnants of the building.

“Ingrid?” he called out, sharply gazing around him and inspecting the ash-covered furniture, shoes crunching on fragments of shattered glass.

“I’m here!” Ingrid’s voice came from Dimitri’s left, and he immediately switched directions, rapidly circling pieces of rubble and overturned desks to join her.

She came within sight when Dimitri rounded a tight corner between two collapsed walls, and the first thing that he noticed was the person curled up on her lap, trembling.

“Claude,” he finally breathed a sigh of relief, and dropped to his knees next to them, removing his coat. The object of his attention made no move to acknowledge him, eyes tightly shut and complexion pale, looking every bit as sick as he looked on the last picture that Dimitri had seen of him, if not sicker.

“Thank the Goddess that you’re here, Boss,” Ingrid also breathed out, readjusting Claude’s curled up body on her knees as to pillow his head against her stomach. She had draped her jacket over Claude’s shoulders, bundling him down to his waist, and Dimitri settled his heavy peacoat over his legs to cover the rest of him. “He just had a seizure and threw up, and he hasn’t regained consciousness yet. He only said a few words to me when I arrived, and none of them really made sense.”

“What happened?” Dimitri asked, watching as Claude’s eyelashes fluttered weakly, his entire body shivering and teeth clattering softly in the silence.

“I don’t know,” Ingrid shook her head, worriedly smoothing her hand through Claude’s dirty hair. “I found him curled up here and called Felix immediately. He was really cold, so I gave him my coat and tried to talk to him, but he seemed really out of it. He may have said a few names, including yours, but I couldn’t understand most of what he said. All of a sudden, he lied himself down, went stiff, and had a seizure. When it was done, he threw up, and he’s only just waking up from it.”

“Claude?” Dimitri called worriedly, not knowing where to start with all the information thrown at him. “Are you awake?”

It seemed like such a surreal question to be asking a man who had been presumed dead for five years.

“Give him to me.” Dimitri opened his arms, and Ingrid unhesitatingly moved Claude off her knees, murmuring gently to him as she manipulated his stiff limbs against Dimitri instead. The latter gathered him into his lap securely before vigorously beginning to rub heat back into his ice-cold arms and legs. Underneath the two jackets draped over him, he wore the same loose shirt he’d worn at the Locket, pants that cut off below his knees and slush-soaked boots that probably did nothing to keep his feet warm. The shawl around his shoulders was the only piece of his clothing that looked remotely warm, and pieces of the puzzle slowly began to slot themselves together into Dimitri’s brain.

“What now?” Ingrid asked nervously, readjusting the coats over Claude and pressing her hands to his pale cheeks to warm his face up a bit.

“Felix and Dedue are on the way,” Dimitri answered, continuing to create friction heat until his arms hurt. “He needs urgent medical attention before anything else, so I’ll have Mercedes get ready to receive him in Fhirdiad.”

“Haven’t… been to Fhi-Fhirdiad… in a while,” Claude suddenly muttered, the clattering of his teeth interrupting his first words to Dimitri. “Not as c-cold as Der… driu, hopefu-fully.”

“Claude,” Dimitri rushed to gather him back up in his arms, eyes wide and disbelieving as his friend finally opened his eyes, slowly, as if afraid of what he would see. Their gazes met, however, and Dimitri was treated to the sight of a weak, but genuine upturn of Claude’s bloodless lips.

“Hi, Dima,” he greeted with a short, huffed laugh, possibly breathless with disbelief. “Long time no s-see.”

“Claude, what happened to you?” Dimitri asked immediately, not wasting a single second in getting the answers he so desperately needed. “How did you get here?”

“Ran,” Claude answered briefly, as if it was that simple.

“But how?” Dimitri pushed on, now gentler in his attempts to heat Claude back up. “We’ve been chasing you across Leicester for almost a week now, and you’ve never allowed yourself to get caught. Why? How?”

“Moments of cla-clarity,” Claude replied unclearly. “Had to… throw off Tha-Thales. Zig-zag trail, then dis-dis-appeared. Hopefully to Almy-myra.”

“How?” Dimitri repeated once more, feeling like he was getting only more questions rather than answers.

“Border guard’s’re easy to convince,” he laughed, as if the whole ordeal was hilarious. “I give g-great handj-jobs.”

“Oh gods,” Ingrid murmured under her breath, seemingly also realizing many things all at once. She seemed a bit pale herself as she stood up, legs shaking from having knelt for so long. “I, uhh… If it’s alright with you, Boss, I’ll go to the main road to get Felix and Dedue in here. I think… you two should talk.”

“That’s fine. Thank you, Ingrid,” Dimitri nodded to her before turning back to Claude. “Truly.”

Ingrid just nodded, and, unbothered by her state of undress, nearly jogged out of the area, leaving the two of them behind.

“How did you end up in Derdriu at the same time?” Dimitri continued once she was gone. If his grip tightened on Claude, neither of them said anything about it.

“Guy outside the Lock-ket gave me a r-ride to Daphnel. Banked on him not giving a sh-shit about a cheap whore, faked a s-seizure when I saw the s-signs for Derdriu, and got him to leave m-me in the forest,” Claude explained, seeming much too self-satisfied for the amount of loaded information he was dropping so casually on someone who looked increasingly horrified to hear him talk. “Trail… Trail erased. Then, I wa-walked to Derdriu.”

“Sothis…” Dimitri swore softly, looping his arms around Claude’s neck to bury his head against his chest. He wasn’t small by any means, but at this moment, in this vulnerable state, felt tiny enough for Dimitri to break him if he wasn’t careful. “Claude… Words cannot express how relieved I am to have found you.”

“Ditto.” Claude’s shoulders shook with something like a chuckle, although it felt much too sad to be one.

“Who were you running from?” Dimitri finally asked, drawing back just enough to lock gazes with Claude again. He was taken aback to see Claude’s easy expression morph into something panicked, just before the latter broke eye contact to look away.

“No one.”

“You said a name,” Dimitri pushed slightly. “Tell me who these people are, and I will annihilate them.”

“No,” Claude insisted firmly, visibly clenching his jaw. “Enough.”

“Claude,” Dimitri growled, his grip near-painful on his friend. “I’ll kill them all. Just tell me, and I won’t spare a single one.”

“I said n-no!” Claude’s voice broke, high-pitched, drawing a series of wet coughs from the depths of his lungs that shook his entire body violently. When he was done, he fell bonelessly against Dimitri, exhausted. “Please… P-please, enough…”

“I want to make them pay for doing this to you,” Dimitri tried to explain, caressing his arm in what he hoped was a motion of comfort. “You look terrible. If these people have mistreated you for five years, then I cannot allow them to go unpunished.”

“What?” Claude suddenly stiffened in Dimitri’s arms, turning to look at him with his eyes wide, blatant shock painted across his features. Dimitri, too, was thrown off by how lost he looked for a moment. “What did you say?”

“If they mistreated you for five years-”

“Five years?” Claude cut him off, voice strangled in his throat. “I’ve been… gone for five years?”

“… Yes.” Unsure if he should have asserted the truth, Dimitri watched as Claude went completely still before abruptly beginning to hyperventilate.

“F-Five years-” He clutched at Dimitri’s shirt, the jacket falling off his shoulders at the sudden movement. “We-We’re- I’m twenty-three? Five ye-years?”

“Claude, breathe,” Dimitri urged him, feeling panic welling up within him as well. He covered Claude’s hand twisted in his shirt with his own, but all he felt were the minute trembles of his entire body. “Breathe, it’ll be alright, I have you now.”

“Five years,” Claude repeated, losing his composure in an unprecedented manner. The tears accumulating in his eyes dripped down his cheeks, cold by the time Dimitri wiped them off, praying that backup would arrive soon. “Five years, f-five, with Th-Tha-Thal-” His voice broke completely before he even finished saying the same name as before, interrupted by a desperate sound that was not quite gasp, and not quite sob.

With that, Claude near-literally fell apart in Dimitri’s arms.

“F-Five,” he sobbed out, unable to squeeze more tears out of his dehydrated body. “All this time l-lost, and I remem- No, I can’t, I can’t, I don’t want to-” He cut himself off again, and Dimitri hushed him, at a complete loss of what to do.

“Alright, enough,” he said, hopefully as firmly as he thought he sounded, wishing he knew of a way to calm his hysteric friend down. “Enough, Claude, that’s enough. Breathe; you are safe with me, just breathe.”

“He took ev-everything from m-me,” Claude continued, his broken pieces seemingly slipping right through Dimitri’s hands. “Ev-Everything, Tha-Thales took everything. Please, I don’t want to remember, please-” His head suddenly lolled to the side, his last syllable slurring, and Dimitri’s heart skipped a beat. “Thal-les… every- five, f-ive years- Dima.” His words slurred near-incomprehensibly together, and he weakly turned to gaze at Dimitri’s wide, panicked eyes. “Go-Gonna-”

“Claude?” Dimitri weakly called out, but Claude’s only answer was to go completely rigid in Dimitri’s arms. Dimitri barely reacted fast enough to avoid getting hit as Claude’s limbs jerked, lying him hastily on the ground as the seizure began in his legs and moved upwards, into his upper body, and then his face.

Completely powerless and now fully terrified, Dimitri only managed to loosen the shawl around his neck before his own emotions got the best of him, and he sat back to watch Claude convulse. Time felt like it was stretching, then, and Dimitri wished he could do something else than just watch his friend suffer.

Thankfully, with excellent timing, Ingrid’s voice suddenly rang out from behind him, and Dimitri tore his gaze away from Claude for just a moment to watch his subordinates turn the corner. Relief like no other welled up in him as Felix and Dedue both appeared behind the young woman as well, rushing towards Claude when they saw him on the floor.

“What happened?” Felix snapped, tearing his scarf off of his neck and rolling it up, kneeling next to Claude’s head to slip the fabric under his skull, preventing him from hitting his head against the ground. “What did you do!?”

“I was just talking to him and he began to seize,” Dimitri answered, not intending to be patient with Felix’s antics in this critical moment. “Felix, call Mercedes, tell her to expect you. Claude needs emergency medical care, and we can’t risk his identity being leaked to the public.”

“Fine, I’ll drive him to Fhirdiad,” Felix nodded, on the same wavelength as his boss when it mattered the most, as usual. “I’ll take Ingrid and Sylvain, they’re the two best we’ve got right now to give him medical care in the back seat.”

“Agreed,” Dimitri nodded, turning to Dedue. “As for you and I, we will go back to Garreg Mach City with Ashe. I must make a few conspicuous public appearances as not to link myself with Claude’s presumed disappearance.”

“Understood,” Dedue diligently nodded.

“I will join you in Fhirdiad in a couple of days, as early as I can safely permit myself,” Dimitri informed them. “In the meantime, be sure that Claude is not spotted by a single person, whether they are ours of not.”

“I know, I know,” Felix huffed. “Stop worrying about Claude, I’ll take him. Go do whatever other things you need to do in the meantime.”

“Alright, let’s head out directly from here,” he turned to his bodyguard. “Tell Ashe to clean out the hotel before traveling back to Garreg Mach City. And have Sylvain be ready for pickup as soon as Felix leaves.”

“I will inform the two of them immediately,” Dedue acquiesced, pulling out his phone already.

“His seizures are stopping,” Ingrid indicated, drawing Dimitri’s attention back to Claude, who, indeed, had stopped convulsing. Only his right shoulder and part of his jaw were still visibly seizing, so Dimitri turned him effortlessly onto his side, just in time for Claude to retch. He made the effort several times before ceasing, not having anything left in him to throw up, and settled limply on the ground in his post-ictal state.

“I can take him to your car,” Dimitri volunteered, covering Claude with his and Ingrid’s jackets once more before gently gathering him in his arms. With some effort, he was able to push himself off the ground, with the other boy safely passed out against his chest.

“I’m parked behind you,” Felix indicated, already starting the car to begin heating it up. The four of them wordlessly set out, then, dodging the precariously collapsed parts of the building to exit to the now-dark evening sky. Some snow had accumulated on the ground, flakes gently wafting around in the breeze and perching themselves upon Claude’s eyelashes and melting against his pale skin. The delicate picture he painted in Dimitri’s arms was completely ruined by the anguish twisted into his unconscious expression.

There was so much left unanswered that Dimitri desperately wanted to know, but not if it would kill Claude in the process.

He’d only just gotten him back, and there was no way he would be letting him go ever again.

Fondness like no other swelled inside his heart as they reached Felix’s car, the latter opening the back seat to allow Ingrid to slip in first, and then moving to let Dimitri go through. For a second, as Ingrid opened her arms to receive Claude’s limp body in the back seat, Dimitri suddenly felt like calling it off. He suddenly felt like insisting that he’d go with Claude, that he’d be the one to hold him tight during the four-hour drive to Fhirdiad, that he’d be the first one Claude saw when he emerged from his post-ictal unconsciousness. The man in his arms felt too ephemeral, too volatile, and still too unreal for Dimitri to let go of him just yet.

He knew, however, despite the heaviness in his heart, that handing Claude over was the best plan for everyone. Claude needed to be seen by their highest-ranked doctor as soon as possible, and Dimitri’s only job now was to protect him by seamlessly covering up his presumed disappearance. If they could fake Claude’s death a second time and get him off the grid, the people who hurt him- Thales, the name that Claude couldn’t even bring himself to pronounce- would never get to him again.

With that conviction in his heart, Dimitri took a deep breath, and pressed his cheek to the top of Claude’s head, embracing his limp body tightly for a few last seconds.

“I promise to return for you,” he murmured, a private vow only between the two of them, and then, as his muscles began to strain, he relaxed, and ducked down to help Ingrid take Claude’s head into her lap.

“Drive carefully,” he wished them, glancing at Claude’s unconscious body one last time before closing the door, the tinted glass cutting off his sight.

“Stop acting like it’s the end of the world,” Felix rolled his eyes, circling to the driver’s seat. “He’ll be fine. We’ll all be. See you in Fhirdiad.”

“Right,” Dimitri muttered, and stood in his place until Felix pulled into the road, disappearing into the darkness of the winter evening.

Only then did he turn to Dedue, who was patiently waiting behind him for him to wrap up his moment of vulnerability in front of his most trusted associates.

Heart heavy with the difficult decision he’d just made, he steeled himself for the following few days, and with his princely persona easily slipping back into place, he whipped around to walk towards his car.

“I will meet you in Garreg Mach City,” he informed his bodyguard, opening his car door. “I think… I would fancy a drink or two tonight.”

“I will arrange for you to be accompanied, then, Sir,” Dedue bowed his head lightly. Dimitri waved to him before closing the door, starting up the black Stinger he usually drove to be a little less conspicuous than with his blue Shelby.

He pulled into the road and jetted off immediately, eager to make it to Garreg Mach City where, in the privacy of his secure locations, he’d be able to get updates on Claude.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t be stopped for speeding on the highway, nor be noticed on his way into the city. He usually wouldn’t care, but this time, all of his actions had a chance of reflecting on Claude’s safety, and that was one thing that Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, the boss of the Blue Lions mafia, the merciless ‘Prince of Faerghus’, would not be compromising on any longer.

…-…-…-…

He only had a chance to return to Fhirdiad two days later, having otherwise gotten a lot of business done with partners who would then become unknowing witnesses of his disinvolvement with Claude’s disappearance. Although Garreg Mach City oftentimes felt more like a home to him than Fhirdiad, Dimitri couldn’t wait to leave it behind him, and go to Claude instead.

In the sparse updates he’d gotten from Felix, he’d been told that Claude had to be put into a coma in order to control his seizures, and that his condition was stable in its instability for now. It was a mixed relief of some sort, to know that Claude’s body was finally allowed to rest in a safe place. Dimitri still couldn’t even begin to guess what he’d been through for five years, but judging by the way that the mere mention of that time seemed to bring up traumatic memories for him, he could guess that it hadn’t been easy.

Still, he wished he never had to see Claude in his current state, locked behind the glass doors of the one-bed intensive care that Dimitri kept available in the Fhirdiad headquarters of his medical technology company. Mercedes, the only doctor that Dimitri would trust with his own life, was behind the glass, giving medication in a syringe to Claude through one of the tubes in his mouth. As she pushed, the alarm on the large bedside monitor went off, and Mercedes expertly tapped the screen in a few places, turning off the loud noise.

Silence returned to the small room, which Dimitri found more disturbing than anything else.

Usually so lively and animated, Claude now rested on his back in the bed, unmoving, eyes closed and freshly-washed hair fanned out around him on the pillow. Mercedes had apparently intubated him in order to safely give him a horse’s dose of sedatives, so the ventilator next to the bed rhythmically whirred with each rise of his chest. He had a catheter in his neck, each port running several IV medications hanging on the pole next to his bed, and when Mercedes finished giving the crushed pills, she also restarted the tube feeding that hung alongside them, the milky yellow solution adding a splash of colour to the otherwise-clear tubes running into Claude’s body. His skin had regained some of its tan, but not nearly enough to assert that he was back to normal, bruises decorating his forearms, elbows, knees and calves. Dimitri had no doubt that there were more of them underneath his green hospital gown. There were wires running from his chest towards the monitor, and more wires running from electrodes pasted to his head to a separate machine at the foot of his bed, a seizure monitor, if Dimitri remembered correctly.

All in all, he looked plugged up and dependent on half a dozen machines, and Dimitri really hated that look on him.

As he mused, Mercedes exited the room, rubbing sanitizer on her hands. She approached him in a slow step and waited to be acknowledged to speak.

“I’m done with him medications for now,” she announced softly, her bright eyes full of compassion for her obviously-preoccupied boss. “Would you like to sit down? I can tell you what I know for now.”

“I think I would prefer standing,” Dimitri mumbled, turning his eyes to Claude’s still body once again.

“Alright,” Mercedes nodded, understanding as ever, and turned to look at Claude past the glass door as well. “What do you know so far?”

“Felix told me that there were likely drugs involved, and that the seizures may be due to those,” he shrugged. “I elected not to inquire further until I came to see him myself.”

“Well, it’s definitely drug-induced seizures,” Mercedes hummed. “Drug withdrawal, in fact. His urine came back positive for very large amounts of benzodiazepines, and digging in the pockets of his pants turned up a few remaining Valium pills.” She did not elaborate much further, seeing as Dimitri’s main trade was in illicit drugs, and that he already knew everything there was to know about benzodiazepines. “Judging by the severity of his seizures, his body has become so accustomed to taking them that abruptly stopping them precipitated convulsions. Felix said that he was on the run for nearly a week, so my educated guess is that he kept taking breakthrough doses of whatever he had on him, which is likely the only reason he made it.”

“I find it ironic,” Dimitri mumbled, mostly to himself, “that I feel no remorse in distributing to the people of Fódlan the same substances that nearly killed my friend.”

“They saved him, too,” Mercedes assured him softly. “Benzo medications also have the property to stop seizures. By continuing to take them, he saved himself.”

“Did he really?”

It was a rhetorical question, one that Dimitri did not want an answer to, and one that Mercedes knew not to give. They stayed in silence, side by side, observing the rise and fall of Claude’s chest for a minute before Dimitri spoke again.

“What else?”

“He has a pneumonia that I’ll treat with antibiotics,” she answered without skipping a beat. “He likely threw up and aspirated after his seizures, so his right lung is pretty badly infected. I also sent the tests for sexually-transmitted infections, as per your request, but have not received results yet. If he does have one, the antibiotics he is already receiving for his pneumonia may help stave the infection until I can begin more targeted therapy. Otherwise, for now, I’ll keep him on mechanical ventilation. His body is so used to sedatives that successful sedation requires enormous amounts of medication, so it’s safer if the machine supports his breathing for now. I started him on several anti-epileptic drugs as well, so until the concentration of those in his blood become stable, I’ll keep him fully comatose.”

“And after he wakes up?” Dimitri asked, expression set somberly. “I imagine it will not be easy then, either.”

“Unfortunately not,” Mercedes confirmed, her voice quieting as to let the heavy realization blanket Dimitri. “His body is addicted to benzodiazepines. The weaning process will take months, in which he’ll still be at risk for seizures, and have all sorts of withdrawal symptoms. I’m worried about his mental health as well. I don’t have much context other than what you've recounted to me, but it seems to me that Claude has been through something so traumatic that even speaking of it managed to precipitate a seizure. He doesn’t seem like he’s been hurt; the bruises on his body are minor, and there are neither wounds nor prominent scars on him. The only fracture I found was a crack in his wrist, a pathological fracture from weak bones rather than having been hit. His blood tests show that he hasn’t been eating or drinking well, which could explain the weak bones on the long run, but his scans look mostly normal. I can find nothing indicating physical trauma.”

“I am beginning to guess that he has been captive for five years, but I cannot tell for what purpose,” Dimitri agreed sadly. “As you said, it doesn’t seem like he has been beaten or tortured, physically at the very least. In fact, I’ve encountered many people in this line of business who were prisoners of one group or the next, and Claude seems relatively well-kept in comparison. He doesn’t look like he has been left to waste away. I am admittedly perplexed over his drug use, however.”

“My guess is that he was forcefully sedated by his captors,” Mercedes explained, impressively level-headed considering the heavy topic they were discussing. “I suspect that he was given a mix of antipsychotics and benzodiazepines daily to keep him compliant, possibly with some barbiturates as hypnotics and midazolam to induce retrograde amnesia. It would explain how disoriented he was when he was told that it had been five years, as he wouldn’t even have remembered time passing.”

“That’s horrifying,” Dimitri simply replied, unable to convey with words how truly repulsed he was by the hypotheses being put forward. His throat felt tight with emotions so strong that they hardly even felt like his own. “Why? Why him? And why all this?”

“I don’t think it will do us well to try and infer what happened to him during this time,” Mercedes said pensively, noticing that Dimitri was getting worked up. “I think… that the best will be to simply wait for him to wake up and tell us. It might take a long time before he is ready to talk about what happened to him, but until that time comes, we must be receptive and understanding of whatever he does.”

“What can I expect?” Dimitri asked, not actually expecting a straightforward answer.

“Hard to tell.” As he’d guessed, Mercedes couldn’t give him one. “But keep in mind that he’ll try to cope with whatever happened to him. He’s safe now, for the first time in years… and sometimes, the instability of recovery can be more dangerous than the comfort of suffering. He will have to relearn what it means to feel safe, and we will just have to learn with him.”

“I see…” Dimitri trailed off, gaze riveted on Claude, wondering what was going on inside his head. He’d always been a complex thinker and a convoluted person in general, so Dimitri couldn’t even begin to predict how his trauma would change him.

He wished it didn’t have to change him at all. Claude deserved none of what he got, and if Dimitri had to spend his entire life making sure it never happened again, he would gladly devote himself to the cause.

“Let me know if I can help,” Mercedes finally offered, leaving a skip of silence between them before heading off. This left Dimitri alone, staring at Claude through the glass, until the distance became too much for his aching heart.

He pressed the button to enter the room, and stepped into Claude’s miserable kingdom of machines. Immediately, the whir of the ventilator became audible, the feeding pump occasionally making a small noise of its own to break the monotony. The rest of the machines were quiet, completely soundless as they maintained Claude’s body functioning and suspended his mind somewhere calm, to retrieve when things looked better.

Right now, the future looked bleak, but there was nothing to be done about it. Like every other hopeless situation that he’d faced and from which he’d emerged victorious, Dimitri would simply have to do the same with Claude. He’d rebuilt a kingdom from the ground up when the death of his father nearly tore it down, and so rebuilding a single man, no matter how damaged, did not scare him.

He realized, belatedly, that he cared far too much for the boy in the bed to ever even consider backing down. He would never allow himself to leave Claude behind again, not under any circumstance, and much less now that he knew he had to protect him from something insidious.

“Claude,” he murmured, almost afraid of wrecking the silent sanctity of his room. “I’m here.” A simple promise to never say goodbye again.

Careful not to touch the numerous tubes, electrodes or wires connected to him, Dimitri set his hand on his face, slowly running his knuckles over his warm cheek with a feather-like touch uncharacteristic of a man who had the blood of dozens on those very same hands. He watched Claude’s eyelashes flutter in response, hoping that if he dreamt, he dreamt of something peaceful.

Leaning against the bedrail and watching him sleep, away from all prying eyes, the twenty-three year old who held half the country in his palm reverently caressed the man he loved.


	2. It doesn't mean it's the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter legitimately gave me anxiety hooooo boy now you know why it took so long. I bit the shellac right off my nails, y'all, that's how difficult this was. It was more difficult than I thought because as I wrote, Claude's character developed differently than I thought he would, and it was... much darker than I thought it would be. I really wanted to approach the topics of sexual violence, post-traumatic stress and coping mechanisms in realistic ways, while still staying true to their characters, and that was really much harder than I thought it would be. I hope I did okay.
> 
> So the warnings on this chapter are pretty serious. The characters talk about sexual violence that's been done to Claude in the past, and how that's affected him. There's nothing explicit, although there is a Dimiclaude sex scene in there somewhere, and although the sex is fully consensual, some things about Claude's mentality and feelings might give it a dub-con feeling. DimiClaude are not at their healthiest in this one, but you know they're both earnestly trying to be. There's lots of talk of non-consensual drug use and withdrawal, too. 
> 
> And speaking of the sex scene, please don't expect too much from me. I'm actually horrible at writing smut and I don't know what I was thinking. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Dimitri was in Garreg Mach, attending a quarterly meeting at the Azure Moon headquarters when he received Mercedes’ text. Being away from Claude for periodic amounts of time had made him much too anxious, so he’d ended up providing his cellphone number to Mercedes, trusting her to keep it secret, and using it to text him every day that he was not in Fhirdiad. Seeing as Hilda, the CEO of his company, was the one presenting to the VPs, he discreetly picked his phone up to read the message.

It was simply a non-urgent request to be called whenever Dimitri had time. Of course, when it came to Claude, Dimitri was constantly ready to drop everything, but he trusted Mercedes to let him know if it was something requiring his undivided attention, and set his phone back down on the table. He hadn’t become a giant of Fódlan’s underbelly by being rash, after all.

He’d call Mercedes during the break, and hopefully, whatever she had to say could wait until then. In the meantime, he figured he should distract himself so he would not overthink.

“My apologies, Hilda,” he said, briefly raising her hand to capture her attention. The woman stopped abruptly, not hiding how surprised she was to hear him uncharacteristically interject, and nodded at him to continue. “Could you please explain more about the decision to reroute funds from the development of the new cardiac monitors?”

“Of course, Mr. Blaiddyd!” she exclaimed in her overly-sweet, saccharine tone, visibly trying to cover up her shock.

Dimitri was aware of the entire meeting room’s eyes on him as Hilda explained something or another about pressing issues with the CT scanners, and leaned forward lightly, hoping to get himself invested in the conversation so that he wouldn’t have to think of Claude, still bedbound and suffering and hundreds of miles away from him.

At the lunch break, as Hilda’s administrative assistant began to hand out the catering, Dimitri excused himself from any potential conversations with the VPs and stepped out, choosing to use an empty meeting room nearby to make his call. He locked the door as he dialed Mercedes’ number, leaning against the long, elliptical table as the dial tone rang. Mercedes picked up after four rings.

“Hello, Dimitri,” she greeted cheerfully, effectively killing any anxiety that Dimitri may have felt upon dialing. “Thank you for calling.”

“I apologize for the delay; the meeting just adjourned a moment ago. How is Claude?” He immediately skipped to the point, eager to hear of his hospitalized friend.

“Much better,” Mercedes prefaced so that Dimitri could relax. “I decreased the ventilator settings to the bare minimum this morning, and he’s been breathing great on his own. I think he is ready for extubation, in fact, since today’s chest x-ray showed a significant improvement of his pneumonia. He has not had any seizures in the last 48 hours either, so I believe that we’ve reached a plateau of stability with his medication.”

“Has he woken up at all?” Dimitri asked, breathing deeply in relief at the news. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes to let sunlight from the glass-pane wall caress his face. “When I visited over the weekend, you said something about keeping him sedated to prevent seizures. Is that still the case?”

“I stop the sedation periodically to assess him, but it’s very uncomfortable to have a tube without proper sedation, so I put him back to sleep right after,” Mercedes explained. “He’s understandably anxious when he wakes, and it’s difficult to evaluate his mental state when he can’t talk, so I very much prefer keeping him comfortable until the tube comes out.”

“And when will that happen?” he asked, trying not to sound too excited. “As soon as possible, I presume?”

“As soon as you would like to arrive,” Mercedes offered. “There is no harm in waiting a little longer, and I think it would be best if you were here when he woke up. When would you like to visit?”

“I have an important meeting tomorrow morning, but I should be released by lunchtime. If I fly to Fhirdiad, I could arrive by the mid-afternoon. Is that suitable?”

“Of course. I’ll prepare for that time, then,” Mercedes hummed lightly, seeming completely at ease with the plan, which in turn made Dimitri feel confident. “You are welcome to call for more updates in the meantime, although I expect his condition to remain stable until then.”

“You have my gratitude, Mercedes,” Dimitri said, genuinely thankful for her skill, dedication, and secrecy. “When Claude wakes next, please assure him that I will visit him shortly.”

“I will,” she promised, giving a knowing laugh that didn’t bother Dimitri nearly as much as he thought it would. “Goodbye, Dimitri.”

When she hung up, the young man allowed himself to etch a small smile, taking a moment to glance out the window at the bustling city below. It was full of people scurrying around, running after the bus or leisurely walking dogs, living their simple lives and unburdened with the terrible truths that people like Dimitri knew. They seemed carefree, and happy, and as Dimitri pushed away from the desk to head back to the meeting room, he wished that he could offer a life like that to Claude, too.

…-…-…-…

As planned, Dimitri left for the airport with Dedue as soon as he was finished meeting with his new opiate provider from Morfis, breezing through security despite knowing that he had been recognized. Having struck a favourable agreement with his business partner and having encountered no resistance at the airport put him in a good mood, so that when he landed in the Fhirdiad International Airport an hour later, his footsteps felt light. The prospect of seeing Claude in a better state than when they found him just over a week ago made him feel relaxed, unbothered by the bitter cold of the snow-covered city. He shot a quick text to Felix to announce that he’d landed in Fhirdiad and then stepped into the back seat of Dedue’s sedan.

The drive to the Azure Moon headquarters was not long, streets relatively empty on the bright Thursday afternoon. By the time that Dedue pulled up, Dimitri had managed to review several pages of quarterly reports that Hilda had e-mailed him after their meeting yesterday, and he left the rest for another time as he walked into the lobby. Sylvain, sitting comfortably at the reception desk, saluted him as he passed by, giving him a knowing look.

“Welcome back. Everyone’s missed you,” he said, half-teasing in his usual fashion.

“Hello, Sylvain,” Dimitri replied to his long-time friend and ally, circling him without a second glance. “I do not recall employing you to sit at the desk and act smart.”

“I’m not wrong, though!” Sylvain laughed, Dimitri, too, allowing himself an amused snort as he bypassed the main elevators and entered a code-locked door at the back of the hallway. The door opened up into an unfinished cement corridor, which Dimitri crossed confidently. Unlike the Azure Moon Medical Technologies building in Garreg Mach City, his office in the Fhirdiad headquarters could be reached via the regular elevators, so the intentionally-bare corridors hidden in the back of the building had a different purpose.

That purpose was to function as a small hospital exclusively for the Blue Lions mafia members, a feat that was accomplished easily considering Dimitri’s legal and illegal lines of business. Indeed, as he entered another keycard-locked corridor, the unfinished cement suddenly became white linoleum and walls, the previously stagnant air clearing up with adequate ventilation. The first patient room, visibly empty, came into sight at Dimitri’s right, and a few steps further, the corridor opened up into a large open area, where a glass-walled nursing station had been built in the middle.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Blaiddyd,” a nurse in flower-print scrubs greeted him as he passed by, nodding briefly to the handful of staff members either charting or preparing medication in the station. Her fellow nurses turned to him and repeated the greeting, diligent in the presence of their employer and boss.

“Where is Doctor Martritz?” he asked sternly, knowing that he gave off an unquestionable aura of danger that would make it difficult for anyone to oppose him.

“She is currently in room 3, with a patient,” a nurse with blue hair answered him in a quiet voice, one that Dimitri knew well- Marianne Edmund, the nurse manager of their small medical center. She had originally worked for Derdriu’s trauma center, and when the Leicester province fell apart, she had fled to Faerghus. Mercedes had personally recommended her when Dimitri first suggested that they hire staff to turn the original clinic into a full-on hospital, and she had never been proven wrong so far.

“Inform her that I have arrived,” he ordered before continuing onward. He trusted that Marianne would relay the message- after all, she had been the only nurse who had been allowed into the intensive care room to care for Claude, so she knew of the importance of his presence.

Not waiting for her, Dimitri proceeded past all of the rooms, some of them occupied and others not, until he reached a set of large sliding doors. Making sure that nobody was watching him, he entered a PIN into the keypad, and the doors slid open, letting him in.

Beyond it, there was a single desk with a computer and a counter on which Claude’s chart rested. It faced the smaller sliding doors that gave into Claude’s room, and even from this distance, Dimitri could see the contrast of his tan skin against the stark-white blanket.

He pushed the button to enter Claude’s room and flipped the switch to keep the sliding doors open, seeing as Mercedes would arrive shortly. He then took his time approaching the bed, eyes roving across his body.

The number of IV bags hanging from the pole had decreased, now only running two solutions, one of which Dimitri recognized as the sedative. The feeding tube was clamped, no longer running anything, and the number of parameters displayed on the cardiac monitor had also decreased. This made Dimitri hopeful, as with his bare-bones knowledge of medicine, he could tell that the few values remaining on the screen were within normal range for someone like Claude.

Speaking of whom, Dimitri wasted no time in approaching his bedside and putting his hand on one of his shoulders.

“Hello, Claude,” he greeted softly, giving his shoulder a light squeeze. “It’s me. I am here.”

Claude didn’t react very much, considering the sedative, but he did begin to move his arms up until the soft sheepskin restraints around his wrists stopped him. He dropped his arms back down, immediately discouraged, and Dimitri laced his fingers through one of his hands, feeling Claude squeeze in return.

“It will not be long now,” he promised, and spent the next few minutes simply admiring the flutter of Claude’s long eyelashes, taking comfort in the whirr of his breaths through the ventilator.

He kept silent until Mercedes arrived, her running shoes making light tapping noises on the white floor.

“Welcome back, Dimitri,” she greeted, giving him a bright smile when he turned to nod at her. “Are you ready?”

“If Claude is ready, then I am as well,” Dimitri replied, watching as she stopped and disconnected the sedative running into the IV in his left arm.

“Good. I will set up until he wakes a little,” she explained, pushing the IV pole away from them. Dimitri watched her go back and forth between then room and the small stock room behind the desk, dropping equipment on the bedside table. In the meantime, as Claude began to stir, he caressed his knuckles with his thumb, hopefully soothing him throughout his difficult awakening.

It did not take long for Claude to wake fully, starting slowly with the twitch of his limbs and escalating into him coughing harshly. The ventilator alarm went off, and Mercedes silenced it before stepping on Claude’s other side, looping a mask around her nose and mouth.

“Open your eyes, Claude,” she encouraged, tapping his shoulder. Dimitri subconsciously squeezed his hand tight, his heartstrings tugging when he saw how violently Claude awakened. Thankfully, despite the cough, Claude opened his eyes and gazed in front of him blankly for a second before whipping his head to Dimitri.

“Hello, Claude,” Dimitri greeted, his mouth feeling dry at the sad sight of his friend trying to mouth words at him, lips caught around the breathing tube. “Please, take some deep breaths. Mercedes will soon remove the tube.”

In response, Claude simply struggled against his wrist restraints, eyes wide and pleading.

“Let me sit you up. We will be done in a minute,” Mercedes promised, raising the head of the bed with one hand and fiddling with the ventilator with the other. “There. Now, I will undo the strap on the tube and pull it out. When I do, it’s important that you cough as much as you can.”

Claude didn’t look away from Dimitri, but he nodded in understanding. Once he was fully sitting in bed, Mercedes disconnected the ventilator and peeled off the stabilizer straps on his cheeks.

“Here we go,” she warned, and then pulled.

The tube smoothly slid out of Claude’s mouth, accompanied by an orchestra of violent choking and coughing sounds. The young man’s entire body spasmed as Mercedes threw out the tube, instead suctioning whatever came out as he coughed, and Dimitri slid a hand behind him to rub soothingly between his shoulder blades.

“Dima,” Claude called out in a raspy voice in between two coughs. He strained his wrists harshly against the restraints. “Untie me, please-”

“Of course.” Pulling on one of the straps hanging by the bed, Dimitri quickly undid his right wrist while Mercedes undid the left. With his hands now free, Claude raised one to cup his mouth, and twisted the other one in Dimitri’s sleeve. 

“Alright, Claude. Well done,” Mercedes praised softly, looping an oxygen mask around his face. As his coughs subsided, Claude fell back against the pillow, drained, and his grip loosened on Dimitri.

“Well done,” Dimitri repeated, not knowing what else to say as he watched Claude’s breathing slow down. “I am glad to see you doing well.”

“Yeah,” Claude rasped, voice muffled by the mask. He looked exhausted, although he’d only just woken from his artificial sleep.

“No talking for now,” Mercedes chided gently, busying herself with the monitor. “Just take deep breaths and try to relax. You’ve already done a lot today, so you should rest now.”

“Sure.” Claude didn’t seem like he minded at all, immediately closing his eyes. The thin sheen of sweat that he’d worked up made his skin glow under the white neon lights, puffs of air escaping his cracked lips and clouding the mask rhythmically. He looked relieved, despite his haggard appearance, and Dimitri caught himself with his hand halfway up to sweep some of his sweaty hair off of his forehead.

He hesitated, however, hand hovering over Claude’s head, not knowing if the gesture would be appreciated. He was still acutely aware of the amount of trauma hidden underneath Claude’s nonchalant attitude, and the last thing he wanted to do was to push the boundaries of his and Claude’s relationship while still unaware of it all.

He wasn’t even sure what his and Claude’s relationship was anymore, for when he retracted his hand, instead choosing to observe, the protectiveness that reared its head inside of him was nearly ugly in its ferocity.

He caught himself thinking that he would burn entire cities to ash if it meant keeping the man in the bed safe from those who wanted to hurt him.

Mercedes quietly scurried around, cleaning the bedside and removing all of the unnecessary equipment. Her rapid footsteps were the only background noise to Claude’s slow, deep breaths, which Dimitri counted just for his own peace of mind as he completely removed the restraints from Claude’s wrists, tossing them to the foot of the bed. Mercedes let her patient rest for a few minutes before approaching him again with a cup of water.

“Claude,” she called out, Dimitri’s heart inexplicably skipping a beat when the man opened his eyes blearily to glance at her. Before he knew it, his fingers were tangled against with Claude’s once more, without encountering any resistance from him. “Are you having trouble breathing?”

“No,” Claude replied in a raspy voice, eyeing the water in her hands. “I’d definitely appreciate some of that, though.”

“Small sips,” Mercedes instructed, handing him the cup and removing the oxygen mask. “You might have some difficulty swallowing and a sore throat until tomorrow, but that’s normal.”

“Gotcha.” Despite her warning, Claude gulped down the entire cup within seconds before anyone could stop him, handing it back to her as he lapsed into a small series of coughs.

“Do you not listen?” Dimitri chided in exasperation, sighing, although he continued to caress the top of Claude’s hand with his thumb soothingly.

“Can’t say I’m known to follow orders, no,” Claude chuckled lightly, dropping back against his pillow.

“Alright,” Mercedes chuckled in amusement, beginning to lower the head of the bed. “You must be tired, so I will put your head down for a nap. I’ll wake you for dinner, alright?”

“Sounds good,” Claude acquiesced, already shifting around to make himself comfortable. Once he was nearly flat, he turned around to face Dimitri. “I suppose you have to leave now. You must have important things to do.”

“Nothing too important,” Dimitri lied, reviewing his mental list of semi-urgent things he needed to take care of, and placing Claude’s wellbeing at the very top. “If you would allow it, I would like to stay.”

“I physically wouldn’t be able to stop you, even if I wanted to,” Claude joked, giving Dimitri a fond smile. The sight of his thin cheeks dimpling made Dimitri feel warm all over.

“Here.” With perfect timing, Mercedes handed Dimitri the chair that had been at the desk outside the room, and Dimitri briefly untangled his hand from Claude’s in order to put the bedrails down and sit at eye-level with him. When he almost instinctively reached back out, Claude met him halfway and held his hand once more without complaint.

“This will do,” he decided, letting out a loud yawn and pulling the blankets up to his chin. He looked content to be lying down, and Dimitri noted how much more relaxed he looked now, much younger than when he’d been connected to all the machines at the beginning. It was a relief.

“I’ll dim the lights,” Mercedes warned, stepping outside the sliding doors to do just that. The intensity of the lighting decreased until the two boys were sitting in a comfortable penumbra. With that, she closed the doors, finally leaving Claude and Dimitri alone.

It was only in that darkness and solitude that Dimitri finally felt like he could breathe comfortably.

“Claude,” he murmured, nearly breathless when the other boy glanced at him, green eyes bright even in the darkness. “Words cannot express how elated I am to have you back. Truly, I have missed you.”

“You wouldn’t have missed me if you’d known what was happening,” Claude scoffed, trying to be funny, but in his exhaustion only sounding pitiful. “There’s nothing left of me to miss.”

“It pains me to hear you speak like that. To know that the last-” Dimitri hesitated “-few years have not treated you well.”

“Five years,” Claude calmly asserted, letting out a heavy sigh. “I know. I’ve had over a week of periodic awareness to wrap my head around it. Around everything, really.”

“And…?” Dimitri ventured to ask, unsure of the ground on which he was treading.

“Well… It feels understandably unreal.” The sheets rustled as Claude turned completely on his side, slipping his bent arm under his pillow to prop his head up. “At first, whenever I woke, I kept wondering if… if my escape had been unsuccessful. I didn’t recognize Mercedes for a while- she’s cut her hair, and I didn’t have enough of my mind put together to make the connection- and I woke up restrained, with a tube down my throat, and a stranger talking about sedating me.”

“You must have been terrified,” Dimitri murmured, feeling nauseous with the empathy he felt for Claude.

“Nah.” The sheets rustled against as he shrugged awkwardly. “Just resigned.”

“It’s awful that you would feel that in those circumstances.” Dimitri squeezed his hand tightly, not knowing how else to comfort him. Not that Claude seemed to need the comfort- indeed, as he mentioned, he looked resigned and detached from everything he retold. “May I… May I ask? What happened to you, for you to have expected such an outcome, and for easily having accepted it?”

“You may not,” Claude said, sounding completely serious although he had an easy smile on his face. “It’s not something I’m eager to relive. In fact, I’d much rather hear about your last five years. Anything good happen? Are you the big boss of the Blue Lions now?”

“I am,” Dimitri sighed, scooting forward to prop his chin on the mattress, only a foot or so away from Claude’s face. Although he was in an extremely vulnerable position, he also felt comfortable in his proximity, and spoke without inhibition. “It has been a difficult five years, but I have successfully rebuilt the Blue Lions and established our influence over the entire province. But that is not what I asked. I do not want you to change the subject.”

“I do,” Claude easily replied. “So, how is everyone? Is Felix your right hand now?”

“Yes, he is. And everyone is fine. Claude, please.”

“Dimitri, please,” Claude mirrored him, his exasperation finally showing in the way his brows furrowed. “I know that you’re anxious and that you’re worried about me. I know that you want to do something, feel like you’re helping somehow, but I mean it. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“I just…” Of course, Claude had managed to see right through him, as if no time had passed at all, as if neither of them had changed in five years. “I just… dislike knowing that you are suffering alone.”

“I’m not alone, am I?” Claude rolled his eyes, looking as if he was explaining something obvious to Dimitri. “I’m here now. I just need some time to process that I…” He stopped himself and chewed on his lip pensively, his expression falling. “I’m… I’m home. I’m safe. It’s not over, but for now, just for today, and maybe tomorrow, things are okay.”

“If time is what you need, then I will buy it for you with the entirety of my fortune,” Dimitri conceded, letting out a small sigh. “Because I trust you, that you will come forward when the time is right, I will wait. Until then, simply tell me what you would have me do.”

“This right here,” Claude rolled their linked hands on the bed to illustrate his point, “is just fine. I don’t need anything else.”

“Alright.” Not fighting him anymore, Dimitri took comfort in the fact that Claude trusted him, at least a little. “Rest now. I will stay until you wake.”

“Thank you.” At the very least, that seemed heartfelt. Claude settled himself comfortably, giving Dimitri a sad smile, as if he understood how complicated things were, and was apologizing for it.

Dimitri did not answer, simply watching him. Claude scrutinized his expression just a little longer before finally letting his eyes slip shut, his traits relaxing. And as his breathing began to even out, Dimitri continued to watch him, simultaneously feeling fond and sad as he let his gaze roam. There were remnants of adhesive on Claude’s cheeks where the tube had been stuck, and dried tear tracks smudged in the dark circles under his eyes. His lips were dry and cracked, a red sore on the upper edge where the tube had clearly created a pressure injury. His cheeks had slimmed and he’d clearly lost weight, his stubble-peppered jawline much sharper and his nose thinner than in his younger days. His hair, much longer when it was not done in his usual swept-back style, hung against his cheeks and forehead, and Dimitri felt the urge, once again, to sweep them out of his eyes to be able to admire him.

He hesitated for a second, two seconds, and then threw all caution to the wind, giving in to his impulses and gently pushing the hair off of his forehead, managing to tuck most of it behind his pierced ear. Immediately, Dimitri felt his heart flutter, doubly so when Claude etched a sleepy smile at the action.

It nearly hurt, nearly crushed his chest inward to see such delicate, instinctive happiness on his tired face. And Dimitri didn’t know what to call it, the suffocating feeling that had curled and coiled in his gut, ready to burst, but he did know one thing- that it was not unwelcome, and that he was in no rush to decipher it.

“I know what it is like to live without you,” he murmured reverently, nearly breathless in his haste to confess something he didn’t quite understand just yet. “And I will set this world on fire before I ever allow it to happen again.”

Claude didn’t respond, nor did he react, but his grip tightened minutely on Dimitri’s hand and that was the only answer that he needed to be given.

…-…-…-…

Mercedes allowed Claude to leave with Dimitri the same evening, confident that he was medically stable enough not to stay overnight. She explained everything that she had done for him during his hospitalization, handed him a paper bag of pills and discussed his drug tapering plan with both Claude and Dimitri until they were all on the same page.

“So… I have to keep taking these drugs for at least a few more months?” Claude paraphrased when Mercedes finished talking. “I can’t take something else? Something that will not sedate me as much?”

“Unfortunately not,” Mercedes confirmed, sounding regretful. “Benzodiazepine tapering is a very long process in general, doubly so since your body is dependent on very large doses of it. Abrupt cessation will give you uncontrollable seizures like those you had while on the run, which is why we must be very careful with decreasing your dosage gradually. It’s also why I prescribed those two antiepileptic medications in the bag; so that we can prevent withdrawal seizures while your body loses its dependence on the drugs.”

“I don’t like how…” Claude began, but then stopped himself, glancing down at the paper bag. “Whatever. There’s nothing to be done about it.”

“Were you concerned about something in particular?” Dimitri prompted.

“No. It is what it is,” Claude shrugged, his face unreadable.

“As I mentioned before, you should be wary of the withdrawal symptoms you may experience,” Mercedes continued, although Claude did not look up, continuing to bend the edges of the bag in his lap. “Nausea, headaches, insomnia,” she glanced up at Dimitri, discreetly making eye contact with him, “anxiety, depression, mood swings, delirium… and of course, if you feel like you’re about to have a seizure, stick with the seizure plan we elaborated.”

“I’ll lie down somewhere safe, and call someone for help if I have time. I know.” Claude did not seem pleased at all with the conversation they were having, and his displeasure was almost palpable.

Both Dimitri and Mercedes studied him for a few seconds before conceding that he would not be receptive to more conversation for now.

“Alright, it seems that you are fit to leave,” the doctor said, getting off her chair to open the sliding doors towards the rest of the hospital unit. “I’ll arrange your follow-up appointments with Dimitri. In the meantime, if you have questions or concerns, my contact information is on the papers in that bag.”

“Thank you, Mercedes,” Dimitri said, Claude mumbling it as well as they both stood. He waved to the doctor briefly before handing a heavy winter coat to Claude, which the latter pulled on as they quickly shuffled past the nursing station, towards the exit. Dimitri’s clothes were a bit large on Claude, but he fully intended to send someone shopping for him as soon as things settled down. For now, he needed to get him out of the public eye and into somewhere private as soon as possible.

They navigated the cement corridors in silence, Dimitri quickly texting Dedue to make sure that the man would be waiting for them at the building entrance to drive them to Dimitri’s apartment complex. As they exited into the lobby, cheerful voices reached his ear, and he craned his neck to ascertain the identity of the people at the desk before approaching with Claude in tow.

Luckily, it was still only Sylvain at the desk, getting ready to close the building for the night. He was speaking to Annette, whom Dimitri was surprised to see out of her office before he remembered that she had a ton of work to catch up on as their lead IT technician. Understandably, she had been busy with finding Claude, and then erasing Claude’s tracks from the internet in the last week. Last that Dimitri heard, the dark web was going crazy trying to find Claude, his captors sparing no effort in hunting him down. Something felt off about it all to Dimitri- of course Claude was a very high-profile individual but advertising his return after his presumed death would turn the entire country against Those Who Slither In The Dark. Plus, there was something suspicious behind the increasing millions in prize that they were offering for his retrieval.

There was something else at play, but Dimitri felt like neither Claude nor his enemies would be talking about it any time soon.

“Boss!” Annette exclaimed, seeing him first as he approached, Claude just a half-step behind him. Her eyes immediately went to him, and her expression brightened up considerably. “And Claude!”

“Keep it down, Annette,” Sylvain rolled his eyes, swiveling his chair to look at the two of them as well. “May as well broadcast it to the whole world that he’s here.”

“Nah, the chase has crossed into Almyra, last I heard,” Annette shrugged, sipping on some iced coffee even though it was visibly snowing outside. “Claude already did a good job with his trail of breadcrumbs, and I managed to erase all the recorded evidence of his last leg in Fódlan. As long as the man who drove you through Gloucester doesn’t talk, you’re safe.”

“He will not be talking,” Dimitri asserted without a doubt. “He has been made painfully aware that a single misstep on his end would spell out his death at my hands, personally.”

“Annette,” Claude addressed unexpectedly, and Dimitri noted how there was a small spark in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “If I provide you with pictures of myself, could you circulate them through an Almyran VPN? Ideally, I would want to lead my tracks east; on the easternmost border of Almyra, there is a treacherous mountain range, not unlike Ailell here in Fódlan, and I would want my tracks to end there. It’s nearly guaranteed that if I manage it, I’ll be presumed dead by Those Who Slither In The Dark.”

“Good plan,” Annette nodded, slurping loudly on her coffee. Dimitri nearly visualized the calculations going on in her head. “I’ll let you know what kind of media I would need. Thankfully, seeing as most of central Almyra is a desert, planting false information even sparsely will be enough to be believable.”

“I appreciate that,” Claude gave her a small smile, clearing his throat lightly when his voice rasped at the end.

“Anyway, man, you should get some rest,” Sylvain interjected, drumming his nails on the armrest of his chair. “It’s been a tough two weeks for you, so I’m glad to see you doing so well. I think the entire world’s missed you, with all that’s happened in the past five years.”

“I have a lot to catch up on,” Claude agreed, visibly dodging the topic. “But… Considering that I have to lay low for a few more months at the very least, I think I’ll have plenty of time to do some light reading on the recent history of Fódlan.”

“Light,” Sylvain snorted sarcastically. “Well, you haven’t lost your sense of humour.”

“That’s one thing,” Claude hummed, his easy expression hiding the morbid truth behind his words. He tugged the coat tighter around his shoulders, signaling to Dimitri that he wanted to go, and the latter immediately jumped to act.

“Alright, let’s go.” Tapping Claude’s shoulder, he nodded towards the door. “Dedue is waiting for us, and we should get you home to rest.”

“Good night,” Sylvain and Annette chorused, waving as the two mafia kingpins left the building side by side.

Dedue drove them promptly to Dimitri’s luxury apartment complex, a building much smaller than the condominium tower that he owned in Garreg Mach City if only because his property in Fhirdiad was only leased to Blue Lions affiliates. Felix and Sylvain stayed in the apartment two floors down from his, and Rodrigue had only recently moved out into a villa by the waterside. Annette, for safety reasons, lived off grounds in a separate apartment, so that if there was ever a police search on Dimitri, all her data would remain out of reach. However, her father still stayed in the ground floor apartment where she had grown up. Ingrid had temporarily moved closer to her university to be able to finish her master’s degree in criminology, but Dimitri kept her old apartment saved for when she eventually moved back. A few select higher-ranked drug distributors also stayed in the building, leasing units under condition to not use them as meth labs. All in all, it was a well-controlled environment under Dimitri’s thumb, and a perfect place to keep Claude while he flew under the radar.

Claude didn’t seem too impressed by the large apartment when they entered, although Dimitri suspected that he was just too exhausted to react. They kicked off their shoes in the entrance and made a beeline for the only bedroom, Claude seeming more and more comfortable and confident the more they walked. Shedding his coat on the couch as he passed, he entered past the door that Dimitri held open for him, and climbed onto the bed without hesitation to sit against the headboard.

“You must be exhausted,” Dimitri interpreted his actions, draping his own coat and scarf over his desk chair and undoing the top few buttons on his shirt. “I will arrange for the other free unit on this floor to be furnished for you, so that you may have your own space. Until then, however, I recommend that you stay with me.”

“Of course.” There was no emotion in Claude’s voice, and Dimitri turned to frown at him, confused by his reaction. Claude’s expression was no different; he sat calmly with his legs crossed, but his gaze was completely blank as it followed every twitch of Dimitri’s body.

“Is everything alright?” he ventured to ask, thrown off by his friend’s strange behavior. Idly, he removed his wristwatch and set it down on his dresser, and the noise it made drew a visible flinch out of Claude.

“It’s fine.” Clearly, he wasn’t fine, and Dimitri nearly pushed it before he remembered his promise to wait for him.

“If you say so.” Grabbing pyjamas out of his dresser, he headed back towards the door. “It’s a tad early for me, but you are more than welcome to turn in already. If you need me, I will be working in the kitchen.”

“You’re not staying?” Now that seemed to surprise Claude, and he cocked his head lightly, seeming genuinely confused when Dimitri opened the door.

“I would not want to bother you while you sleep, so I will take the couch for tonight,” Dimitri explained. “You do not have to worry about it.”

“I am in your debt for all this, then,” Claude concluded, his shifty expression betraying that he was thinking much farther than their current conversation.

“That’s nonsense,” Dimitri insisted. “I am simply helping a dear friend in need. Seeing you safe is all that I want.”

Claude didn’t reply to that, still seemingly conflicted, so Dimitri took it as his cue to leave. Briefly wishing him good night, he left Claude alone on his bed and headed to set up his laptop on his kitchen counter for a few more hours of work.

The hours passed, and Dimitri did not hear a peep from his bedroom. Eventually, past midnight, he decided to retire for the day, and went over to check on Claude.

Dimitri found him curled up tightly on the very edge of the bed, tangled in the covers with only the top of his head poking out, having made himself so small that it nearly seemed uncomfortable. It seemed like he’d left enough space for a second person, although his body language spoke volumes about how receptive he was to the idea of a second person.

Remembering his promise to wait, Dimitri simply decided not to overthink it, and closed the door behind him. He fell tiredly on his couch, browsing his social media idly until his eyelids tugged downward, and despite everything weighing on his mind, he found that sleep came easy.

In the morning, he woke up to find Claude asleep sitting on the floor next to his feet, bare toes poking out from underneath the blanket that he clutched tightly around him. It only took a single shift of Dimitri’s limbs for his eyes to snap open, glancing around urgently before relaxing. Dimitri noted sadly that he did not look rested at all.

“Did you sleep here?” he asked groggily, sitting up to assess Claude.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Claude briefly replied, cryptic as ever in dodging simple questions.

“Alright.” Conceding defeat, Dimitri swung his legs off the couch to stretch. “Get off the floor, it’s much too cold. I can start making breakfast, so go get your medication.”

“Okay.” Getting up, Claude began to walk past Dimitri, looking defeated, for a lack of a better term. Immediately worried, Dimitri caught his wrist as he walked by, feeling the exact moment when the entirety of Claude’s body froze up in reaction to his touch.

He let him go instantly, spooked by his reaction, and Claude stayed in place, not moving, not saying a single word.

“Please tell me what you are thinking,” Dimitri nearly begged, scared that he’d done something wrong, even though Claude’s face remained impassable. “Your silence worries me.”

Claude maintained the silence for another few seconds before abruptly beginning to walk again, not glancing back at Dimitri.

“I’ll go get my meds,” he said as he headed off, leaving Dimitri hanging.

And indeed, Dimitri ran a hand through his hair, feeling just a tad bit overwhelmed, and not knowing what to do other than hope that things would get better.

…-…-…-…

Claude lived with Dimitri for a week, and nothing seemingly got better. He still spoke in short sentences, didn’t volunteer any information about his wellbeing, and shot down all of Dimitri’s gentle prompts to talk about his captivity. With the cellphone that Dimitri bought him, he just spent his days catching up on the news, reading article after article about the civil war that had come to a tentative standstill only weeks ago. He only ever addressed Dimitri when he had questions about those five years, and it was only then that Dimitri saw some form of life in him again.

And then, when the question was answered and the conversation ended, he would go back to being a shell of his former self, quiet, subdued, as if having learned to be invisible. He ate well and took his medication diligently and exercised, so he physically looked a lot better than when he was discharged from the hospital, but his mental state wasn’t making nearly as much progress, to Dimitri’s chagrin.

Dimitri hoped that it really was just a matter of time, and let Claude haunt the spaces of his apartment like a ghost without intervening.

However, spending the week working from home had given Dimitri the chance to learn something important. Despite his perpetual silence, Claude had not become shy about seeking out physical contact, sitting quietly next to Dimitri while he worked and holding his hand when possible. When Dimitri sat at the bar counter to drink coffee in the morning while reading the news, Claude sat next to him, dropped his head on his shoulder, and read the news with him. Once, he was even on the couch when he picked up an important call from one of his government contacts, and he must have taken too long, for Claude had, without warning, crawled into his lap and laid down against him, nearly giving Dimitri a heart attack. He seemed much too content and relaxed whenever Dimitri touched him, whether to idly comb his hand through his hair or caress his knuckles, closing his eyes and going limp, letting Dimitri manipulate him. However, whenever Dimitri called him out on it, he would immediately cease and break away, never addressing it.

Dimitri simply learned to indulge his strange quirks without questioning them, glad that, even if Claude didn’t talk to him much, he did seek him out regardless. And if his heart felt full every time he heard the patter of Claude’s socked feet heading towards him, he certainly didn’t admit it. If he enjoyed every second of feeling Claude’s skin against his, every opportunity to observe him from up close, he didn’t say anything about it.

Claude’s state of mind was still too difficult to read, and Dimitri did not want to make things even more complicated by exploring why being around Claude, despite all the challenges it presented, made him immeasurably happy.

He chalked it up to being relieved about finding his childhood friend alive and safe, and left it at that for now.

Claude’s apartment took an entire week to be furnished and ready to receive its occupant. It quickly became apparent, however, that nothing had changed with the addition of Claude’s personal space. He still came over to Dimitri’s apartment, whether or not he was home, and waited around idly for Dimitri to return in the latter case. The mafia boss didn’t want to compare Claude to a puppy, but it was quite accurately descriptive of his behavior. The only time that Claude left Dimitri’s apartment was to sleep- and he would invariably return in the morning.

It was baffling, and as another week passed by, Dimitri was overcome with the distinct feeling that they weren’t making any progress at all.

“Maybe he needs a change of environment,” Mercedes had suggested over the phone when Dimitri had called her for advice on his lunch break. “Perhaps it would do him good to go out and rediscover the world, considering that it’s been five years since he’s last done so.”

It was with that thought in mind that Dimitri arranged to move Claude to Garreg Mach City over the weekend, planning with Felix to operate on a long-term out of Fódlan’s capital city by that same occasion. Dedue drove him and Claude down from Fhirdiad while Felix left with Sylvain, tasked with picking up Ashe from an assignment in Gaspard territory on the way. Ingrid stayed in Fhirdiad for university, as did Annette and Mercedes due to the nature of their work, although the latter did fly Marianne to Garreg Mach City in her stead to continue monitoring Claude’s condition.

With all of the important players on the move, the Blue Lions relocated to Garreg Mach City, and Dimitri especially hoped that leaving Fhirdiad behind would be a good new beginning for Claude.

Claude did not comment on the move, simply taking to Dimitri’s expensive penthouse condo like a fish to water. The first day they spent there, he spent his time lounging on the couch in a loose knit sweater, and Dimitri was nearly certain that he let the large sleeves fall off his shoulders on purpose every time he passed by. Claude didn’t talk to him very much yet, but he did look at him differently, his eyes much more expressive than before, not that Dimitri dwelled on what he was trying to convey. He had too much to do to in regards to the relocation and did not have time to play whatever game Claude had set up for him.

That was how they spent their first day in Garreg Mach City, with Dimitri on the phone nearly all the time, and writing e-mails whenever he wasn’t talking. Claude was visibly in a bad mood because of it, and Dimitri briefly apologized to him over dinner before continuing to discuss the change in their money laundering process with Felix.

Dimitri wasn’t blind to Claude’s frustration, but he really did have a lot of pressing matters to attend to. So, when Claude retired early to the guest bedroom, he didn’t pay him any mind, promising to himself that he’d make it up the next opportunity he found. He himself only managed to wrap things up in the early hours of the night, barely making it to his bed before crashing into it tiredly, breathing out a heavy sigh.

He was only twenty-three years old, and already exhausted beyond redemption. What a life.

With that thought, he fell asleep, knowing he would have to get up and do everything all over again the next day.

He was woken much earlier than his alarm clock, however, by the creak of his bedroom door, a light sound that was enough to wake him up. He immediately felt on edge, muscles tense even before he sat up to look at the intruder, his eyes darting to his gun resting on the bedside table.

“Who’s there?” he asked groggily, smothering a yawn as he squinted at the door. In the dark, he could only make out the outline of the person that had entered his room, and he took a wild guess. “Claude?”

“Hey.” Indeed, it was Claude’s voice that replied to him, and Dimitri relaxed entirely, rubbing his eyes to clear the sleep from them.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, following Claude as the man slowly walked towards him. When he stepped into the thin beam of moonlight that had infiltrated through the crack of the blinds, Dimitri noted how his face was unreadable again. “Claude? Did something happen?”

“Nothing happened,” Claude assured him calmly, reaching the bedside table and flipping the small lamp on. A soft orange light bathed the corner of the room, Dimitri blinking rapidly to get used to it. “I just decided something.”

“So late?” Dimitri glanced up at him, only to realize that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, only loose sweatpants. Unlike Dimitri, who already had a few tattoos, Claude only had the traditional brand on his back, and so his chest was smooth and golden in the light of the bedside lamp. He looked beautiful, and Dimitri realized that this was the first time he’d actually had the chance to observe him since his return. Last time he’d gotten a good look at Claude, they had both been boys at the cusp of adulthood. Now, though, Claude looked different somehow, more mature- his neck unmarred, his stomach flat and his collarbones sharp. An all-too familiar tightness settled in Dimitri’s gut at the sight of them.

He was exhausted and confused, but apparently, being abruptly woken in the middle of the night didn’t do anything to stop his libido from rearing its head. It was embarrassing, although Dimitri didn’t have time to dwell on it because Claude slid into his bed without hesitation, beginning to crawl forward.

“Claude?” he asked, perhaps a bit too high-pitched to be collected. “What are you doing?” Looking at Claude, however, made it very clear as to his intentions. Something like panic flared inside of him and he scooted back until he hit the headboard. “Claude, hold on, what’s brought this on?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot recently,” Claude answered, possibly the longest sentence he’d said in days. He stopped when he reached Dimitri, shamelessly throwing the covers open and straddling his thighs. The weight of his body on Dimitri’s lap made his brain nearly combust. “And this is what I want from you, Dima. If you want me, too, then it’s settled.”

“Hold on…” Dimitri felt heat crawling up his face, hoping to Sothis that he wasn’t as red as he felt. “What are you talking about? This is so sudden, I am not sure what you are-”

“Sex, Dimitri,” Claude cut him off, letting out an exasperated huff. “I want to have sex.”

Dimitri had seen some shit in his short time as a criminal overlord, but this definitely took the cake in leaving him speechless.

“But this is so unexpected, are you sure?” he blurted out, flailing around simply by virtue of not knowing what to do with his hands. Claude seemed to notice, and his face softened into something more amused as he reached out for Dimitri’s wrists, guiding his hands to rest on his naked waist instead. The heat of Claude’s bare skin made Dimitri’s breath hitch. “It’s- It’s just that you have not truly spoken to me since we left the hospital, so I thought that you wanted your distance.”

“I’ve taken enough distance,” Claude assured him. “I want this, Dimitri. With you.”

“I just… would not want to push you into something for which you are not ready…” Dimitri bit his lip, feeling a little ridiculous for voicing such a trivial concern. “I am still concerned about you, you know…”

“I’m the one offering.” Shuffling forward on his knees, Claude sat flush against Dimitri’s groin, although he mercifully did not comment about how his partner was already stiff in his pants. “Dima. I’m okay.” He smiled, and Dimitri’s grip instinctively tightened on his waist. “Now, just assure me that you are, too. If you don’t want to sleep with me, then just say it, and that’s fine. I just don’t want you to say no on my behalf, because I’m nowhere near wanting to say no.”

“I…” Dimitri wanted to trust Claude, so badly, wanted to trust that whatever had happened to him in the past had not influenced this sudden decision. He scrutinized his easy expression, the hooded look in his eyes, the lazy smile on his lips, and swallowed heavily as his partner grinded his hips on his legs impatiently. His body felt warm and inviting under his touch, and Dimitri realized that this was what he wanted, too. And if Claude could promise him that this was something that he wholeheartedly wanted, regardless of how suddenly he’d brought it up, then he would not say no.

He moved his hands from Claude’s hips to his face, and wordlessly drew him forward into a kiss.

Claude almost melted in his grasp, immediately moulding himself against Dimitri as they kissed, just lips for a few moments and then all tongue and teeth. Dimitri took advantage of Claude’s convenient lack of clothing to trail his hands down his neck, to his broad shoulders, caressing his firm arms and feeling his muscles twitch when Claude tangled his hands in Dimitri’s long hair to pull. Dimitri grunted against Claude’s lips, drawing a pleased hum from his partner which immediately trailed into a soft moan when Dimitri pinched a nipple, simultaneously rolling his hips off the bed.

“Dima-” Claude groaned breathlessly as they broke apart, desperately scrabbling at the hem of his tight long-sleeved sleep shirt. Dimitri nipped at his jaw as Claude tugged it up, only pulling away to help Claude undress him and toss the shirt to the floor. “You were handsome the last time I saw you, but now you’re just unfairly attractive.”

“My appearance has been the least of my concerns all this time,” Dimitri mumbled a bit self-consciously, hiding his embarrassment by ducking his face against Claude’s neck, trailing kisses from under his ear, all the way down to his collarbone, which he bit with bruising intent.

That drew a pleased noise from Claude, who threw his arms around Dimitri’s shoulders to draw him closer, playing with the tips of hair brushing against the nape of his neck and clearly enjoying the attention he was being given. His hips had started a slow grind against Dimitri, little waves of pleasure ebbing and flowing up Dimitri’s abdomen, and although they were not unwelcome, they certainly were not enough either.

Claude seemed to share the opinion, for he let Dimitri suck bruises on his neck for a few moments longer before tipping his chin up for another kiss. At the same time, he dropped his free hand to the front of Dimitri’s pyjamas and firmly cupped his stiff dick, drawing a surprised moan that Claude swallowed easily, a satisfied smirk on his swollen lips.

“So, are you going to fuck me tonight, or tomorrow?” he breathed against Dimitri’s lips, rubbing circles with his hand a couple of times before slipping past the waistband of his pants. “Tell me I didn’t spend a whole hour preparing for nothing.”

“You’re impossible,” Dimitri grunted, surprisingly turned on by the thought that Claude had pre-meditated this for a while. He bucked his hips into his touch, but, finding much less friction than he would like, he decided to take the reigns. “Be sure not to say things you will regret afterward.”

Spreading his legs, he was able to push himself on his knees, and then, with a hand looped around Claude’s waist and another on the back of his neck, he tilted his partner off his lap, dropping him flat on his back. Claude hit the bed with a muffled thump, immediately looping his legs around Dimitri’s waist and clenching firmly to prevent him from getting too far away.

“Not a chance,” he replied, immediately going for Dimitri’s pants in this new, easier position. He undid the string, and Dimitri did the rest, pushing all of his clothes down in one sweeping motion.

Leaning down, he brushed hair off of Claude’s forehead and then gripped it to tip his head back, delving in for another set of heavy kisses while his other hand busily undid Claude’s clothes. Claude barely managed to fish the small tube of lubricant from his pockets before Dimitri pushed them down to his knees, his entire body shivering palpably at the exposure.

It took an awkward shimmy from both of them to get rid of all their clothes, but once they were both naked and pressed up against each other, it finally felt right. It felt good- so good that Dimitri forgot everything else, and in that moment, only knew Claude.

“I’m- I’m ready,” Claude panted out, his eyelids heavy and half-lidded with pleasure as he twisted his lubed grip over Dimitri. Mind already swimming, Dimitri tried not to thrust against his hand, instead busying himself with admiring how objectively breathtaking Claude looked, spread out and warm and so turned on underneath him. Locking eyes with his intense gaze with him made Dimitri’s mouth go dry. “Hold on- I’ll turn so you can look at my tattoo while you fuck me.”

“I would rather look at you,” Dimitri admitted, hoping he hadn’t messed anything up when he noticed how Claude’s eyes widened instantly. He seemed to stop breathing for a second, freezing in his tracks, and Dimitri frowned, now truly worried. “Claude? Is that alright with you?”

“Oh, y-yeah.” He hadn’t seemed to expect that at all, but he recovered quickly, looking away from Dimitri with something akin to embarrassment. It wasn’t a look that Dimitri expected to see on Claude, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

“Are you sure, Claude?” he asked again, trying to puzzle things out, but unable to think much past his own throbbing need and the sight of his partner opened up so tantalizingly underneath him.

“Yes, I’m sure, Dimitri,” Claude finally sighed out after a moment of hesitation, locking his ankles behind Dimitri’s back to draw him down. “Now, come on. You’re really killing me here, making me wait like this.”

“I apologize for the wait, then,” Dimitri quipped, setting all of his thoughts aside for a moment, and giving in to the thrill of Claude’s body instead. He gripped Claude’s hips tight, and whatever snarky comment the other boy was about to make died on his lips, buried under the breathless, delicious noise that escaped him as Dimitri finally claimed him as his own.

…-…-…-…

The next morning, Dimitri woke up alone, and tried not to feel too dejected about it. He had too much to do, anyway, to be concerned over an empty bed, so he quickly forgot about it and went on with his day. Claude didn’t say much about last night either, simply parading around in his underwear and the same loose knit sweater as the night before, and once mentioning to Dimitri that he would leave his door unlocked at night.

Not that Dimitri had much time to think about sleeping with Claude again, what with all the issues he had to solve in regards to their move to Garreg Mach City.

He only returned to the Azure Moon building a few days later, taking Claude with him and setting him up in his spacious and well-furnished office while he got work done. Mostly, he worked on his illegal assets, but in the afternoon, Hilda dropped him a quick call on his desk phone, asking for his opinion on their contract renewal with the Garreg Mach University Hospital. It was something that Dimitri decided to handle promptly.

“I am leaving briefly to go handle something,” he announced to Claude, who was reading something on his laptop, sitting on the couch with his legs kicked up on the coffee table. “I will return shortly.”

“Sounds good,” Claude hummed, not glancing up, and Dimitri left without worries, seeing as their relationship had felt less tense since they slept together.

Dedue waited outside his door at his usual post, so Dimitri closed the door before addressing him.

“Claude is still in there,” he informed his bodyguard. “I must go see Hilda, but it should not take me too long to return.”

“Understood.” Diligent as ever, Dedue simply nodded as Dimitri left down the hallway, towards the one-stop elevator to the rest of the building.

His meeting with Hilda ended taking a lot longer than he expected, in the end, when they realized that there were several grave inconsistencies in the terms of contract renewal, and so Dimitri was stuck in her office for a large part of the afternoon.

Dimitri only realized how long his meeting had dragged on when there was a rapid knock at Hilda’s office door, and Claude stumbled in.

“Wha-” Alarms bells immediately rang in his head as Claude closed the door, slumping against it. “What are you doing here? Has something happened?”

“I had a seizure,” Claude said, his face sheet white. Dimitri got up and rushed to him, and Claude met him halfway. “I woke up and I couldn’t remember whose office I was in, and I panicked. I wanted to find you, so I came up here, but there were so many strangers, all looking at me, and I thought, what if someone recognizes me? And I was scared. I don’t know why I’m feeling like this, my brain feels like it’s anywhere but where it should be.”

“Deep breaths,” Dimitri urged him, gripping his shoulders to keep him grounded. “You are safe. It’s likely just the withdrawal anxiety that Mercedes mentioned.”

“I don’t want it.” Claude’s breath hitched, and he pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes harshly. “I don’t want to be in withdrawal, I don’t want to feel like this, I can’t do this anymore-”

“Alright, alright, just try to relax,” Dimitri swallowed heavily, feeling like he was losing control of the situation very quickly. Turning around, he locked eyes with Hilda, hoping to prevent an absolute disaster from happening. “My apologies, Hilda, but would you mind giving us some privacy? Immediately, please.”

“Hold on, hold on.” Previously only having observed the exchange, the pink-haired woman now approached them, scrutinizing Claude closely. The look in her eyes made protectiveness flare up inside Dimitri, and he tugged Claude a bit closer to him. “Lemme see what’s going on.”

“Ms. Goneril, this is none of your business, so I would kindly ask you to step out,” Dimitri interjected, glaring murder at her. He knew for a fact that this exact expression and tone of voice would have his underlings snapping to obey, but Hilda did not seem concerned at all. Instead, she skipped forward, rather fearlessly, really, disobeying the boss of the Blue Lions mafia to stop next to Claude.

“Hey, love,” she called out to him, her voice rising a pitch higher on the ending in typical Leicester dialect style. “S’alright, ain’t nothing to be worried about. You’ve got a strong one watchin’ over you, ain’t nothing to be scared of.”

“Why’s the world feel like it’s falling?” Claude answered without skipping a beat, his intonation and grammar changing as well to fit the native Leicester speech patterns. Dimitri’s eyebrows rose slightly in surprise when he realized that Claude was being receptive to Hilda, despite being in visible distress. He himself had not heard anyone speak in dialect in a long time- most people in Fódlan spoke the standard language that the inhabitants of its capital, Garreg Mach City, spoke- so hearing them converse in flawless Leicester dialect threw him completely off.

“None of that,” Hilda assured him, rubbing a few circles in his back comfortingly. That drew Claude’s attention, too, and he broke away from Dimitri to look at her fully. He still looked anxious, but was clearly hanging onto Hilda’s words. “Gonna wanna sit? Just breathe. Everything’s fine.”

Claude followed her advice, and Dimitri numbly let him, watching as he retreated to the nearest chair, sitting stiffly on it.

“Are you feeling a little better?” he asked, coming to stand next to him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Just a lil’,” Claude hummed, his voice still pitched in his dialect even though he spoke to Dimitri. “My head’s feeling like an ocean’s worth of drink.”

“I’m… not sure I understand,” Dimitri admitted, not recognizing the expression. “Are you dizzy? Does your head ache?”

“His thoughts are giving him a hard time,” Hilda switched to standard language to explain, squatting in front of Claude in order to meet his gaze when he hung his head. “He’s just overthinking everything, and all these intrusive or obsessive thoughts are making him anxious.”

“I see…” Dimitri frowned, clutching Claude’s shoulder tighter. In response, Claude leaned into him, laying his cheek against his forearm. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not yet,” Claude shook his head, and Dimitri felt just a little more helpless than before. “I just want it to be over.”

“I am going to call Marianne,” Dimitri told him, sighing as Claude simply curled up tighter against him, his body language completely rejecting Dimitri’s suggestion even though he didn’t say anything outright. “Really. It is not normal for you to be seizing. If you feel so anxious, perhaps the tapering is progressing too quickly.”

“Whatever,” Claude shrugged, letting out a bitter laugh. “It’s never up to me, anyway.”

Dimitri didn’t dignify that with a response, instead getting Hilda to call Marianne up. The nurse arrived within a few minutes, making a beeline for Claude, who was quietly leaning against Dimitri with his eyes closed. Once it became clear that he had not been hurt by the seizure, she whisked him off to the private clinic on the ground floor to give him a proper evaluation. Dimitri didn’t follow, hoping that Claude would feel it less necessary to hide his emotions if he wasn’t around.

Everything was much too complicated. When he thought he figured one thing out, another popped up and made things difficult again.

“You alright, boss?” Hilda asked him as Marianne closed the door behind them, escorting Claude away. Dimitri clung to the sight of him until the last strand of his hair disappeared behind the door, and then turned to the CEO of his company.

“Yes,” he briefly answered, turning around to head back to the desk, where they still had a contract to re-draft. “Let us proceed with the GMUH contract so that we may have it ready for signing on time.”

“Are we… not going to talk about what just happened?” Hilda asked, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “I was right here, you know. Heck, I even handled the situation, whatever it was.”

“I am aware, and I am grateful for your intervention.” Despite his words, Dimitri’s tone was icy. “However, I would strongly suggest that you forget the incident from here on out. It is not something in which you should involve yourself.”

“I know, I know, I’m not trying to be nosey, but…” Hilda tapped her chin with her perfectly-manicured nails. “By any chance, that wouldn’t have happened to be Claude Riegan, right?”

“Excuse me?” Dimitri spluttered, feeling his own anxiety spiking at the sound of Claude’s name. He tried to recall if he’d called it out during their brief exchange, but he was usually very careful about avoiding the use of Claude’s name.

“It was, wasn’t it?” Hilda snapped her fingers, too happy with her deduction. However, when Dimitri shifted his stance near-threateningly, she backtracked to explain sheepishly. “Don’t get mad, boss. I knew I’d seen him somewhere before! He’s gotten a little older and a little more handsome, but he otherwise still looks the same as when his family controlled all of Leicester.”

“How did you recognize him?” Dimitri asked, split between listening to Hilda, and calling Dedue to detain her immediately. He wasn’t sure where she stood in her alliances, so far having been considered neutral due to her leading a mostly legal life.

“I’ve met him before,” the pink-haired woman explained lightly. “My brother, Holst Goneril, didn’t… always deal with the law-abiding crowds in his business. The Golden Deer were a huge presence across all parts of Leicester, right? So of course, when my brother hosted a soiree once and invited all his partners, Claude showed up, too, alongside his family. I noticed him because he was almost my age!” She topped off her explanation proudly, before her expression turned pensive. “Not sure if he would remember me, though. Maybe he’d remember my brother’s name?”

“You…” Dimitri wasn’t sure how to digest this information. “You were… affiliated with the Golden Deer?”

“My brother was,” Hilda corrected as if it were no big deal. “But you know what they say about the mafia. Your family’s business is my family’s business, or whatever.”

“Is that why Rodrigue recommended you when I was looking to appoint a new CEO to replace him?” Dimitri sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You already had ties to the mafia, so it would not have been difficult for you to operate directly under me.”

“I guess that’s right,” Hilda shrugged. “I heard through my brother’s contacts that you were looking for a new CEO for Azure Moon in the second year of the war, so I thought; hey, what better way to stay safe in this conflict than work directly under the boss of the Blue Lions, and simultaneously stay on the legal side of things? Great plan, even though I underestimated how much work it was going to be.”

“You…” Dimitri had no words. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say. Quiet acceptance settled over him quickly, though, since Hilda had never proven to be distrustful, especially now that she’d dealt with Claude. “Fine. I suppose there is no harm done.” Privately, he also felt relieved that the highest-ranked member of his legal business was not someone he had to hide from anymore. Especially since she seemed to have a good relationship with Claude already.

“So, what’s Claude doing here?” Hilda asked, piercing through Dimitri’s thoughts of the same man. “I thought he died when Derdriu was attacked.”

“It is admittedly a long and personal story,” Dimitri gruffly answered, not willing to disclose more details than necessary. “But he has lived through a lot. I would appreciate it if… if you could continue to support him when he needs it.”

“No doubt about it,” Hilda assured him, her usual airheaded demeanour quieting just a little, just enough to promise Dimitri that she was taking this very seriously. “It’s always good to remember home in times of difficulty. If I can help him recall the place where he grew up and give him comfort that way, then it would be my pleasure to do so.”

“I would appreciate him having a friend here.” Remembering Mercedes’ advice about a change of environment made Dimitri feel confident about that decision. “I am undoubtedly his friend, but I am also looking out for him while he recovers. So… I think it would do him good to reconnect with people who have no strings attached.”

“That’s me,” Hilda giggled, taking a seat at her desk again as it became clear that the conversation was dying down.

“He must still lay low, however, so please.” As a last request, Dimitri made sure to stress the importance of Claude’s safety. “Please, do not mention him to anyone. To all but myself and my elite, he is still dead.”

“Got it,” she nodded, and then clicked her pen, drawing the contract in front of them again and shifting gears completely. “Now. Pressing matters forward; what should we do about this clause?”

…-…-…-…

Marianne called him on his desk phone when Claude was safely back on Dimitri’s office couch, napping the post-ictal exhaustion away, buried under both of their jackets.

“He admitted that he hasn’t been taking his meds like he should,” she revealed to him worriedly. “He did tell me this in confidence, but… I truly am worried about his mental state. I really urge you to keep an eye on him.”

“Did he say why?” Dimitri asked in a low voice, glancing over the top of his computer monitors to make sure that Claude wasn’t awake, not that he would be able to hear much at this distance. “He seemed motivated to get off of benzos as soon as possible.”

“That’s the problem,” Marianne explained sadly. “He tried to go too fast; taking half doses, and just once instead of twice a day. He wants to be off the drugs so badly that he’s rushing, but that’s even more dangerous. I don’t think he fully registers that we’re trying to take away from his body something that he’s needed to live for a half-decade. His brain is so dependent on benzos that he cannot function without them, and so we must be very, very careful with his weaning schedule.”

“He does not remember it having lasted five years,” Dimitri mumbled, mostly to himself. “It must not feel like a big deal to him.”

“That, or he’s simply fed up with the effect it has on him,” Marianne added. “Benzos are psychoactive, so they make him feel a certain way- drowsy, dizzy, slow, dissociated, lethargic, and so on. And he must associate that specific feeling with his trauma, so having to feel the same way while rationally aware that he is safe… It must be a difficult mindset for him to live with.”

“There truly is no other way to wean him off?” Dimitri asked desperately, rubbing his forehead to smooth out of the stress lines already beginning to carve across his young face. “No substitute drugs or alternatives?”

“I can ask Dr. Martritz once more, but I am fairly certain that there are none.” Marianne seemed pretty sure of herself, and Dimitri instinctively knew her to be right. “It will be a difficult few months of transition, and the only way out will be to go through it. The best we can do is accompany him.”

“I see. Thank you, Marianne,” Dimitri sighed, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. There was a weight on his shoulders that hadn’t been there at the beginning of the day, and he didn’t know if he could shed it so easily.

“It’s no trouble,” Marianne assured him, sounding a bit embarrassed. “Just… please keep an eye on him. Some of the things he said to me made me… uneasy. Keep an eye out for strange behaviour and thoughts.”

“I will.” Dimitri couldn’t help but worry when she put it that way. “I will keep you updated should anything else happen.”

“I appreciate that. Take care of yourself as well, Dimitri,” she wished, and then hung up.

Glancing at Claude once more as he set the phone down, Dimitri wondered if he had enough energy left to care for himself if he was too busy caring for his friend. He wouldn’t change it for the world, however. Claude looked peaceful and at ease when he slept, and if Dimitri had to fight an army to secure him that same peace of mind during his waking hours, then he would not hesitate to do as much.

Approaching Claude, he slowly squatted in front of him as to be at eye-level with his sleeping face. His eyelashes fluttered in his sleep, possibly dreaming, and he occasionally curled his fingers as if wanting to grasp something tightly.

He was beautiful, and Dimitri knew he was just as damaged as he was breathtaking. Somehow, however, that did not bother him one bit. He simply had to be patient.

“I will wait,” he repeated his promise to him, delicately brushing a strand of hair away from his face, and beholding as Claude stilled under his touch. “I just wish that you would allow me to help you.”

Predictably, there was no response from Claude, whose only uninterrupted sleeps came after seizures. Morbidly, Dimitri was glad that he could finally get some rest, and caressed his cheek with the back of his hand just once, just to feel him alive and warm, before standing up to return to his work.

His kingdom did not wait on any men- especially not one who ought to have been dead.

…-…-…-…

Several weeks passed without incident after the initial one. Slowly but surely, Claude stepped out of his bubble, speaking more to Dimitri and being more open with his emotions. Although he did not have much difficulty admitting when he felt unsafe or anxious, he still refused to speak of his experience in captivity, always shooting down Dimitri’s tentative attempts to start the conversation.

“Not yet. I’m not ready yet,” he would say, and there was logically not a single thing that Dimitri could say to contradict him.

He did, however, seem to be much happier, spending his free time with Hilda, and occasionally, whichever of Dimitri’s friends were around. Hilda told Dimitri that Claude had proposed a sustainable hiring plan to create jobs at Azure Moon for refugees from the ex-Leicester territories, and that she fully intended to review it with HR in order to put it into action. Claude especially seemed to get along with Ashe, whose daytime work as a valet for the Azure Moon building made him available for a chat on most days. Of course, whenever Dimitri overheard their conversations, it would be about contract kills and the best weapons to use for them, but… talking about those familiar topics seemed to be helping Claude step back into his old shoes, so he didn’t stop them.

It was difficult to move Claude around, considering that he still needed to remain hidden, although Annette had successfully led his false trail to the easternmost valley in Almyra, for Claude to supposedly have fallen off the face of the planet over there. According to her, the dark web was slowly coming to this conclusion, hitmen and bounty hunters slowly turning around and abandoning Claude’s trail one by one. However, for extra security, Dimitri wanted to keep him hidden just a little longer, until the world could forget that he ever existed.

It must have made Claude feel antsy, because he always asked to go out, to see things and do things outside the familiar walls of Dimitri’s condo and office. He and Dimitri could only go on late-night walks through the riverside park, letting the darkness hide their identities as they cradled warm coffee cups in their cold hands, allowing themselves a moment of peace. Claude had to wear a mask over his nose and mouth for extra security, but Dimitri could always tell from the crinkle in the corner of his eyes that he was smiling. They created tracks in the snow side by side, throwing stones into the water and watching their moonlit reflections ripple. Once, Claude dumped snow down Dimitri’s coat, and the two of them ended up walking home soaked when Dimitri tackled him into a snow bank, rolling around if only to enjoy the sound of his laughter.

And sometimes, sometimes, when they were truly alone, the sounds of the city left far behind and standing in the obscurity between two lampposts, Claude would pull his mask down and kiss Dimitri in the moonlight. Dimitri suspected that he purposefully made a show of standing on his tiptoes to reach him, mocha-sticky lips soft and sweet when they captured his, and he never tired of draping his arms around Claude’s waist, just to press him close, feel his weight against him, remind both of them that he would not be going anywhere anytime soon.

It took those several weeks for Dimitri to come to realize that this was what it felt like to fall in love.

He realized it when Claude sought to hold his hand during their moonlight walks, and he realized it when Claude had bad days, refusing to leave his bed and yelling at Dimitri to leave him alone. He realized it when Claude kissed him goodnight, and he realized it when Claude cried in his arms, shaking and sweating and throwing up with nothing to blame but the poison that he was willingly taking. He realized it when Claude brought him coffee at work, and he realized it when Claude quietly admitted that he couldn’t take it anymore.

He never elaborated what ‘it’ was, though, so although Dimitri undoubtedly let himself fall for him, he was never quite sure that it was the best for both of them. Claude seemed happy, though, and for now, in the absence of any other information, Dimitri would have to trust that it was enough.

And, of course, there was the sex.

Dimitri wanted to think of the sex as a category apart, because it never seemed to have any rhyme or reason to it. Claude always approached him at the most random moments, grabbing him after a long week at work, or when he returned from a business trip, or simply when his phone conferences lasted too long for his tastes. Dimitri never complained- both of them were really into it, and into one another, but he really would have liked to understand what went through Claude’s mind.

“By any chance, are you perhaps feeling jealous?” he’d asked once as he redid his pants, hoping to look passable before he needed to go to his next meeting shortly.

“Jealous…?” Claude had thought about it, still kneeling under Dimitri’s desk with some of his cum smeared on the corner of his lips. He truly seemed to consider it for a while before replying. “No, I’m not jealous. I think… I might just be scared.”

“Scared of what?” Dimitri had replied, alarmed, hastily tying his hair into a bun to make him look put-together. “Claude, this is serious. What is it that scares you so much?”

“You’re going to be late to your meeting,” Claude had replied without skipping a beat, getting up to head to the washroom to clean up. “I’ll tell you later.”

And Dimitri had gone, because he did risk being late to his meeting, although Claude never ended up telling him later what it was that scared him so much.

Dimitri had to go and find out by himself.

…-…-…-…

As the snow melted, Claude reached the finer stages of his tapering regimen. His withdrawal symptoms had become milder nowadays, no longer prone to massive panic attacks that left him dissociated nor mood swings that gave both him and Dimitri whiplash. Now in the second half of his battle against addiction, his medication dosages were decreased much slower, and although Claude was initially upset about going so slowly, Dimitri reminded him that within a couple of months, he had managed to decrease his drug dependence by half the dosage he’d taken for five years. In that perspective, it was quite a feat.

Their relationship grew, too, and hit the same plateau alongside Claude’s medication. They’d never quite discussed their bond, simply falling into it naturally, but Dimitri wanted to say that he loved Claude, and hoped that Claude returned the sentiment. They would have to talk about it at some point, put a label on their relationship and make it official, but he didn’t feel the need to rush it.

There was no rush; in retrospect, he’d spent his entire life falling in love with Claude, and it was only now that he had the opportunity to realize it. He could wait a little longer to announce it.

It was on a temperate spring night that Dimitri had his chance, finding himself free of any pressing matters to attend to for the first time in a long while. As the night was still young and Claude always seemed wistful about the world that came to life in the moonlight, Dimitri decided to take him out, properly this time.

He did not tell Claude where they would be going, and simply instructed him to dress warmly. While Claude got ready, he informed Dedue of his plans, and threw together a bag with all the extra blankets and throws he could scrounge from his minimalist condominium. Once Claude came out, wearing a turtleneck and skinny jeans, he wordlessly whisked him off into a car that the valet brought around to the main entrance.

“How come we’re riding the sedan?” Claude asked, slipping in when Dimitri held the door open for him. “Dedue’s not here, and he’s usually the one driving this thing.” He waited for Dimitri to throw his bag into the back seat and slip into the driver’s side. “My suspicion is that you’re taking me somewhere where we absolutely cannot stand out. Is it a casino?”

“How would you not stand out in a casino?” Dimitri asked rhetorically, laughing at Claude’s logic as he pulled out into the street. “It is the ultimate hunting grounds for the rich and powerful- and with an aura as intimidating as yours, all eyes would turn to you the moment you walk in.”

“Just gotta fine-tune that aura of mine, then,” Claude shrugged lightly, also amused. “We both know how good I am at deception- it would be a piece of cake.”

Dimitri didn’t dare agree, suddenly worried that he’d look too deep into Claude’s offhanded statement if he did. Instead, he patted his knee a couple of times, and then returned both hands to the wheel like a responsible driver. As he got to the highway, he pushed on the accelerator until the streetlights were only blurs in his peripheral vision, leaving the city and all its vices behind them for the night. In response, Claude said nothing, merely setting his hand on Dimitri’s thigh and let him take control.

Dimitri drove them an hour out of the city, winding up the mountainous slopes until there were no more lights on the skyline and the paved roads became gravel. Out in the Oghma mountain range, spring hadn’t quite come yet, but the small spattering of snow on the evergreens was no more bothersome than it was charming. They weaved through the smaller roads that cut through the mountains, driving through a stretch of dense trees before finally emerging under the night sky again. That was where Dimitri pulled over and brought the car to a stop.

“This is it,” he indicated, drawing Claude’s attention to the outside scenery. Claude turned as well, clearly thrown off by Dimitri’s choice of date spot, although he seemed to understand quickly when he stepped out of the car to inspect.

The area where they had stopped was on the edge of a cliff, fenced off with nothing but wooden panels. Below, the valleys carved between the mountains, stretching beyond their sight into the darkness, obscured trees rustling in the gentle wind. A small lake below, caught in between the ridges of the surrounding mountains, glistened in the soft moonlight, the occasional clouds passing overhead casting momentary shadows upon its placid surface. In the distance, the crickets chorused, not a single other sound disturbing their cacophonous symphony. The chilly air nipped at the tip of Dimitri’s nose when he stepped out of the car, but it wasn’t cold enough to be unpleasant.

He stepped forward to stand at Claude’s side, noting how he seemed mesmerized by the landscape of trees and mountains expanding far in front of his eyes. He had a distant expression, as if lost in the sight before him, the slow breeze ruffling his longer strands and making them hover delicately over his cheeks. He looked sad somehow, gazing upon the world that had been kept out of his reach for five long, torturous years.

Dimitri watched as Claude admired the ground, because that was what he knew to look at- and yet, it was not what Dimitri wanted to show him.

“Look up,” he whispered, looping his arm around Claude’s waist, and smiling softly at his surprise when he suddenly seemed to realize that there was a whole sky above just waiting to be admired.

And oh, how he admired it, eyes widening when he saw the first star, and then the next, and the next. So far from the city, in the complete darkness of a cloudless night, the skyscape opened up above them, stretching infinitely far with its heavenly bodies glistening across it. A band of faint stardust split the sky overhead, their entire galaxy extending an arm to paint the nightscape in a soft glow. Its jewel-like stars and moons and planets shimmered, gravitating around one another like dancers to the universe’s inaudible music.

Dimitri didn’t look up, uninterested in the cosmos above. Instead, he admired Claude’s eyes, upon the surface of which he could see that same cosmos reflected, and within which he could see a whole new universe expanding and blooming with every breath he took. He couldn’t hear the hum of the stars above, but he could guess that it was something similar; for the galaxy inside of Claude swayed to the tempo of his heartbeat.

When Dimitri looked at Claude, he felt something transcending affection, but he had no other term for it; none other than love.

“This is beautiful,” Claude breathed out, exhaling slowly as if to temper the emotions welling up within him. “Dima… I don’t think I’ve ever seen the stars so clearly before.”

“If you would ask it of me, I would spend my life trying to pluck them out of the sky for you,” Dimitri told him, boldly pressing his nose into Claude’s hair. He felt so relaxed, so comfortable with Claude’s shoulders under his arm, so happy with his warmth against his.

For five years, he’d convinced himself that he’d never find this sort of happiness ever again, and once more, hatching an unexpected plan out of the blue, Claude had managed to prove him wrong.

They swayed in place together for a minute or so, having gone quiet. When Dimitri eventually pulled away, he thought he noted a deeply pensive look on the other boy’s face before it turned into a reassuring smile.

“I brought a few things to make ourselves comfortable while we stargaze.” He pointed at the bag left by the car, stuffed full of blankets. “We can rest against the windshield if you would like.”

“That’s why you took the sedan,” Claude snorted, pulling away to go for the bag of blankets instead. “Because it has a larger front hood that we can lay on. Right?”

“Correct,” Dimitri chuckled, sharing in his humour as the two of them laid blanket after blanket over the hood and windshield. “Also, should we incidentally damage the car by climbing on it, it would cost me less to get the sedan fixed than, for example, the Shelby.”

“We’ll be careful.” Claude’s voice lilted as he put a foot on the bumper and hauled himself up. The car creaked under his weight, and Dimitri followed closely so that they both made themselves comfortable, half-lying against the windshield, with a perfect view of both sky and earth before them.

It took another moment of creaking for the two of them to shimmy against one another, finally ending up comfortably slotted into one another’s side, heads leaned together. Dimitri pulled one last blanket over them to top it off, making their setup feel toasty already.

“Thank you, Dimitri,” Claude said once they were settled, watching the repetitive glimmer of the stars hanging overhead. His muscles were tense, but his tone was peaceful. Dimitri, too, turned his gaze up, tracing the trajectory of an airplane soaring through the night sky, tens of thousands of feet above them.

“I’ve felt you to be too grounded recently,” he admitted, watching the plane eclipse itself out of his vision. “Everything seemed to be weighing you down, your head so heavy upon your shoulders that you never had the chance to gaze skyward.” Claude gave a tiny hum of acknowledgment to that, which was the best reaction he’d give to such an explicit observation. “I… I would like to help ease that burden from your shoulders, but… I fear I already know what you will say in response.”

“I’m sorry.” The apology seemed genuine, at the very least, Claude looking truly pained when his voice strangled in his throat. Dimitri glanced over at him just in time to watch his face fall, clear sorrow settling in the crease in his brow. “I just…”

“I know it hurts,” Dimitri sighed, pressing his lips to Claude’s temple softly, murmuring the words next to his ear. “But I wish you would allow me to halve that pain. That is what friends are for, is it not?”

“Friends, huh…?” Claude sighed out, oddly contemplative of the term as he leaned into Dimitri’s chest, clutching onto his sleeve with the tips of his fingers. “Is that what we are?”

“Undoubtedly,” Dimitri assured him, combing his hand through his hair to push the strands off his forehead. “And, perhaps in due time, we can be something else.”

Claude did not reply again, looking lost in thought. Dimitri gave him time to process his words, trying not to worry. As long as Claude remained at his side, he didn’t care what their relationship was called; he just needed him to stay, and nothing more.

But when Claude opened his mouth next, only a suffocatingly heavy sigh came out.

“Dimitri,” he said, sounding like he was taking years off his life just trying to pronounce his words. “Can… Can I…” he interrupted himself, chewing on his lip and refusing to meet Dimitri’s eyes. He looked anxious all of a sudden, wringing his hands together and picking at his cuticles, and his words seemed to get caught in his throat. “Can I, uhh…”

“Spit it out,” Dimitri urged him, hoping it wouldn’t be a terrible thought. Whatever it was that Claude needed to get off his chest, though, he would listen.

“I want to…” He really seemed to be having difficulty, uncharacteristic of his usual eloquence. Dimitri simply watched, worried, as he clenched his fists, took a deep breath, and sighed it out. “Dimitri, can I suck your dick?”

Everything stopped.

“Excuse me?” As if the vacuum of space had opened up around them, Dimitri needed a moment to register sound once more. When he blinked, trying to process if he’d heard right, Claude turned himself completely away from him, looking at the ground once more.

“I… A blowjob. Do you want a blowjob?” His voice shook audibly, although Dimitri wasn’t sure why. He couldn’t see his face with his back turned, but he suddenly felt apprehensive of the conversation looming over them like the inscrutable depths of space stretching above.

“No, not… Not particularly, no,” he stammered out, unsure what to say. “I was not really, uhh… in that sort of mood?”

“Oh.”

Claude fell into silence, but Dimitri could still hear his own pounding heartbeat in his ears like a war drum.

Something was coming, large and ugly and ready to kill.

“Then…” Claude hesitated again after a while, sounding absolutely torn apart by the words he was nearly forcing himself to say. “Do you…” He sighed out, exasperated and frustrated, as if he could tell that whatever he would say next was nonsensical. Dimitri didn’t snap out of it fast enough to stop him. “Do you want to fuck me instead?”

“No, Claude, I don’t, I…” The gears in Dimitri’s head began to turn, slowly at first and then faster and faster with each passing second until he could barely think about what to say. “I don’t- Now? No, not now, I don’t want that now.” He placed a hand tenderly on Claude’s shoulder, trying to pull him back towards him. “Why all of a sudden? This is so unlike you.”

“I just…” Claude was completely tense under Dimitri’s touch, reminding the latter of his earliest days of recovery, when his trauma was at its freshest and he isolated himself the most. He was suddenly terrified that they were taking leaps backwards with this single conversation, and he didn’t know how to stop it.

“Claude, what is this about?” Dimitri nearly pleaded, feeling in his bones that something was terribly wrong.

“I just don’t know…” the latter began, swallowing heavily. Dimitri was horrified to realize that he was holding back tears.

Everything was falling apart.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” Claude admitted shakily, “and that scares me to death.”

“What I want from you…?” Dimitri felt breathless, unable to process the words he was hearing. He didn’t know where to begin, especially as panic began to settle. “I don’t- Claude, I don’t want anything-”

But that was a lie, because Dimitri did want something, had wanted something for months, had been promised it over and over again without ever delivering, and this was the last straw.

Hearing something like that truly felt like a shot through the heart.

“Fine, I do want something,” he said, mouth dry and eyes wide as he grabbed Claude’s sleeve. “The truth. I want the truth, Claude. You cannot go on hiding everything from me, pretending that nothing ever happened, and then saying things like… like that, like...”

Like Dimitri was the one holding Claude against his will.

“Claude, tell me the truth!” He wasn’t even sure if he was demanding or begging anymore. He just knew that he had to know.

“I’m sorry-” Claude just said, snatching his arm away from Dimitri and jumping right off the hood of the car. His landing was a bit unsteady, completely out-of-character for a martial artist and marksman as skilled as he was, and he stumbled forward a few steps.

Dimitri was on his feet as well in a second, grabbing Claude by the shoulder and whipping him around.

“Enough!” he pleaded, and when his vision refocused, he realized that Claude was crying.

They were slow tears, cold by the time they curved to fall off his jaw, but somehow hurt more to see than the full-on sobbing Claude tended to do when his body was overwhelmed with withdrawal symptoms. There were no drugs involved with this distress.

For the first time, it was all emotion, and that was terrifying in itself.

“My brain keeps telling me things,” Claude rushed to explain, wiping his tears with the back of his hand only for more to come even faster. “Things that I know aren’t true, but there’s this voice- my voice, I think- inside of me, and it keeps yelling things when there’s silence, and I can’t… I can’t do it anymore, it’s driving me crazy-”

“I am begging you-” Dimitri’s voice broke as well as he cupped Claude’s face desperately. “Please, please just tell me what’s wrong. I cannot watch you suffer any longer.”

“Showing weakness spells death for people like us,” Claude let out a watery laugh, pulling away from Dimitri’s touch, only for the latter to catch his hands and weave their fingers together. He squeezed tightly, and Claude squeezed back. “I’m so tired of keeping quiet, but I know that there is no alternative. I’m sorry, Dima. There’s no way out for me.”

“That is false,” Dimitri insisted near-desperately, hoping that Claude would not pull away from him again. “Claude, look around you. We exist all alone out here, so far from the city, so far from all the people who want to either follow us or tear us down. I am the only one here with you, and you are mistaken to believe that whatever happened to you will change my perception of you.”

“Would you say that if you knew?” Claude laughed bitterly, not meeting Dimitri’s eyes.

“I cannot answer that if you refuse to tell me. And if you doubt my answer, then let me reiterate my vow to you.” Dimitri’s heart felt too full as he watched Claude hang his head, clearly breaking under the weight of their conversation. “There is not a single force in this universe that can drive me away from you; not our allies, not our enemies, and not even nature could stop me. Not even you could stop me.”

“That’s easy to say now.” Claude’s voice dropped a pitch, occasionally interrupted by a soft sniffle. “Dimitri. I’ve changed.”

“You have been saying as such since you came back,” Dimitri protested softly. “Yet, when I look at you, I only see the friend I thought I had lost. You may have changed, but you still mean the same to me.”

There was no answer on Claude’s end, as he still had his face turned to the ground, listening despite himself. Dimitri took the lack of protest as encouragement and took a deep breath to ask his burning question.

“What are you afraid of?”

“You,” Claude answered, just as softly.

“Why?” Dimitri’s heart squeezed tightly, making his chest hurt. He refused to let go of Claude, however. He needed to understand. “Have I done something?”

“You’ve done too much,” Claude let out a heavy sigh and raised his head, squaring his shoulders in apprehension. “It’s been months now. You put so much effort into finding me, so much of your time and resources into getting me better, and then all you did was keep me around for no clear purpose. You gave me a place to sleep and food to eat and bought my clothes, my phone, my laptop… Everything I own is yours.” He seemed to hesitate before backtracking a bit. “I know this sounds… trivial to you. By all means, it is. But that voice in my head, it just… it’s been screaming at me that I owe you something in return. It’s so loud sometimes that I’d do anything just to stop it.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” Dimitri repeated weakly, feeling dread settling in his stomach. “Why would you think that I did?”

“For five years, it was drilled in my head that there was a price I had to pay for being alive,” Claude explained, looking resigned. “That I had to pay for every breath I took. That my body was worth a lump sum, and that my name was worth twice as much.”

He seemed to hesitate on his next words, and Dimitri let go of his hands, if only to give them both some space. His heart was pounding against his sternum, heavy and suffocating. He didn’t know if he wanted to hear what Claude had to say, but knew he needed to.

“I’ll tell you what happened to me,” Claude began again, taking advantage of his free hands to hold onto himself tightly. “Those Who Slither In The Dark- the ‘Snakes’, as I dubbed them- retrieved me from the wreckage of my father’s law firm. A man, higher ranked, to my understanding, took charge of me and oversaw my medical treatment until I had fully recovered. Then, he locked me up in a warehouse with many other captives from Derdriu, where we were kept for several weeks.”

“For what purpose?” Dimitri itched to surge forward and hold onto Claude tightly, for both of their sakes.

“Human trafficking.” The answer had been obvious, but hearing it out loud really hammered it home. Dimitri felt nauseous. “It wasn’t anything that they hid. I spent weeks watching the people around me being groomed for whatever end had been intended for them. They were beaten, raped, starved, tortured in hundreds of innocuous ways, and I could do nothing but watch. I knew that my time would come soon, too. Eventually, the man returned, putting a price tag on my head. He said he had found an interested buyer in Albinea. I would have been shipped out within the week if all went well.”

“Then what?” Although hearing Claude’s story made Dimitri feel sick, he still wanted to understand. The pieces of the puzzle were clicking into place very smoothly now, but he did not want to make assumptions. He’d rather hear it from Claude.

“He changed his mind,” Claude shrugged, as if a stranger’s ownership of his body was no big deal. He looked distant from his own story, as if he was reading it out of a book rather than telling it from his impeccable memory. “It was easy to tell, from the amount of turnover there was at the warehouse, that the Snakes were turning a very high profit in the chaos that descended upon the Leicester territories after the fall of Derdriu. They were practically bathing in money, especially if every person they sold off was worth even a half of the price I went for. A few million more wouldn’t have changed much, so in the end, that man called off the contract, and kept me with him instead.”

“Why?” Dimitri felt useless, but he had so many questions and so much sorrow piling up inside of him that he couldn’t even articulate his thoughts.

“Pride, I guess.” It made sense, in its own morbid way. “The Golden Deer were the most powerful mafia in Fódlan, and one of the most powerful in the world. The Snakes managed to dismantle us in the span of a single night, with a single strategic strike, and claimed the rest of the province as their own in the coming few months. It was an overwhelming victory for them, and what better trophy to present to their allies than the only survivor of their conquest- the heir to the Golden Deer.”

“No…” His words painted a grim portrait, and Dimitri ran his hands over his face when he felt it go numb in the cold and in shock. “So… he simply kept you with him? For… for some twisted form of bragging rights?”

“That’s right,” Claude hummed, avoiding Dimitri’s gaze. “Think of an exotic animal. A parrot from the rainforests of Brigid, let’s say. Now imagine that it was a beautiful parrot, the last of its kind. How many people would jump at the opportunity of owning it? How many would give money and possessions, just to be able to flaunt the bird, show it off to their allies and business partners like a proof of their status? They would have circumvented laws and borders in order to obtain the parrot, so what message would they project with such a rare, forbidden animal perched on their shoulder?”

“That they are powerful,” Dimitri swallowed heavily at the rhetorical question, “and that they cannot be stopped by laws and economies when they want something. That they are not people to be trifled with.”

“The exotic animal would ultimately be a symbol of status to outside eyes,” Claude concluded grimly.

“And that’s what you were,” Dimitri completed, feeling his mouth go dry when it all began to make sense. “You were the exotic bird that they stole out of the ruins of Derdriu.”

“Yeah. A war prize, as proof of their absolute dominance over the country’s most powerful organized group, and a trophy to present to their allies like proof of their power.” Claude sighed, lifting his head just enough to give Dimitri a heartbroken little smile. “I was no better than an expensive dog, Dimitri. And for five years, I went where the leash took me. All I knew to do was heel at his command. He hit me when I barked and made me roll over to entertain his guests. There really was nothing else to it.”

“That’s horrifying.” Dimitri felt like the blood had drained from his face, and he wondered if Claude could see the outrage on his expression in the dead of night. His earlier sorrow was ebbing away rapidly now that Claude was getting into the specifics of his captivity, anger instead mounting inside of him instead. What had, at first, made him want to mourn Claude now made him want to avenge him. “Tell me who this man is, and I swear to you that I will spare nothing in my power to hunt him down and make him pay for what he did to you.”

“His name was…” Claude stopped to swallow heavily, clenching his fists. “His name was Thales. A cover name, most likely, but I never heard his real name. I’ve been trying to look into him since I came back, but it doesn’t seem like there is much to be found.”

“Where were you kept? Perhaps we could start there,” Dimitri suggested, gritting his teeth when he felt the frustration of powerlessness.

“I don’t know,” Claude scoffed bitterly. “Thales sequestered me in one restricted, underground part of his home and did not let me out. The day I ran from him, I saw sunlight for the first time in years. And then, I was much too intoxicated to make sense of where I was and where I went. It’s truly a miracle that I managed to make it to scheme my way to Derdriu in my rare moments of lucidity.”

“That is inhumane,” Dimitri said, running out of words to express how much anger he was trying to repress for Claude’s sake. “Claude. I’m so sorry. I wish I had known, and that I could have saved you from that.”

“What’s done is done,” he shrugged in response, not seeming comfortable in exploring that conversation full of regrets. “I don’t remember a lot of it, anyway, and I’m not interested in recalling what I do remember.”

“Your memory is notoriously impeccable,” Dimitri pointed out, frowning. “So how is it that you do not remember?”

“Must’ve been the drugs I was on,” Claude answered, still a bit detached in his responses. “They all made my head spin and made me so drowsy that I could barely react. Some of them made me forget. Others just made me pass out. I lost track of time in there. So, whether my memories are truly gone, or I have simply locked them away out of my own cowardice in facing them, I don’t know. All I know is that I don’t want to think about those years anymore, and it’s been really hard not to in the past few months that I’ve spent with you.”

“What does that mean?” Dimitri asked, his heart leaping into his throat all of a sudden. Alarms went off in his head, and he tried not to look as breathless as he felt. “Claude, what does that mean?”

“It’s not your fault,” Claude rushed to establish, the light returning to his eyes a bit, even though he simply looked worried. “Maybe I shouldn’t continue.”

“Don’t you dare,” Dimitri nearly growled out, surging forward to grab Claude’s arm in his panic. “Finish the thought, please.”

“I…” Claude searched Dimitri’s panicked gaze, swallowing visibly. “It feels the same,” he finally admitted, and Dimitri felt the earth crumble underneath his feet.

“What…?” he asked, feeling cold all of a sudden. His death grip on Claude’s arm loosened a little, if only in shock. “What do you mean by that…? That it feels the same…?”

“I’m inside, and I’m not allowed to leave.” Like ripping off a bandage, Claude took a deep breath and went for it, not meeting Dimitri’s eyes. “You saved me from the ruins of my father’s law firm, paid for my medical treatment, then took me home with you. I don’t do anything for you, but you keep me around anyway. You’ve bought everything that I own because I have nothing. I’m still on the same drugs that I was on with Thales, and even at lower doses, on most days, I walk around feeling the same faint, detached way I felt when I roamed aimlessly around his place.”

“No,” Dimitri breathed out, unable to formulate coherent thoughts. “No, no, no, that wasn’t- that was not my intention at all, Claude, please-”

“There are stark differences,” Claude continued, heedless of his distress. “You treat me well, like someone important. You never do the things he did to me. I know that you’re my friend and ally, really, but… it really all feels the same.” Raising a hand, he put it on top of Dimitri’s, still curled around his arm in a death grip. “It doesn’t feel like I’ve been released, Dimitri. It only feels like I am owned by someone different now.”

“No,” Dimitri choked out, not knowing where to even begin. “No, that wasn’t… I did not want to make you feel like that, believe me, I would never-” There was a surge of rage so powerful and unexpected that Dimitri had to stop talking to breathe. “I would never do that to you, Claude, never.”

“I know that,” Claude assured him, although he didn’t seem convinced. “But there’s that voice in my head that’s always screaming at me to be wary. That this is no different. It doesn’t feel like I am your equal, it doesn’t feel like I’m free of your expectations. With Thales, I knew what to expect. He wanted certain things from me, and whether or not I wanted it, I knew that I could give them to him. There was a certain peace of mind from that morbid certainty.”

“I do not want anything from you!”

“It doesn’t feel that way,” Claude reiterated sadly, looking exhausted beyond his years when he confessed it. “I’m always paranoid, on my toes because I don’t know when you’ll ask for something in return, and what you’ll ask. When the drugs hit hard enough to sedate me, I find myself wondering if I should be worried about passing out. My brain always works in the background, trying to puzzle out how you could possibly benefit from having me around when you are having me do nothing.”

“I intended for you to recover, to focus on nothing else than yourself,” Dimitri explained weakly, feeling himself trembling. He tried to figure out where he’d gone wrong, what he’d done to make Claude feel like this, why he hadn’t been able to figure it out earlier, but he couldn’t. “I wanted to keep you safe. I never meant to make you feel caged.”

“It wasn’t you, Dimitri,” Claude sighed out with some exasperation. “It’s me. It’s me, and I can’t get rid of these thoughts, no matter how much you tell me otherwise. I can’t shake off this feeling, no matter how well I know otherwise. It’s not you. It’s really all in my head.”

“Why did you not tell me earlier?” Dimitri then asked, feeling a little dizzy from the amount of disturbing information being thrown at him. “I could have done something differently, I could have done something to help-”

“Dimitri,” Claude interrupted, clamping his hand firmly down on his wrist, and lowering it away from him until there was an arm’s distance between them. Dimitri let himself be manipulated, his body cold and numb but his blood boiling with barely-repressed anger. “I was scared.” The admission was blunt, presented matter-of-factly as if Claude didn’t even care about his secrets anymore. “Short of having gone back in time, there is nothing you could have done to help. I was scared, of you, of the world, of myself, and sometimes, I still am.”

“I know that now,” Dimitri tried, feeling his long-time frozen heart splintering into pieces as he tried to keep Claude’s together. “What can I do to make you more comfortable?”

“I’m figuring it out.” Claude suddenly glanced away, something terribly similar to shame crawling onto his expression. Dimitri could discern it despite the darkness, and the apprehension that had given way to his anger now rekindled itself with fervor. “I just… need to feel like I don’t owe you anything, and… that’s a work in progress.”

“What would you even owe me?” Dimitri tried rationalizing, furrowing his brow in thought as he ran their few months together through his mind’s eye. There was nothing obvious that popped out at him through it all. “There is nothing I would ask of you. The only thing you have given me is your company, and it is all that I would have wanted-”

And it clicked.

Dimitri’s entire world crumbled into dust in the second it took for him to inhale a sharp breath.

And through the earthquake at his feet and the tornadoes in his head, Dimitri realized that Claude had lowered his head in shame. There could have been no more flagrant admission of guilt.

“How could you?” was all that Dimitri could bring himself to say, feeling his chest squeeze itself so tight that he was unable to breathe. He violently pulled his shaking hands away from Claude’s grip, clutching them against him as if having been burned by his touch, and Claude let him go, not saying a single thing to defend himself.

The fire of rage burned on, setting Dimitri’s veins alight and bringing his blood to a boil so painful that it nearly tore him apart where he stood. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t even formulate the words he wanted to say to express how irreparably heartbroken he was by Claude’s actions.

“You promised me,” he choked out, feeling like he would cry out of sheer anger. “You promised me that you wanted it, you promised- You swore that this was something you decided for yourself!”

“I did decide for myself,” Claude said, his voice devoid of all emotion, as if no part of Dimitri’s answer concerned him. It made the latter even more agitated. “I had to stop it somehow. It was just too much- the voices were just too much. I couldn’t keep waiting to find out what use you had for me, so I chose one for myself before I lost my mind.”

“You could have told me!” Dimitri felt desperate, eyes wide and horrified when he realized the implications of what had been happening between them for months. “You could have spoken to me like a- like anyone else would have. How am I supposed to feel, Claude? Do you realize what you’ve done?”

“I’m sorry.” Claude didn’t sound very sorry. He simply sounded resigned, as if having come clean had sucked everything out of him. There was no life left in the set of his shoulders, nor a single spark in his tone. “I was so afraid I could barely sleep. I couldn’t look you in the eye, and the uncertainty of existing around you drove me mad. I had to make it stop.”

“And instead of just talking to me about the waking nightmare you were living, your solution was to offer me sex?” Dimitri spat out the word as if it burned, and his head felt so heavy with all these devastating realizations that it may as well have. “And to what end? Did you think that I helped you because I wanted to sleep with you? Did you feel like you were paying me back somehow?”

Claude didn’t answer. Instead, he slowly wound his arms around himself, shoulders hunching inward as if desperately trying to disappear. Dimitri couldn’t see his expression, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to see it either. He only wanted to scream, let his frustration echo across the mountains for the entire world to hear.

“Answer me!”

“For five years.” Claude’s voice was tiny, barely audible over the sound of blood rushing through Dimitri’s inner ears. “For five years, the only thing I had left was my body and the name attached to it. With my mind buried so deep in sedatives, I only existed for the tattoo on my back, and for the ones who wanted to see it.” He let out a bitter chuckle that split halfway into a choked sob. “So that’s your answer, Dimitri. I had sex with you whenever uncertainty drove me mad because I’ve learned that it is the only thing I am still expected to give.”

The end of his sentence was punctuated by the sound of Dimitri whipping around and kicking the rim of the car’s tires. He didn’t register Claude’s violent flinch in the corner of his vision, he barely even registered the pain running up and down his leg- all that he was aware of was the all-consuming fury that had seized his every thought. He didn’t even know where to begin getting angry- whether at Claude’s self-assessment or at his perception of Dimitri, whether at his words or the defeated detachment with which he spouted them.

But when he turned to look at Claude, feeling all sorts of emotions for all sorts of reasons, he only saw how empty of a man he had become. Holding his own pieces together and impassively watching Dimitri wreak havoc, his dissociated demeanour spoke volumes about how terrified he felt, of how he would much rather escape than face the trauma of his own retelling and the chaos it had brought down.

And in that moment, when he saw how Claude stood still, barely even breathing as he expectantly waited for Dimitri to unleash his wrath upon him, he felt livid- but only towards one thing.

Only towards the people who’d forced Claude to become this.

“Claude,” he snapped, feeling like he would lose it. “Get in the car, now.”

“Just leave me here,” Claude replied easily. “The cat’s out of the bag- it’s okay to let me go now.”

“I don’t believe I stuttered the first time,” Dimitri growled at him, taking a few steps until he was standing right in front of him, towering imposingly over Claude’s meek figure. “I am taking you home, now. Get in the car.”

“Dimi-”

“Get in the car, Claude, or Sothis help me I will throw you in myself,” Dimitri hissed between gritted teeth, his hands shaking in his clenched fists. He knew he was losing his grip on his own emotions and hoped that he could get Claude to comply before he did something that he would deeply regret. “I am not leaving you behind. I promised that I would not let you go ever again, that I would not allow anyone to lay a single hand on you ever again, and I meant it but-” He interrupted himself to take a shaky breath in, then out. “I can’t talk to you right now. So, I will not repeat myself. Get in. Now.”

Claude stood silently in place for a few more seconds before slinking away from Dimitri gliding right past him with the practiced ease of someone who’s learned to disappear. Dimitri waited to hear the sound of a closing door, taking deep breaths to temper his fury until Claude was safely inside the vehicle. Then, he spun around on his heel, grabbing the blankets off the hood of the car and opening the driver-side door. Claude was not in the passenger seat, so Dimitri glanced into the rear-view to make sure that he was seated safely on the bench before throwing the blankets back towards him.

Claude didn’t say anything in response, but as Dimitri started the car, he drew one of the blankets around him and buried himself underneath it.

The car ride was short because Dimitri floored it as soon as they left the mountain range and got onto the highway back to Garreg Mach City. Yet, it felt like forever at the same time, if only because neither of them said a single word. Dimitri, still fuming and gripping the wheel tightly, occasionally threw glances into the rear-view to make sure that Claude was still alive, but that was as much as he could manage. The latter did not even move to untangle himself from his blankets, motionless in his cocoon of safety.

It truly felt like something irreparable had been done to their relationship, and Dimitri felt the full force of it when he pulled into the parking lot of his condo building, only to realize that he couldn’t see himself walking back in with Claude as if nothing had happened.

Yet, when he stepped out and opened the back door, Claude did not react to him, only drawing the blankets at the sound of it unlocking. Although most of Dimitri’s vicious anger had flown off in his therapeutic -albeit dangerous- drive back, he still couldn’t envision being around Claude right now. He felt a bit sick just thinking of it, of sharing space with the man whom he’d essentially been taking advantage of for the last few months.

He couldn’t do it.

“Come on,” he rasped out, stepping away to let Claude slowly exit the car. “I’m taking you home.”

“Okay.” It was all that Claude could manage to say, in a voice just as raspy and just as telltale of repressed crying.

They silently headed for the elevator, and Dimitri nearly punched the button to the penthouse. The elevator began to move, and Claude leaned away from him, against the wall.

“Claude,” Dimitri finally sighed, letting the last of his blinding fury ebb away from him, leaving only gut-wrenching sorrow in its wake. “My anger is not directed at you. I do not blame you for… for anything, even if my earlier words may have felt contradictory.”

The LED indicating the floor numbers kept going up, steadily climbing to the top of the tower. Dimitri watched the numbers change, and then turned to glance at his friend’s small figure.

“That being said, I need to breathe. I cannot fathom being around you, not without coming to terms with what you have told me.” Choosing his words carefully, he waited for the elevator doors to open up into the penthouse floor before continuing. “I am intending to stay elsewhere for the time being. I think that both of us could benefit from time apart.”

“Wait, what?” That seemed to re-ignite something in Claude, whose voice finally lifted with an inflection both desperate and confused. “Why?”

“I promised to protect you and ended up taking advantage of you in your vulnerability.” The thought of it made anger surge to the forefront of Dimitri’s brain, but he breathed deep to quell it once more. “I cannot trust myself around you, nor can I trust you around me. Not for now.”

“I’m sorry.” Again, Claude sounded close to begging, uncharacteristically subdued as if afraid of awakening Dimitri’s ire once more. “Please don’t go.”

“I am not heading far.” Dimitri did not look at him, unlocking his front door instead. “I will stay with Felix in this same building. If you really need me, you can always call me. Otherwise, you have the numbers of everyone who could help you in the meantime- Dedue, Ashe, Hilda, and so on.”

“When will you return?” Claude asked, seemingly understanding why he needed to leave. He stopped in the entrance to the condo and turned around to glance up at Dimitri, who was relieved to note that he looked much less distant now.

“Whenever I am ready to face you and what I have done to you.” Dimitri didn’t know if he could ever fully stop feeling wronged, but he could use the space until he stopped feeling betrayed. “Do whatever you like in the meantime. You do not depend on neither myself, nor anyone else to live.”

Claude seemed to contemplate those words, staying silent. His inscrutable gaze fell upon Dimitri, as if searching him for the answers that neither of them had, and Dimitri took this as his cue to leave.

“Be well, Claude,” he simply wished, and then turned back around to step out into the hallway.

He felt eyes on his back until the door fully clicked shut. Dimitri waited, then, waited just a few minutes longer, until he heard the deadbolt slowly click into place.

Only then did he head off, satisfied despite his heart aching fiercely. Every step he took away from Claude felt like simultaneous relief and regret. He needed to clear his head, however, because his uncontrollable emotions were still simmering underneath his skin- and until he could redirect that energy at something that deserved it, he could not risk himself being around the one he loved most.

Needless to say, Felix was not very happy when he was woken up at 2AM by his boss, who had clearly spent several hours working out in the gym before showing up at his right-hand man’s door. Nonetheless, despite all his swearing, Felix lent him some of Sylvain’s clothes and pulled out the couch while Dimitri showered, not asking any questions, and simply watching from the door to his room as the most feared man in Fódlan curled up into a ball of blankets to sleep his sorrow away.

…-…-…-…

Life went on, even though Dimitri avoided going back to Claude for a while. He frequently got news of him from Hilda, who had quickly become Claude’s best friend and confidante, glad to know that he was doing passably well, despite essentially having been abandoned.

Still, it wasn’t like he couldn’t take care of himself- or so Dimitri hoped. Hilda never told him exactly what Claude was up to, and Dimitri suspected that she didn’t know, either, but he trusted that Claude was keeping his nose out of trouble.

In the meantime, he buckled down on his work, re-taking the reigns on some of the money laundering operations that had fallen back in light of Dimitri’s recent concerns. He kept an eye on Those Who Slither In The Dark- the Snakes, if he were to call them like Claude called them- from afar, delegating to Annette the task of tracking down the man that haunted Claude’s memories, hoping that she would be able to start somewhere with only his name.

Thales. Dimitri would never forget it, and until he took the man down himself, he would not stop hunting him relentlessly.

It took about a week of separation for Dimitri to feel calm again, a week in which he became a near-permanent fixture in Felix’s condo, to the chagrin of both his second in command and his boyfriend. Felix even laid out a sheet on the couch when it became obvious that Dimitri had no intention of returning to his place after a night or two, and in return, Dimitri woke up early to have Felix’s coffee ready by the time he got out of bed. A fair trade-off, all things considered.

It was on a sunny morning, however, that he received Byleth’s call in his office, which was the last push he needed to return to Claude.

“I’ve found something you would possibly want to see,” the man said without even greeting him first. “It’s regarding Claude.”

“What is it?” Dimitri asked, steeling himself for the conversation ahead.

“Claude contacted me about a week ago, sharing information about the man who held him captive to aid in my investigation. His testimony was very useful- I was able to locate a Snake warehouse in ex-Goneril territory thanks to him. I did, however, come across something concerning during my research.”

“Is everything alright?” Dimitri frowned, not knowing where Byleth was going with this. He didn’t even begin questioning how Claude knew about Byleth- he did not doubt the superior intellect of the ex-heir to the Golden Deer mafia, after all.

“You knew that Claude originally had been sold to a politician in Albinea, correct?” Byleth asked, his tone betraying no emotion at the outrageous statement. Dimitri let out a hum, feeling his throat tighten at the memory of that conversation. “I came across parts of the original sales documentation. Most of it is damaged file, but I did retrieve a few things. Namely, pictures.”

“Pictures?” Dimitri felt his heart drop in his chest. “Of him?”

“Yes,” Byleth confirmed solemnly. “Retrieved from the negotiation talks between the man that Claude calls ‘Thales’ and his buyer. They’re, well…” He interrupted himself with a sigh, not knowing how to continue. “If you want to see them, I can transfer them to you.”

“Please do.” Dimitri hesitated for a few seconds and then ultimately gave into his morbid curiosity, unsure if he would be doing a disservice to his and Claude’s already-strained relationship in this way.

“I’ll send a download link to your inbox,” Byleth said without a second to waste. “I’ll continue trying to dig around Snake business, and I will let you know if anything else comes up.”

“Thank you for this, Agent,” Dimitri replied, truly grateful for all the help Byleth so readily offered him, despite them coming from two opposed parts of Fódlan’s inner workings. “Should you require something of me as well, you are welcome to let me know.”

“Duly noted,” Byleth hummed, and then hung up.

Dimitri barely put his phone down before his e-mail had already dropped into his inbox. He opened it on his phone and began the secure download, not even having the time to feel apprehensive before it was done. He hesitated one last time before taking a deep breath and opening his downloads folder.

There were three pictures. Dimitri tapped on the first one, feeling his heart clench painfully when it filled his screen.

It was a full-body shot of Claude, laying down limply on what seemed to be a carpet, limbs splayed haphazardly around him as if he’d crumbled onto the ground and had no more strength to move. He looked barely eighteen years old, his cheeks still chubby just as Dimitri remembered having seen him last before his untimely death. He wore a flowy white shirt that pooled around his crumpled body elegantly, open in the front to expose his collarbones and part of his chest, and although it was tucked into tight black leather pants, his feet were bare. His expression, however, was the most haunting part of it- eyes half-lidded and distant, as if he was dreaming with his eyes open, and traits much too relaxed for the situation at hand.

Dimitri swiped to the next picture, feeling a bit sick. His work was left forgotten in front of him, his attention undivided on the heart-wrenching evidence of Claude’s suffering before him. The next picture was a close up of his face, which seemed to have been taken at a later time because the shirt falling off his shoulders was different from the first one. On it, Claude had the same dazed expression, a hand clamped tightly around his jaw to tilt his head towards the camera a little. The picture seemed to have been taken in response to some sort of question, as on it, Claude’s face was devoid of makeup, exposing a few faint scars on his nose, hairline and cheeks, as well as subtle pinpoint bruising around his eyes. He looked completely dissociated, most likely having gotten the fight drugged out of him beforehand, and the glossed-over expression frozen on his youthful face gave Dimitri goosebumps.

He didn’t look like he could have fought it, even though he undoubtedly wanted to.

Unable to stare much longer into the younger Claude’s lost eyes, Dimitri swiped to the last picture.

Somehow, it felt like the worst one. On the picture, Claude had his back to the camera, on his knees and completely topless as to expose the tattoo across his shoulder blades. The person behind the camera had his hands tangled in Claude’s hair, pushing his head downwards as to curve his spine, the intricate golden deer seemingly coming to life in the dips and rises of his body. Claude was weakly clutching the wrist of the person holding him down, just conscious enough to be aware of what was being one to him, but not enough to stop it.

In reality, it didn’t look horrible- it wasn’t gruesome nor was it explicit, but the intention behind that picture was what got to Dimitri. The deer on Claude’s skin seemed to stare right at him, its black, beady eyes scrutinizing him, peering straight at him through the boundaries of time and space in order to accuse him. Dimitri felt it, felt shame and disappointment in himself for having done nothing while Claude was drugged and held down, humiliated and violated in many different ways by many different people.

And where he expected outrage and anger, he only felt a deep sorrow, not unlike the quiet acceptance he felt after mourning the loss of something dear. Dimitri didn’t have the energy to be angry anymore. He just wanted not to feel so sad.

Before he knew it, he’d picked up his desk phone, dialing a number he knew well.

“Hilda,” he greeted in a low voice, feeling emotionally drained after having glanced at those pictures. “Is Claude here with you today?”

“He’s stayed home today,” the young woman informed him. “He hasn’t been feeling too good these past two days. Might be sick, actually.”

“I will go see him, then,” Dimitri decided, and hung up with Hilda.

Without wasting another moment, he turned his computer off and grabbed his cellphone before making his way out.

He did not rush, for although he felt the pressing need to make things right, he was not worried that they eventually would be.

…-…-…-…

It took a few knocks at the door to his own condo for Claude to open up. Logically, he could have used his house keys to enter, but he didn’t want to impose himself on Claude- never wanted to in the first place. So then, when Dimitri heard the deadbolt being pushed back noisily, he took a deep breath and steeled himself for the conversation ahead.

Claude opened the door, and looked straight at Dimitri, back straight but gaze tired. He seemed to know why he was at the door, and stepped back into the penthouse apartment to allow Dimitri in.

Dimitri followed quietly, toeing off his shoes at the entrance and making sure that Claude could hear his padded steps on the heated floor. They walked to the central open area between the living room and the kitchen, and that’s where Claude stopped. Dimitri left a few arms’ length between them, staying quiet until Claude turned around and addressed him.

“So. What happened to make you change your mind about me?” he asked, his voice carrying no mirth as it usually did.

“I never changed my mind,” Dimitri corrected him gently, but firmly. “I have always felt the same about you, ever since the day we met as children.”

“You didn’t seem to like me very much the last time we spoke,” Claude pointed out.

“On the contrary,” Dimitri shook his head, “you are so dear to me that hearing how you have felt about me since your return was devastating.”

“I’m sorry.” Hanging his head, Claude looked at his bare feet, curling his toes nervously.

“It is not your apology that I want,” Dimitri assured him, his heart aching at the sight of his friend so distressed. “It was not your fault. I may have reacted badly at you, but it is not you that I am angry at.”

The other boy said nothing, still avoiding Dimitri’s line of sight, as if not believing that he could be forgiven so easily. It made Dimitri’s heart ache, truly wishing he could just steal all of Claude’s pain and bear it himself.

“I think that we are overdue for a talk,” he continued, watching Claude’s shoulders stiffen. “No more secrets. We should lay out all the cards as we should have at the very beginning, because I cannot bear to hurt you any longer.”

“I told you, it wasn’t you who hurt me,” Claude raised his voice a little desperately before lowering it back to something defeated. “I did it to myself.”

“Claude.” Saying his name out loud felt like coming home after a long time away. Dimitri had truly missed him. “Let’s sit. We both have too much to say.”

“Fine.” Still not meeting his gaze, Claude circled him to head to the living room. Dimitri waited for him to go first, then followed. “Did Agent Eisner put you up to this?”

“Not at all,” Dimitri assured him as they plopped down on opposite edges of the long couch. “He did mention to me that you had worked with him throughout the week, though.”

“I did.” Seemingly grateful for the change in topic, Claude raised his head. When it came to business, nothing could stop him, it seemed. “I called Edelgard a few days after you left and asked her for his contact information.”

“You spoke to Edelgard?” Dimitri’s eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“She’s not your enemy anymore,” Claude simply responded, as if it was that easy. “I thought that we had established that, what with me literally telling you that she had nothing to do with what happened to the Golden Deer. In fact, she seemed pleasantly surprised to hear from me, and was very forthcoming with the information I needed from her.”

“Still, this is Edelgard. You should not trust her.”

“I never said anything about trusting her,” Claude corrected him lightly. “But she doesn’t hate you, you know. She’s pretty reasonable, and seemed genuinely relieved to hear from me. You should talk to her sometime.”

“We shall see.” Dimitri did not intend to speak to her at all. Claude could probably tell that from his tone.

“We should have a tripartite meeting,” Claude continued. “The first one in nearly six years. We can invite Agent Eisner to it, too. You and Edelgard can make up, and then Byleth can tell us about the real enemy we should be fighting, instead of one another.”

“Again, we shall see.” Dimitri suddenly realized how far they’d strayed away from their intended topic of conversation, and cursed himself for falling for Claude’s redirection. Indeed, he seemed very comfortable, curled up casually on the couch and relaxed as he spoke. That wasn’t what Dimitri wanted from him. He would still continue to suffer if they didn’t unpack the truth now. “But Claude, all this is to say that I spoke to Agent Eisner today. He sent me a few things from his investigations.”

“Did he find anything useful?”

“He found some things about you,” Dimitri said, not answering Claude’s question. “Pictures of you. He sent them to me earlier.”

He stopped there, letting it sink in. Claude’s relaxed expression had tensed again as he contemplated Dimitri’s statement, and he truly seemed deep in thought.

“What kind of pictures…?” he finally ventured to ask, his voice a little quieter, possibly with repressed apprehension.

“They were ripped from Thales’ conversation with your original interested buyer.” It didn’t really answer his question, and Dimitri figured that he owed that much to Claude. “For a lack of a better word to describe them, they were… advertisements.”

“I see…” Claude seemed to have stilled, contemplating Dimitri’s words. He was idly chewing on one of his nails as he thought, going on for several seconds before sighing. “Do you… still have them?”

“Here.” His heart beating fast, Dimitri unlocked his phone, and found the first of the three pictures, opening it before handing his phone to Claude. The latter stretched across the couch to take it, and then retreated to his end, sitting in a half-crossed leg position that was meant to feign a casual attitude. Dimitri wished that he didn’t feel the need to hide his vulnerability around him, but at this point, felt that it was a bit much to ask.

Claude spent a few minutes looking at the pictures, swiping between them slowly and in silence. Dimitri respected that, simply analyzing the inscrutable look on his face.

“I was eighteen years old in these,” Claude finally spoke up, his voice devoid of emotion, as if he was reciting cues off of a script. “I’d forgotten, but now I remember when this was.”

Dimitri said nothing, letting Claude collect his thoughts.

“This first one was a setup,” he began, gaze blank as he stared at the picture. “It was the first time they drugged me with something strong, something like… a week and a half after Thales brought me back from the hospital. There’s an IV in the crook of my right elbow hidden under my clothes. I remember because the tape holding it in place got really itchy. Someone put makeup on me and styled my hair. Then, someone came around to take pictures of me. I remember… not being able to move, so someone else had to move me.”

He stared at the picture for a second longer, and then swiped.

“The other ones were later. Maybe… a few days later? Thales said he had gained an interested buyer rather quickly.” Dimitri didn’t doubt it. Not only was Claude a high-profile individual, he was also very young, very attractive, and very strong. Suited for any kind of purpose, and therefore prime merchandise for traffickers. “There was no makeup or styling for these ones. Thales walked into the room where I was being kept in the warehouse and grabbed me to take a picture of my face. He left as quickly as he came. I remember because I was so confused that I actually felt lucid.”

He swiped to the last picture, biting his lip harshly. Dimitri saw his throat bob when he swallowed heavily.

“He came back for this one a few hours later. Again, just walked in, had one of his men take my shirt off, and held me down to take a picture of my back. The angle was awkward so he had to take it a few times. It gave me time to process what was happening and try to pry him off. My grip wasn’t very strong, though, because benzos always give me trouble with my dexterity, especially when I was still not used to them. Anyway. The warehouse was really chilly. I think I was actually shivering in this one.” He let out a short, cynical laugh, as if all of this was amusing to see in retrospect.

“You remember.” It was an obvious statement. Claude had near-perfect photographic memory, so it was not surprising. Still, it wasn’t pleasant to hear.

“Of course.” Claude began to tap a few times on Dimitri’s phone, concentrated on his task. “I think I’d forgotten, but seeing these pictures reminded me.”

He stopped and hesitated, seemingly wanting to say something more, but too nervous.

“What is it?” Dimitri pushed him gently, sad to see him still trying to hold back.

“It’s visceral,” Claude murmured, grip tight around Dimitri’s phone. “The memory of this, I mean. I’d forgotten entirely, but now, I remember everything; kneeling bruised my legs for a whole week. I felt Thales’ phantom hand on my neck for days, and I always felt cold. One of my roommates lent me her hoodie because I wouldn’t stop shivering. She had an OD three days later, so I never got to return it to her. Everyone in that room stopped eating for a few days because we were afraid of overdosing next. I was okay, but there was a girl there who had been there longer, and she died of withdrawal seizures. Nobody helped her. We started eating again after that. I was taken away a few days later and I left the hoodie with the youngest one there. He was from Myrddin. Fourteen years old.”

He stretched out to hand Dimitri his phone back, and then curled up to bury his face in his hands. Dimitri glanced down at his phone, realizing that Claude had deleted the pictures, and then looked back up, worried. He was horrified of the story Claude told, but Claude was the one reliving it, and that was more terrifying that anything else.

Dimitri wished he wasn’t physically so far away anymore.

“I’m sorry you had to remember,” he said, not knowing how else to approach Claude’s distress. “Are you… are you alright?”

“I don’t know if I can do this, Dima.” The affectionate nickname tugged at Dimitri’s heartstrings fiercely. “I don’t know if I can remember five years’ worth of these feelings. These pictures were taken before Thales took possession of me, and so they are tame in comparison. Even so, I can’t-” His voice cut itself off, strangled. He cleared his throat to push through. “I don’t want to look at them. I don’t think I can survive having to remember everything else. I’d probably go crazy halfway through year one,” he tried joking, although the strain in his laughter didn’t make it very amusing.

“If that is the case, then you do not have to force yourself to remember,” Dimitri suggested, itching to cross the distance and hold him. Claude had drawn his knees to his chest to bury his face in them, and Dimitri itched to unravel him and release all that pain from the cage of his mind. “You do not have to think of it anymore. We have begun a new chapter of your life together; one in which the Snakes are the enemy, not your captors. So, if you wish it so, then you do not have to remember. Simply move forward and help me strike down the monsters who did this to you, to all of Fódlan.”

“Not knowing is more terrifying than knowing,” Claude huffed, but although he seemed to want to elaborate, he stopped there. Undoing himself from his position, he looked up at Dimitri.

“What can I do to help, then?” Dimitri asked, bearing his gaze and trying to search it for answers. “Tell me.”

Claude didn’t tell him.

Instead, he got off the couch, and walked over to Dimitri, stopping to sit right next to him on his knees. Their faces were suddenly not too far apart, and Dimitri’s heart flipped in his chest.

He felt simultaneously elated and saddened to see Claude like this.

“I need you,” Claude simply said, as if it was not the most loaded statement that he could have said. “This past week away from you taught me that. The voices get louder when you’re not there to contradict them. It hurts and I can’t admit it to anyone, so it’s like being stuck in a void and screaming without anyone ever coming to help.”

“Why did you not call me?” Dimitri asked, feeling his throat tighten at Claude’s vulnerable admission. “I told you that you could, should you really need me.”

“I said horrible things to you,” Claude began gravely, “and I did something inexcusable for months. I took advantage of your feelings and your trust, and I used them to selfishly make myself feel better. You weren’t wrong to be angry. I haven’t treated you right at all since I’ve come back, so giving you some time away from me was the least I could do to start making amends.”

“There is nothing to amend for,” Dimitri insisted. “All I want you to promise is that you will talk to me from now on. Please, do not ever again put me in a position where I have to harm you, knowingly or otherwise.”

“I can’t promise that I’ll always say everything, but I do swear that I will never hide my intentions towards you ever again. It was my mistake, a stupid decision I made because I was scared and insecure, and I can’t do that to you anymore.”

“I am glad to hear that,” Dimitri said truthfully, although he didn’t feel quite reassured just yet.

“Can I ask one last selfish request?” Claude put his hand out, and near-instinctively, Dimitri held it. Claude entwined their fingers tightly, letting a sad smile wash over his face. “I… Can I ask you to hold me a little bit?”

“Why?” Dimitri asked, furrowing his brow. He would not have questioned it before everything happened, but now, he felt like he should be looking for an ulterior motive in every one of Claude’s actions.

“I…” Claude bit his lip nervously. “I just… missed you. That’s all.” He let out a heavy breath, as if admitting it had been a herculean task. “That’s all.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“And you are not just asking this of me because you are trying to take control over a situation that has left you feeling vulnerable?” Dimitri asked again, perhaps a bit harsh, but still wary.

“No.” Claude at least had the decency to flush red with shame. “I’m sorry. I don’t blame you for asking, but that’s… that’s not it. I’m just…” he sighed again, seemingly getting a bit fed up. “Dimitri, I’m anxious, so for Sothis’ sake, can you please just hold me?”

“Come,” Dimitri beckoned him without any more hesitation, not having intended to reject him in the first place, and pulled him right into his arms.

As he laid them down against the arm of the couch, Claude fell right on him, slotting his chin over his shoulder and clutching his dress shirt. Dimitri encircled him with his arms, pressing him firmly against his chest with a steady pressure on his back.

“I’m sorry,” Claude said once Dimitri couldn’t see his face anymore, his voice quiet even though it was right next to Dimitri’s ear. “I’m getting better. I’m feeling the effects of the drugs less and less, and with every dose decrease I feel a little more lucid and in control. The first while was very difficult, but as time goes by, I’m hearing less and less of the intrusive thoughts, and I’m getting less withdrawal symptoms. I still feel a bit moody and anxious, but the insomnia’s gotten better. I’m getting better, I promise.”

“I know,” Dimitri replied, feeling pride swelling in his chest. He tried to pull away to look at Claude, but Claude firmly pressed himself down, still out of sight.

“I already explained what happened,” he continued, swallowing audibly, “but I don’t think I told you the most important part.”

“What about?” Dimitri’s lips pressed into a thin line as they revisited the topic.

“Every single time we slept together, I truly and entirely wanted it,” Claude told him, twisting his hands further into Dimitri’s shirt. It would probably leave permanent wrinkles. “I did ask you for sex when the drugs hit too hard and made me too anxious about the uncertainty of, well, everything… and I did that because it was my brain’s messed up way of finding some form of familiarity when I was thrown out of my comfort zone, even though that comfort zone was a fucked up place to be in the first place.”

“I know that.” Now he did, not that hearing it again made him feel any better. Dimitri still hated everything and everyone who had hurt Claude badly enough for him to believe that this was his only way out. “You said that the time you spent with me felt like the time you spent with Thales. Now that we have established how deeply that hurt me, what is your point?”

“I’m sorry,” Claude whispered, stiffening in Dimitri’s arms. He didn’t pull away, though, and as messed up as it was, to feel so much bitterness and hurt and to still want to love him, Dimitri held on tight. “It’s just… Sex with you was good. It’s never been good. It’s always hurt, it’s always made me feel heavy and disgusting and unimportant, but you…” Claude took a deep breath to steady his nerves, and Dimitri felt the urge to squeeze him so tight that he forgot the rest of the world. “From the first time onward, you wanted to look at me. You were careful and you were good to me, and that’s not…”

“… something you are used to,” Dimitri completed when Claude’s voice strangled itself into silence. He sighed heavily and raised a hand to Claude’s hair, scratching at his scalp slowly, soothingly. “I’m terribly sorry, Claude. For everything. And I am sorry for not controlling my temper around you.”

“It’s fine,” Claude shrugged lightly. “I feel good when I’m with you. That’s what was critically different, and the reason why I willingly offered to have sex with you. You make me feel important, like I actually exist, and I haven’t had that in a long time. So, Dimitri… I know what you’re thinking.”

“What?” His voice was a little weak, nervous about Claude’s assessment.

“You’re wrong if you believe that you took advantage of me,” Claude pushed himself away from Dimitri, just far enough to look at him. With him on top, his hair fell forward, framing his tan cheeks with soft brown locks, and Dimitri itched to brush them away from his face. “I was the one who took advantage of you, and wanted every moment of it. I’m sorry I couldn’t bring myself to do it right and just tell you.”

“I forgive you,” Dimitri said, even though he felt like he didn’t actually mean it. Not yet. “But Claude, we cannot ever have this happen again. I thought I had lost everything and will be eternally grateful that you are back by my side like a stroke of destiny, but I cannot do this again. I refuse to.”

“I won’t do it again,” Claude promised breathlessly, untwisting one hand from Dimitri’s shirt to cradle his jaw. He seemed a bit nervous, and that was exactly what Dimitri wanted to prevent.

He caught Claude’s wrist before he could lean in to kiss him, and was firm in stopping him. Instead, he sat up, Claude moving to sit as well, both of them shuffling awkwardly until they were no longer lying down on top of one another, but sitting face to face.

“Dima?” Claude asked, still sounding a bit worried.

“It’s not that I do not want you anymore,” Dimitri assured him, letting his wrist go. “But I cannot, in good conscience, touch you anymore until you are off the drugs and back in your right mind.”

“Wait, no, it’s not that bad,” Claude insisted, picking at his fingernails nervously. “It’s honestly when the benzos peak that I get the woozy, floaty dizziness that reminds me of Thales. After that, my head feels fine.”

“Still, I do not want you to associate any more of me with the people who stole your life from you.” Dimitri didn’t think he was being unreasonable, even if he, too, disliked having to set this boundary. “I will wait for you, Claude. I promise. It will only be a few more months until you are tapered off the drugs.”

“You’re right.” Sitting back on his haunches, Claude seemed defeated, but also at peace with the decision. “I’ll be patient. Thank you.”

“Furthermore,” Dimitri went on, crossing his arms, “we must find a way to get you out of these four walls. Being confined was what you said contributed to your anxiety, correct?”

“Yeah, but I know it’s for my safety,” Claude nodded. “There’s not much to be done about it. Although…” He stretched out the last word suggestively, and Dimitri’s heart flipped in his chest when he saw the familiar sparkle of mirth in his eyes.

“Have you already thought of something?” he guessed, unable to repress the smile that bloomed on his face at the sight of Claude’s usual behaviour breaking through.

“Maybe,” Claude teased with a chuckle before quieting down. “But you might not like it.”

“Tell me,” Dimitri prompted. “I know this is a difficult position to be in, so I will try to understand.”

“Let me preface it with the logic behind it,” Claude began, sitting back in a relaxed cross-legged position. He still had the mischievous look on his face that Dimitri loved so much. “We need to find a way for me to go outside and live my life without broadcasting to the Snakes that I’ve returned. Right?”

“Right.”

“So, we’d have to make me into someone completely different. Someone they would never expect me to be.” He seemed to have given this a lot of thought, although he did have an entire week alone to reflect, Dimitri supposed. “Annette already helped lead my trail off to die in eastern Almyra, and there hasn’t seen further activity since, so I think I’ve successfully been presumed dead. Now, I just have to resurface as someone that they would never associate with the old Claude.”

“Tell me what you have in mind,” Dimitri agreed, ears wide open.

“I could pose as your boy toy,” Claude suggested, averting his gaze in a telltale move that he knew to expect Dimitri’s reaction.

“Excuse me, what?” Dimitri wasn’t sure he had heard right. “What do you mean, my ‘boy toy’?”

“Like, the term, or…?”

“No, I know what a ‘boy toy’ refers to,” he spluttered, feeling hot in the face all of a sudden. “I am just… confused as to how you came to that conclusion.”

“How would you have described me before I disappeared?” Claude asked, seeming unsurprised by his reaction.

“I would say… powerful,” Dimitri enumerated slowly, trying not to stutter, “skilled, intelligent, cunning, proud…”

“And… which one of those would I be if I laid down in your lap all day and only opened my mouth to tell you how handsome you are?”

“… None of them,” Dimitri reluctantly agreed, although he sighed. “Still, I feel that there are… less humiliating options to explore first.”

“How humiliating can it be?” Claude replied casually, not realizing the impact that his words had on Dimitri. “This is what I’ve been doing for five years. I don’t mind doing it for a little longer.”

“I mind,” Dimitri insisted, frowning. “I just said that I did not want to put you in that position ever again.”

“I’ll wait until I’m off the drugs, until my head’s all mine again, and then we can introduce me,” Claude suggested. “It won’t be anything like the past five years, Dima. I promise you. There is nothing I would love more than to play the part of your expensive and exclusive escort, because there is no better role for someone who needs eyes off of him.”

“I am not sure I could play the part…” Dimitri pointed out. “I would not be able to treat you like a lesser. I don’t want to.”

“You’ll learn,” Claude shrugged casually. “It’s not that hard.”

Dimitri’s entire chest felt like it had been sucked into a void, painfully twisting his heart and stealing breath from his lungs.

“I wish you did not say that so easily,” he said, clutching at his aching sternum, fingers twisted where Claude’s were a few minutes ago. “You should not give the right to anyone to hurt you.”

“I’m not,” Claude assured him, knowingly watching him struggle with himself. “The only power I’m handing over is to you, and that is because I know that you will not hurt me.”

“I won’t,” Dimitri reiterated, just because he needed to hear himself say it, too. He felt like his hands were shaking under the weight of the responsibility being handed to him.

“It’ll be foolproof, Dima,” Claude reassured him softly, and Dimitri couldn’t help but believe him, for none of his schemes had failed just yet. “The Snakes don’t consider people like me to be human. If any of them were to see me kneeling at your feet like a pet, they wouldn’t even glance twice, and I know that better than anyone.”

“I know.” And Dimitri felt like as long as he knew, it would not stop hurting.

“And, if I’m basically invisible, then you can bring me around, take me outside and even to meetings, and all I will do is make you look powerful and merciless. I get to go out, analyze and observe the people in your circles, and you get to project a fearsome image of someone who knows that they are untouchable.”

It wasn’t a terrible plan overall, if Dimitri glossed over the fact that he’d have to treat Claude as an object every time he took him into the public eye. Still, Claude was right. In Fódlan’s underground, where it was all too easy to own someone the way you owned a shiny new car, nobody would think too hard about Claude’s constant place at Dimitri’s side.

“Unbeknownst to the people who look up at the prince, the one kneeling at his feet is the king,” Dimitri mused out loud, which drew a genuine smile from Claude.

“That’s exactly it,” he nodded proudly. “Though I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself a king. Maybe something more… subtle.”

“You are a king to me. The rest is all semantics.” Finally, Dimitri extended his hand towards Claude. “Alright. I suppose that this is our best bet. It’s a deal.”

“’It’s a deal’, he says,” Claude mocked him amusedly, looking down at his hand and then grabbing it, although instead of shaking, he pulled Dimitri in. With a surprised noise, Dimitri fell into his arms, and Claude embraced him tightly. “We don’t need to shake on it like a business transaction. You’re mine and I’m yours, and we can leave it at that.”

And despite all the insecurities that Dimitri still had, all the worries and considerations that were lined up in his head like subjects to discuss in a meeting, he was also so relieved that the solutions to his concerns seemed to be falling into place. From here on out, things would get dangerous, and Claude’s last few months of withdrawal would be difficult for both of them, not to mention the critical transition period where Claude would be reintroduced to the public eye, and during which the novelty of his appearance would be the most dangerous factor to consider in keeping him safe.

The future had a lot in store for them both, but at least Dimitri knew for certain that they would be walking down that road together. So, taking a deep breath, he let serenity wash over him and returned Claude’s embrace, feeling the man that he loved melting into his arms as if it was where he belonged.

Claude was his, and he was Claude’s, and he simply left it at that.

…-…-…-…

“He’s a pretty thing.”

Dimitri glanced up from where he sat, spread out on the leather couch of the reception hall with a glass of champagne in his hand. Standing next to him, Dedue gave a stern once-over to the newcomer before deeming him safe. Dimitri didn’t quite recall the name of the man addressing him, as he was much too tired to be expected to remember all the guppies swimming around at his 24th birthday party. As long as he knew the big fish that Claude suggested he invite, he would be alright.

“Indeed. Imported from Almyra as a present for myself,” Dimitri answered, and then turned to look at Claude, who was sitting next to him, dressed in clothes more flowy and revealing than Dimitri would personally have liked. He had to admit, however, that showing so much skin, whether it was through his unbuttoned shirt or his tight latex shorts, really took the attention away from his face, which was the most important part of him to keep unnoticed. He had changed in appearance since resurfacing almost a year prior, having grow his hair a bit as well as a neatly-trimmed beard, on top of all his new tattoos, so at first glance, it was a bit difficult to tell.

While he was lost in contemplation, Claude gave him a lazy smile, eyes hooded and teasing as if daring him to do something, and Dimitri did. Grabbing Claude’s chin as roughly as he could bring himself to do, he dragged him close and kissed him fiercely.

He knew Claude very well already, and so he knew from the way he moved underneath him that he was liking the whole thing. Still, Dimitri wasn’t quite warm to the idea of treating him like an object just yet, so he stopped rather quickly, and instead tucked Claude against his side, throwing a possessive arm around his shoulder instead.

“I see,” the man said, clearly thrown off by Dimitri’s shameless display. He adjusted his round glasses and bowed to the mafia boss, which was a ridiculous sight as he was surely double Dimitri’s age. “Well, I simply came by to pass on my well wishes the Prince of Faerghus. Even so young, you are prosperous and powerful, and may your next year of life bring even more of the two.”

“Undoubtedly so,” Dimitri responded, enjoying seeing the man squirm under his deathly glare. He handed his champagne to Claude for him to set down on the table. “Do enjoy the party.”

“Of course, thank you, Mr. Blaiddyd.” With another short bow and not a single glance back at Claude, the man left in a hurry, back towards the gaggle of people who were dressed finely and were conversing with wine or champagne in their hands.

“That man is a programmer,” Claude murmured into his ear, leaning in suggestively to make it look like he was nibbling on Dimitri’s earlobe. “Freelance, not very well-known.”

“Why did you add him to the guest list, then?” Dimitri asked in a low voice, petting Claude’s hair.

“Appearances,” Claude explained. “If we show that the Blue Lions are open to business with freelancers, we will discourage a lot of programmers from taking jobs against us because they would not risk getting onto our blacklist. There are a lot of people here who are freelancers, exactly for that reason.”

“I see,” Dimitri nodded subtly, eyes darting around the extravagant reception hall, scrutinizing every guest that had attended his party. “And you told me that you managed to invite the Chief of Adrestian Regional Police. I have yet to meet him, but I expect him to come around. Is there something I should be saying to him?”

“Just be pleasant and wish him well on his retirement,” Claude suggested, running his hand up and down the front of Dimitri’s crisp white dress shirt, careful not to wrinkle it. With the friction, the new tattoo centered just below his collarbones ached, the singular word reminding him of his place. “If the Prince of Faerghus treats the Adrestian Police like his allies, then it’s a step further towards reconciliation with Edelgard. He’s also currently training the new Chief who will take over, the young heir to the Aegir family, who are typically very close to the Hresvelg household. It’s in our best interest to be on good terms with Adrestian Police.”

“You truly are the ace,” Dimitri sighed out, satisfied, and turned his head to press a kiss to the tattoo right underneath Claude’s left eye; a spade. He had a tattoo of matching style underneath his right eye, a tiny crown stylized the same way, and so when they looked at each other, it was as a prince and his ace of spades.

“I do what I can to help out,” Claude hummed, his throat bobbing. Dimitri’s eyes were drawn to the arrow tattooed up his throat, its tip buried underneath the collar and leash encircling it, and he admired the rose tattooed on his left trapeze as well. His chest was covered in brush strokes and slices of ink, drawing attention to his flawless skin and muscles hidden underneath his flowy white shirt.

Of course, his back was completely covered, and that was not something they would ever compromise about.

“You feeling okay?” Claude asked, laying his head down on Dimitri’s shoulder, careful to avoid the freshly-tattooed sun on his neck. “Not too hard, I hope?”

“It’s only hard to see you act so naturally while I struggle,” Dimitri admitted sheepishly. “I hope I have not hurt you.”

“Not at all,” Claude assured him softly. “I like it, actually. You being so attentive with me makes me feel valued, to your eyes and to no one else’s. Plus, I get to observe and plan out our next move without being disturbed, and people-watching is really all the entertainment I need.”

“You truly are something,” Dimitri sighed, although when his hand fell on Claude’s waist, he felt completely at ease. “I am glad you are here, and that you are better.”

“We can only go up from here,” Claude agreed, closing his eyes and letting Dimitri admire his mascara-curled lashes from up close. “Now, look up. The woman approaching you is a fence, mostly international in Almyra and Albinea. She used to work with the Golden Deer on occasion and her prices on stolen goods are excellent. It’s in our best interest to explore business opportunities with her.”

“Good.” Dimitri pressed a kiss to his glossy lips, and then turned to glance up, just in time to meet the eyes of the woman in question.

In the moment it took for Dedue to clear her person of threat, Dimitri slipped back into his mafia boss persona, as easily as he his slid his hand around Claude’s waist, gripping tight. Playing his part as well, Claude melted against him, cocking his hip out suggestively and watching her approach with an easy smile.

“Happy birthday, Mr. Blaiddyd,” she wished him as she approached. “I see you’ve chosen a lovely present this year. Have you picked a name yet?”

“Inconsequential,” Dimitri replied sharply, although he was far from meaning it. Claude knew that, and made a low, pleased hum next to him regardless of his harsh words. “I am pleased that you were able to come. Please enjoy the reception, and if you should be so willing, I would be happy to contact you in the next few days to discuss potential business proposals.”

“That sounds agreeable,” she agreed, raising her glass of red wine at Dimitri as a toast. Dimitri put his hand out, and Claude immediately deposited his own glass of champagne in it so that he could toast to his new potential business partner.

“Enjoy your evening,” he wished her, and watched her go. He took a sip from his champagne and then handed it back to Claude, who set it down on the table once more before returning to his side.

Once the attention was off of him, Dimitri sighed, and threw his head back against the couch.

“Why so gloomy?” Claude teased, taking advantage of his exposed neck to nibble his jaw. The ticklish sensation made Dimitri tighten his grip near-painfully on Claude, drawing a squeak from him. “Come on. It’s no party like that.”

“I am simply a little tired,” Dimitri answered, lifting his head to steal a kiss from Claude again. “Playing all of these roles at once is exhausting.”

“Being 24 sure is difficult, huh?” Claude teased, earning himself a pinch at the waist, deliberate this time. “Alright, alright, fine. Be gloomy if you like.”

“I just wish it would be socially acceptable for me to slink away into the night at this time,” Dimitri mumbled. “I think I have had enough.”

“I know you’re in a rush to get me into our hotel room, but the night is still young,” Claude chastised amusedly, dropping his cheek to Dimitri’s shoulder once more. “We still have pretenses to keep up. And besides, we have all the time in the world. Slow down a little.”

“All the time in the world, you say?” Dimitri repeated, dropping a kiss to Claude’s forehead before realizing that he had broken his character. Hopefully, nobody had glanced his way.

“Well, yeah,” Claude nodded sagely. “All is going well. We’re going to pull this off, and then we can start working on dismantling the Snakes. You’ll never have to say goodbye to me ever again. So for now, let’s slow down and enjoy the time we have together in plain sight.”

“You’re right,” Dimitri acquiesced, and put his hand on Claude’s back, fingers splayed over where he knew the golden deer tattoo to be.

Dimitri, too, hid something in plain sight, like Claude hid himself in front of all. He didn’t know if Claude could tell, nor if he was ready to hear it, but Dimitri rubbed circles into his back, thinking to himself that he loved him, he loved him, he loved him.

But that, too, would be a chapter for another day. There would be a time and place for everything eventually. For now, looking back to see how far they’d come, celebrating their successes and enjoying what they had would be enough.

And they had each other, clinging to that knowledge despite all else being uncertain.

“Here’s to never saying goodbye,” Dimitri repeated, and in plain sight, leaned down to press a loving kiss to Claude’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, starting this chapter: I'm gonna write a sex scene >:)  
> Me, actually writing the sex scene: mom come pick me up im scared
> 
> Benzodiazepine withdrawal is so bad. I was looking it up and it actually takes many months to taper it off safely. I'd go crazy if I was told that, and I don't blame Claude for trying to cut corners. 
> 
> We also got a look at how Claude's freaky memory works! So now you know why, in episode 1, he was so reluctant to remember all the info he stole from Thales. If he pictures the document he wants to remember, he'll really remember everything that was happening at that time, and then before and after it, and that would force him to relive his five years of captivity all at once if he isn't careful. Big yikes. 
> 
> Of course, DimiClaude aren't at their healthiest here. Claude's coping strategies are incredibly self-destructive and they're hurting Dimitri, too, and Dima has some serious issues with managing his emotions, so it's dangerous for him to be around someone as unstable as Claude. Either one of them could set the other off, so they have to learn to manage their respective traumas and insecurities in due time. The next four years, thankfully, are easier for them. They grow together and learn to love each other, and it's mentioned in episode 1 that Claude rarely thinks about Thales and his captivity in those 4 years, which like... is avoidance, again, not a great coping strategy, but at least it's not emulating his long-standing trauma and trauma-response behaviours in order to feel more secure. Which, like, you know. Is not cool. Fun fact; hypersexuality can be a post-traumatic behaviour as well, which is... probably a bit of what Claude's exhibiting. 
> 
> As a random sidenote, Hilda is Claude's best friend, no arguments. Having a friend to rely on outside of Dimitri, who is arguably his lifeline, is so important for Claude's recovery. He needs someone who is not related to his trauma at all to support him, so that if he needs a break from Dimitri, he can go to someone else. He can go to Hilda and her Leicester dialect and mannerisms and find solace int hat nostalgia instead. God, I love Claude and Hilda <3 Oh, and the dialects of Fodlan are based off of Korean dialects lmao. Basically, each province speaks a different dialect, and the capital, Garreg Mach City, has its own, simplified dialect that everyone in the country can speak for easier communication. All official communications are done in Garreg Mach dialect. 
> 
> And that concludes the second episode of the Danger AU! I hope that answered a lot of questions that you guys had after the first episode. It was a really difficult one to write, but really necessary to establish the rationale behind Dimitri's and Claude's separate character development, as well as their duo dynamic, as a couple and as partners in crime. I don't intend on writing any more retrospective pieces for the Danger AU, unless y'all suggest a great topic to cover from their childhood or something, so it'll be forward march from here on out. Of course, I'm open to all suggestions!! If there is something you'd want to see me write next, please let me know! In the meantime, I'm going to take a quick break from the Danger AU and go back to my regular FE3H writing, but I won't forget this series.
> 
> Thanks for reading such a HUGE fic and accompanying me on this wild ride. I hope you enjoyed it, please don't hesitate to leave me some feedback, or tell me about your favourite bits, or suggest some more topics for me to cover next! Thanks so much for your support everyone <3
> 
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> -SS

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to hurry it up with the second chapter, I think everyone's anxious about it (including me lmao). We're super short-staffed at work these days tho so I can't guarantee a quick update ): Speaking of which, I'm a healthcare professional, so you know I'm not afraid of discussing the nitty-gritties of medical care in my writing. Hopefully it doesn't get tedious to read. Basically, Claude's biggest issue is drug withdrawal right now, benzo withdrawal is no joke. He was kept sedated for 5 years with highly addictive medications, so of course he'd have incredible withdrawal effects. In fact, my educated guess is that he'd likely have to taper his benzo consumption over many months in order to do it safely. #angst bc Dima has to keep sedating him in order to eventually help him ToT 
> 
> So I hope? Y'all weren't bored of reading 10k's worth of a massive game of hide and seek. I wanted to introduce Claude in this segment, give you guys a good look at his characterization, especially since in the first episode, he was very very very different (playing a part that's very unlike his actual personality). In reality, Claude's a genius. He's nearly the perfect mafia head, cunning, strong, skilled, intelligent... he has it all, and that makes him a huge threat to the Snakes, especially since, as we know from part 1, Claude actually ran away from Thales with all of his biggest secrets tucked into his brain. The Snakes literally fear Claude; he's the only one who could tear their entire organization down if he wanted to, and they made a glaring mistake by letting him live instead of killing him with the rest of his family. 
> 
> We'll explore more of Claude's psyche when he wakes up next chapter. I'm excited to write the transition between his current damaged state and the state of confident roleplaying that he shows in part 1. There's a reason for everything he does, and it's all wrapped up in his trauma and how he chooses to cope with it (thanks for the heads up, Mercedes). 
> 
> I hope you'll look forward to chapter 2!! <3


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